A Time For Celebration

So I know my blogs been a lot on the...negative side. I have lots of good news for this one. First of all on the work front. I auditions for Disney characters on Thursday June 8th. Excitemed, nervous, jittery, confident, thrilled...just the tip of the iceburg of how I am feeling about those auditions. NOW...onto something even more exciting...even though it's finacialy not going to be helpful. I got cast in Encore: A Spark of Creation. I'm going to be in the chorus as a tenor II and might have a solo...won't know for a while...but I am still very excited. The show is in the first couple of weeks of August..and it's amazing...it always is. A cast member has made me cry at 2 of the 3 shows I've seen. So amazing. I'll blog later.

Hello Anonymous

So here it goes...I am going to say this...and that is that. I appreciate the thought Anonymous commenter...but the truth of the matter is...if you have loved me for six years and you wish for all of those things...tell me who you are. Atleast the people who have told me they don't love me have told me to my face...and that's better than this crap you continuously pull. I am not a fan of the Secret admirer game...so either tell me who you are...or stop playing the game.

Always The Friend, Never The Boy

So that didn't take long...what the hell is wrong with the world? Why can't I be with someone? Not to be too...TMI..but if all I wanted was sex I'd have no problem at all...but I want more. I want to cuddle on the couch and watch movies, and feel love...and good morning calls to see how I'm doing. I want to say babe and sweetie and hear them in return. I eventually want to hear I love you...and say it... But again..I don't get to. Am I a horrible person to be with? Am I just to hard to be around? What the hell is wrong with me? I just want to break something....I feel broken and now I want to pass that on. I now have no job, no relationship, no money, and a shit load of bills. I just want to know what's wrong with me. There must be something. In science you try the same experiment and if something goes wrong every time and there is only one variable that is the same..that's the flaw...well I am the flaw in this experiment. In almost 24 years I have not found love...even once. Most everyone I went to high school with has gotten married or dated seriously or something. I'm still single, solitary, unlovably lovable...me. And I guess I should just accept that. I'm good enough for sex...but not for love. What have I accomplished in my life? I haven't amassed a sum of money. I haven't built a lot of quality friendships and brought people together. I mean don't get me wrong...I have friends...but most times the ones I hold most dear hide things right in front of my face and I just go on pretending I don't notice. I haven't passed on my genes. I haven't found my calling. I haven't changed the world. What is my purpose? Why am I here? Atleast Princeton had Kate....all I have is temporary false families onstage that I lose contact with as soon as the curtain closes. They tell me I'm talented, I'm attractive....but it doesn't matter...because they only have to deal with me for 2 to 4 hours at a time....and in scripted context. I'm tired of being me...I'm tired of being alone...I'm tired of..being. I'm not suicidal...I'm not that much of a coward...or that brave..or however you want to see it..so just don't. I hate this...bye.

How I'm Feeling Lately

Rejected, alone, crowded, disappointed, hurried, stagnant, annoyed, excited, alone, lazy, disappointing, unhappy, angry, loved, alone. Those are the ones I could come up with before rehearsal. I found my sallow saloo...and in it's truest form..when I get close it dissapears. This is my final sanctuary..but I will probably have to answer for this later...cause I can't voice an opinion or a concern or a worry or anything without it biting me in the ass..just like everything else in my life. Before I get the calls and the messages...just don't. I'm not suicidal, I'm not thuroughly depressed...so just...don't. Later.

Le Shudder

So I've been here since 8 and I have yet to have a single break or a lunch. Yeah..this is fun. NOT TO MENTION...the fact that the meeting has been going on all day and I still have o idea what's going on. Am I rejoining the job search...gah.. Blog later. Hungry now.

Best Laid Plans

So today is shaping up to be..delightful. My two bosses and their boss are in the office have a serious meeting while I watch the shipping board. Normally this would be fine..even if the meeting does concern my employement status....I can handle it. But I also have this other guy who is slightly above me in ranks standing over my shoulder. He stepped away to do something giving me a few minutes to blog. I missed my first break..but being that we don't do anything on days like today when there is nothing going on in the pyrotechnical world...it doesn't really matter. Fringe is coming up! I can't wait! Bonnaroo is coming up....SO EXCITED! Rent is due soon...less than thrilled but more than discouraged. :) As far as my social standing goes...I frequently make my roommate uncomfortable or angry, my parents are obliviously happy with my life and situations, my friends are there for me when I need them and concerned about my well-being when necessary...now if I could just find a good date I'd be all set. I am going to Universal this Saturday with a group of friends...that will be fun and I am going to a bar at some point with Tracy to meet some quality people. I know what you are thinking...quality people at a bar?!?!? All I have to say is that it is a step up from the internet. I'll blog later.

Another Day, Another Dollar...s...

So here I am at work...Production is slow, shipping is slow..and it's one of those gentle rain days that I think should be an internationally recognized paid holiday. All anyone wants to do is sleep...so why not let us and get paid to do it? Anyway...the big meeting is tomorrow...you know the decide my fate kind of meeting where everything becomes clearer in my financial standing and work related life. Or atleast that's what I've been told the meeting is...we will see. I am running shipping by myself the next couple of days...so..I'll probably blog on occasion. The show is going well...Jack "the reviewer" said it "didn't meet his expectations" but lets face it...he was probably expecting crazy characatures and got real people...whatever. He knows very little about theater and even less about our directors vision..the audiences are loving the show...and that's all that matters. Work is...going. The apartment is...there. Money is...not. Anyway. I'll blog later.

Darkness Falls

So the show is going pretty well. Last night we had a power outage just as I finished my big scene...that was fun. A few good saves by my fellow actors. Anyway...I've been sick as all hell for a week now...no fun. That's all that's going on in my life. I'll blog later.

Breath

So the show has a soft opening tonight with an invited audience and about a hundred red hat ladies. Fun. Anyone who wants to come can. House opens at 7:30 and curtain is at 8. It's free...so enjoy if you can. The show is called You Can't Take It With You and is at Icehouse Theatre in Mt Dora. The website is www.icehousetheatre.com. Now...onto how rehearsal went last night. Apparently I finally got it...after 8 weeks of rehearsal and about a million times on the notes and everything...I finally found Tony. And I gotta say I kinda like him. I hope you guys can make the show before it closes...it's going to be a good one. I'll blog later.

Hell Week...Here I Come

So hell week for You Can't Take It With You is finally here. I am diving in head first in hopes that I land somewhere close to where Joel wants me to be. I am rather dissapointed in myself in this show. I keep trying to be where I should be..and it's just not working. I am working on it...but not as much as I should because of work and the move and other stuff. So yeah...I hope I get there before we open cause I am sharing the stage with some really amazing talent and don't want to make them look bad being on stage with me. Ok..so I'll blog later. Gotta rejoin the work force...and that is a task in itself...no joke. Want to know more...ask me outside of this public forum. lol. Laters.

So This One Time, At The Gala

Tonight was the 2nd annual Moon's and Star's Gala..it was fun. Here's some pics.

Look...I got all dressed up.

My wonderful tablemates Denise, Melissa, and Layne.

Amber and Tracy sitting at another table...across the room....whatever... :)

Alyson....sitting with Amber and Tracy...

Melissa is either amused or angered by dinner.

Rob and Nathan singing Agony.

Our Masters of Ceremony Nathan and Andrew hamming it up.

Denise and Rob singing Secret Garden

Jan And Cathy....who can do anything better than who?

Cloud 9

So life is pretty good. I'm working a lot, making money, living in an awesome apartment, my entertainment jobs are pretty steady, I have a skip in my step and someone on my mind. I am performing a couple songs at the Gala on Saturday at Moonlight. That will be fun..get all dressed up and sing and stuff. Might even wear a tux. Gotta go buy some shoes. Money is a little tight due to all the having to spend it on the apartment and stuff..and we will be having a Walmart Card party here pretty soon. The idea is you come see the apartment and rather than bringing us stuff we don't really need you bring us a walmart card so we can add them all together and get the stuff we need. That way no one has to worry about anything...a couple dollars goes a long way....and if you don't want to bring the walmart card...that's cool too. I mean..we will glare at you the whole party with a shameful countenance...but still...we'll probably still love you...in time. Anyway..I should get back to work. I'll talk to you later.

We're Here

So Billy and I moved in today...gonna be a good time. The A/C isn't working up to par...but we will get that fixed. Later.

A Night In Cyberland

Ok..so last night was probably the most boring 6 hours of paid time in my entire life. There were about 3000 computer programmers at that event..and dear god. How interesting can the same story about computer chips being made out of silicone and alluminum be? Not very...that's how interesting. So yeah...all in all it was a good night. I got a date..with a fellow performer..not a computer programmer....I don't think I would have the strength. Get this...Rob Thomas was there...and he sang a few Matchbox 20 songs..and he slowed them down. I miss Angst Rob Thomas...he apparently decided that the computer programmer crowd would be more into the Mellow Intensity Rob Thomas. He misjudged. But it was still a good concert. Now I'm off to...get paid...and not really have anything to do. Pretty slow here. I am running the whole factory by myself today basically. The big boss, my boss, and the repair boss are all in meetings all day. At 12:30 or so I am taking a 2 hr lunch and going to juggle for Tracy's class carnival...thing. I learned a new trick...the juggler apple eating juggle trick. You know...where you juggle 3 apples and eat one while you are doing it. It probably has a better name..but that one works for me. K...I'll blog later.

The Calm Before The Storm

So it's kinda slow at work today. I did all the shipping pretty much by myself...and helped to install some A/C units for the magazines. Tonight is a big night at Universal. Not gonna lay down the details..but it is...wish me luck. Billy and I officially move one week from today...and I have yet to pack a thing. I will end up doing it all Wednesday night...I have all day off Thursday to get everything situated. It will be nice to be closer to the world. I have abs..that's kinda wierd. The other day I did the obligitory "I'm so fikkin hungry" stomach rub and stopped and went.."WAIT A MINUTE! I have abs?". Yes they are under a thin layer of fat...but they are there....I give it 3 months and I will have that fat ebbed away and I will be all...ab...d. Mardi Gras is great. Love the people I am working with...made some great friends....learned how to dance a little more comfortably. "You Can't Take It With You" is right on schedule according the director Joel. He says it is going to be a good show. We already have half a house sold for opening night on May 5th. That's cool. K...yeah...That's it. I'll blog later.

The Game That Stole My Heart...(And Other Cheesy Headlines

So I have been playing Kingdom Hearts 2 pretty much every spare moment of my life for the past few days...getting only the required amount of sleep to function and drinking AMP by Moutain Dew. The game is great. Love it. Got a PS2...and this time I swear that is my last frivilous spending for a while... I am going to Bonnaroo again this year with Joel. That was fun last year...so why not do that again. One of the few vacations in my entire life that I came back feeling rested from...just got away from the outside world for 4 days...it was nice and it will be again....and this time I will have a little money to buy my friends nice hippie merchandise. Anyway..work calls. I want to go to the movies tonight if anyone is interested give me a call or a message or whatever. I was thinking horror...but if no one contacts me I will delve back into Kingdom Hearts 2. I'll blog later.

So My Conscious And I Got Together And Talked About It...

And we'er not going to feel bad about this. "Yeah...f you!" he he he. That was one of the many highlights of last nights rehearsal. I know it's only the second rehearsal but this show looks like it's going to be great. And not even cause of me...I'm pretty...boring really. The rest of the cast is hilarious...and we've only blocked the first Act...and there are 3. Gonna be fun. I'l blog later.

Return To Solla Solew

So last night was the first real rehearsal for "You Can't Take It With You". It's so good to be back. I only did a few minutes of work last night..but it was great. Having a director talk to me about voice placement and characterization. It's just...refreshing. So...I'm back..and I'm happy. It was good to spend the night thinking about Tony's crap rather than Eric's crap. And it continues tonight. On a totally different note...a pretty nerdy one..KINGDOM HEARTS 2 COMES OUT TOMORROW!!!!! If you lost respect for me...sorry...you would have lost it pretty soon anyway. It's going to be hart to tear me away from the ps2 for until this weekend....well it will be hard for most people. There are a couple that I would sit the controller aside for. Call to find out if you are one of them. :) I'll blog later! <~~~~What's that mean again? Alyson? Billy? Anyone?

Wants vs. Needs

So I was thinking about life today and where I am at in it and something crossed my mind from a conversation I had with Tracy the other day. I told her that most people focus on what they need and let what they want fall to the wayside. That society forces what we "need" to do on us and makes us let go of most of our wants. I think that is why I am attracted to the people that I am. Usually they are people who have found a way to make the two things mesh. To make their wants fulfill their needs. I want to be that kind of person. I find myself frequently enjoying what I do...but it isn't what I want to do. I want to be onstage, I want to entertian people, I want to make kids laugh, make mothers cry, make fathers look at their lives and their children differently. That's how I feel when I am onstage. I truly love going on the thrill ride that is being someone else. I sit at work today and while I am doing the job that I am truly enjoying and trying my best to love because I know it's what I "need" to do...thinking about the show I am rehearsing for tonight and the people I will get to see and share the rehearsal space with as we shed ourselves and slip on something a little more unknown and comfortable at the same time. I have to figure out how to make what I want and I what I need to mesh. My mother spent most of her life to this point doing what she needed to do and now she is medicated to stay happy. I know it's a genetic thing...and work didn't have a lot to do with it...but it did have SOMETHING to do with it. I love you all..I really do. You hold me together. You keep me in line. And you are one of my wants that is a need aswell. I don't say it enough..and I don't show it enough. And this job does have the fullfil the want of having the money and the schedule to show you all how much I love you. Please think about this for a few minutes and see if your wants and needs are meshing..and if they are...bravo. You have achieved something that I feel few do. I know that this is kinda strange coming from me right now. I've just been kinda comtemplative lately...about life. I met someone who I find very interesting and think maybe I want to spend some time with and that seems to want to know about me....which made me want to try to know me better as well. I think that's all for now. I'll blog later.

Oh The Stupid

So I got one of the harshest rejections I have ever gotten last night. The exact words used as an excuse for standing me up were, "Um, I unfortunately I got a better offer." ....
....
....
Yeah. That's right. Someone actually said that to me. It's things like that that make you want to just give up on dating and finding someone special all together...cause you just start to think that there isn't anyone special...just a lot of people who are especially ignorant to the way to handle any social situation. On other news...AHHHH!!!! Also.. I am working a lot. La Maitre is fun..most of the time. Building a lot of pyro. That's fun. Also doing Mardi Gras as showboat dancer #4..who I have named Showboat Willy. Just seemed to fit. And my white man dance is apparently getting less embarrasing. In the beginning I was scoring a 1 on the white man scale...now I am up to a 6. The scale works on a reverse numbering system where 1 is more white and 10 is less white. But I have been informed that a 6 on the white man scale is still like a negative 8 on the black man scale..so I got some work to do. Anyway..back to the ol' exploding grind stone. Later yall.

Strongbadia Lives!

So we got the apartment. We move in on April 13th. That is exactly 5 weeks from today so if you guys have furniture or anything that you want to get rid of message me or something and find out if we need it. We will probably pay you for it..or atleast cart it off for you. The apartment is over in Ocoee, just east of the West Oaks Mall. Vizcaya Lakes. Beautiful property. I am at lunch now after 2 days of not working cause I was ridiculously sick...like violently ill...like 104 temp...for 2 days..not good. I am now popping vitamins like they are candy. I'll blog later.

Bloggin From Work

So it's really slow at work...and I know I get no sympathy and I am not asking for it. That seems to be something that people get confused lately...sharing what is going on in your life and how you feel about it isn't necessarily begging for sympahty. I feel like crap...The flu has claimed three people's time and energy at the shop thus far...and there are only 5 of us...and now it's seems to have set it's sites on me. Headache, sniffles, body aches. No good. I am supposed to go to a show tonight called "Musicals of Musicals". That should be fun.
Now...on to what is really on my mind. I want to know...and to apologize if the answer is yes to this...if I have been a little hot and cold lately. Bi-polar I mean. I know it's genetic...and I have noticed getting ridiculously mad over nothing...I just want to know if it's all in my head knowing that symptoms of bi-polar usually show in your early to mid-twenties and I have a history of it. I know I am stressed right now...about the apartment and everything. Just want to get my life going and it seems like everyone else in the world is just kinda trudging along waiting for things to happen...I want to make things happen. And no Billy..I am not directing this at you...We talked...I understand why you didn't go get the paperwork. The apartment complex is taking their time too.
I think that's it for now. Blog later.

That's What I Said About Paris Hilton!

So that was the qoute of the day from me. I won't explain as...well...as I don't want to. So the new job is going very very well. I am working 9 hours a day and getting acclimated to that is tough. I find myself exhausted by 9 at night...which is just wierd for me..being a night owl. I am loving the money though. It's nice to still worry about money...but know that I don't REALLY have to as much. On that note....I turned in an application for an apartment today. Billy and I are hopefully going to be moving into a 2 bed/2 bath apartment over by the West Oaks Mall. It's a place called Vizcala Lakes. It's really nice. If everything goes as planned we will be moving in April 15th. My bedroom will be 13x 12.5 ft. So nice. Walk in closet. Near town....literally across the street from the mall. It will be heaven. I literally can't wait to have A/C, Heat, Hot water on command without worry whether or not I will run out, Cable TV, Cable Internet...oh so nice. Ok..now that I'm done drooling...I'll blog later.

The Eric Update. Now With Less Suicidal Undertones!

Hey guys. Sorry about the blog the other day. It was right after I found out that Sam had been missing all day. It was rough. He came back the next morning...the pad of his right front paw all torn up from him getting his ass kicked somewhere. He's fine..been sleeping and eating nonstop since he got back. I don't think he wants to go outside for a while. In other new...I got a promotion already..I am now a full-time employee of La Maitre Orlanndo. It's cool. I love my job. Putting together a lot of low explosive confetti bursts and some giant fireball cannons and stuff like that. I'm having a blast...no pun intended. Annyway...I'll blog later. I am going to check out some apartments and see when it is feasible for me to move out. Later

And God Said, "I'm Sorry You're Too Happy..."

Then he shit all over my sitauation. The day started wonderfully. New job was going great, the woman they had offered the full-time position to had passed on it for a better job, I was offered the opportunity to get that job as soon as I am trained. Financially things were looking great. Still are. Then I get home and my mother tells me that Sam is missing. That's right..apparently this morning right after I got to work he darted out the backdoor when my mom went to feed my grandmother's outside cats. They tried to catch him a couple times but had been so far unsuccessful. Now he is gone, without a sign. Thanks for that. Am I not allowed one happy day without reprecussion? Fucking world. I'll blog later.

To Good To Be True?

The show last night went pretty well. Carol and Jim loved it...I'm really happy. Their opinion means so much to me. Carol played my mother in Look Homeward, Angel. She is an amazing equity actress and an amazing person. Her husband Jim was also in the show and played one of the borders. Great guy and can definetly his own when onstage with Carol...so amazing as well. They got my number and we are going to grab some coffee or do lunch or somethingbefore they leave on Wednsday of next week. Carrie and Carla came to the show too and liked it. I'm glad. I finally got Giants in the Sky right. Tracy and I were talking about it and finally pin pointed what was wrong. I was telling the story and teaching them the lesson as Jan told me to do. I just had to find the difference between someone telling the story and teaching the lesson and experiencing the lesson while you are telling it. It took a while but I think I figured it out. Thanks for helping me get there Trace.

Now onto the other news of the morning....I GOT THE JOB!!! I am going to be working part time as a pyrotechnician guy at La Maire FX in Groveland Florida. Score. 25-30 hours a week with 12-17 dollars an hour under my belt. Going to be fun...hopefully. I'll blog later.

The Myspace Survey I Yoinked From Alyson

Nothing But A Quizzie Survey Thing

Do you still talk to your first boyfriend/girlfriend?
Yeah. On occasion. She's getting married on the 4th of July.

What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping..fighting crime...finding a cure for cancer...starring in a feature film. In that order.

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Prepare yourself...country.

What's the best thing about your day today?
Hanging out with my aunt for a while.

Do you enjoy Texas hold'em?
Yes. Especially when the celebrities play it.

Are you against same sex marriage?
Nope. How could allowing people who are in love to get married possibly hurt anyone. What happened to allowing the persuit of happiness.

Have you been on a date in the past week?
Not a date persay.

Have you kissed someone you don't like?
Yeah. You do stupid things in high school..and she was pretty dimwitted.

Can you quote an *Nsync song lyric?
If I could differentiate between Nsync and Backstreet boys...maybe.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Yes.

Do you like your parents?
Most of the time.

Tell us about the last conversation you had?
It was with my Aunt during George A. Romero's Land of the Dead. Good movie.

Where do you see yourself in one month?
Ummm...hopefully packing and shipping pyrotechnics during the day and going home to my really nice apartment at night. It is complete with a money vault and I will swim in it like Scrooge Mcduck.

What is your favorite smell?
Fresh baked Pizza Loaf. So good. Either that or the after smell of fireworks.

Do you consider yourself a clean person?
Yes. I don't like the ripeness of a ripe me.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Hanging at the house I am housesitting..then doing a show. COME SEE IT!

Have you ever gone to therapy?
Nope. I am therapy free. When I have money I should probably fix that.

Have you ever gone camping?
Yeah. A long time ago. I went with the Indian guides. That's like boyscouts....but...offensive to an entire race of regional peoples.

Have you ever had a stalker?
Does a blog stalker count? Cause I almost had one of those...kinda. But he never told me who he was...wonder what he looked like.

Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
Nope. I have only seen Billy clothed...and I think we will keep it that way.

What does your myspace name mean?
Ummm...it means...great leader in norse circles.

How many comments do you have?
Obviously we haven't met...I'm Lazy..and you are?

How many profile views do you have?
Just over a thousand last I checked.

What's your current relationship status?
Profoundly single and incredibly available.

What are you wearing right now?
Some shorts that I bought a year ago when I went clothes shopping with Joel to get some clothes that fit..they are too big now. That's wierd. I wear small....shudder.

What is your current problem?
I have a slight headache and that gooey post nasally drippy throat feeling.

Can you dance?
Dance is all about confidence...so to answer your question...maybe...sometimes... with enough confidence builders in my system. But when in character I think I pull it off ok.

Who do you love most?
I'm gonna go with....Someone..who...likes...pizza.

What makes you most happy?
Stage.

Are you musical?
What kinda question is that? Am I musical?!?!? Am I in musicals? Yes...a lot. Do I sing? Therefore producing music and being musical myself? Yes...a lot. Do I play an instrument? Yes..I can pluck things out on a piano. Be more specific...geez.

What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were on cocaine?
Ummm...make...new....friends? No seriously...first I would probably go and find my clothes and put them on. Then I would introduce myself to the naked person beside me and see what they remember from the night before. Then I would find out where I was and find out how to get home.

Name one obvious quality you have?
Well...I'm...male.

Are you happy today?
Yes.

Name someone with the same birthday as you.
You know...that guy. The one...who did the things that was important.

Where was your first French kiss?
I've never been to France...but I'm hoping for a little cafe. Seriously..in my van when I was in high school. Parked on the side of grassy lake rd.

What is your biggest mistake this year?
Trying to be nice to people who twist your words.

Say something totally random about you.
I'm a very attractive man. It's random...trust me.

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yeah. I have gotten 3. Tobey Maquire, Topher Grace, and the kid who played Finch on the American Pie Movies.

Do you still watch kids movies or TV shows?
Definetly. Kim Possible is playing right now. Ron is a pink sloth.

Are you comfortable with your height?
Yes. 6 foot is a very nice height for a guy I think. I could work on the toning of my body a little bit..but my height is very nice.

A Moment of Silence For The Lappy

Well folks...it finally happened. The Lappy is dead. He died a few days ago and I have been using a mac ever since. I am housesitting over in Orlando and they have a mac...so I've been using it. I may be able to resurrect The Lappy when my refund check comes in..but until then things are looking bleek. On another note I am housesitting in a wonderful house for wonderful people. Cable, central heat and air, big bed, huge shower, and in the booming UCF college people area. Love it. I interviewed for the job and it went very well. I should know something by tomorrow...hopefully. My face is all blue from holding my breath. It's a great opportunity. That's the end of this blog. I'll blog later. Long Live The Lappy.

Muscley Goldfish of Stenography!!!

So tomorrow is my Aunt's surgery. I am going to take my cousin Tristan to school and then pick him up and take him to the hospital so he can see his grandma. My mom is here too. She's on the verge of a bi-polar break..not sure if she will keep it together or what..but she is definetly there. I have been able to hear it in her voice for about a week now. She's not getting better. I know there is stress all over the place now and it's tough. Sometimes I wish I had some mood stabilizers to help me out...so I know she's having a rough time with it. I applied for a 12-17 dollar an hour position today with a company that needed a tech person. I know the woman whose husband is doing the hiring so...score. I don't think I am qualified...but she said I should be fine. There will be a conference call tomorrow that will....do...something. The details are a little vaque. Anyway...the stress is mounting. I think I am going to start working out with Billy....if I beef up a little I won't look so skinny and everyone will get off my back. So the grab bag of things to give me a hard time about will be lessened by one. If I get the job it will be lessened by two. That still leaves plenty. I'll blog later.

Jack, Jack, Jack

So Into The Wooeds is in full swing and going very well. I have to say that Jack is one of the few roles I am going to miss when it is over. I really feel the connection...I care about the stupid styrofoam cow. I am definetly going to lose it the last night...blubber like a fool, as I did in Man Of La Mancha. Anyway..come see it if you can. Blog later.

To Those I Love

In 2006 I wish you all Patience, Clarity, and Strength, the Patience to listen to those around you and allow them to help with life’s more difficult situations, the Clarity to see situations for what they are and not get bogged down in the politics of life, and the Strength to take action when it is clear that it is necessary to do so and not wait around for the tangle to turn into a knot.

I know that at sometime in everyone’s life everyone in the world is giving you advice you just don’t want but I also know that usually if the advice is repeated that many times it is usually the best course of action. I grant you all the patience to know when those situations are at hand. They are frequent and annoying, but necessary. No one knows it all, no one has all the answers, but the noisy mob usually has at least one valid point. I know they sometimes may not have all the details but sometimes not having all the details allows for a less clouded view of the situation.

Life is a tapestry woven by fate, but it does tangle something awful sometimes. Clarity is the strangest thing in the world. When you know you have it, most likely you don’t, and usually in your most confused moments you have the most profound clarity. I grant you all clarity to see the situations in your life as they are, not as you want them to be. I know that my Dead Like Me quotes get old, but here’s a good one. “Stand too close to the painting all you see are patches of color. Stand too far back and you can’t see any of the detail. Right now this is your particular perspective.” I grant you all the clarity to step back from the painting occasionally to see just beyond the tangle.

Strength is probably the hardest of these things. It is hard to have to wait for things and even more difficult to step back and look at life objectively, but having the strength to work out the tangles rather than to wait for them to work themselves out or knot, that is true character. Sometimes certain situations just aren’t going anywhere. Sometimes life throws you difficult decisions that hurt you so much you feel you will never breathe again. But that is life. We learn while we are here, and every lesson can’t be an easy one. I grant you all the strength to know when the threads of your current situations will never run side by side and changes must be made. Making changes takes strength of character, strength of will, and most of all a true love for yourself. I love you all and I hope you all love yourselves. You are truly amazing people and I want you all to be happy all the time. I know that that isn’t possible. There will always be hard times, but we will be there for each other when they come.

These are my wishes for those I love on this year of 2006. I love you all. Wow, smell that cheese. I think it is gouda.

And let me just say...before the angry comments role in. This isn't about anyone in particular. You are a great bunch, but sometimes a little self-centered. Everything in my blog isn't directed at one specific person. This is a broad post directed at all of you...cause I love you. So get over yourselves. Ah...yes...now I have balanced the post...just enough cheese to go with my sarcasm. Mmm, Mmm, Good. I'll blog later.

West Coast Friends

Been hanging out a lot with Billy's friends from California. Berto and David are pretty cool. We have affectionatly been named E.C.B.F and W.C.B.F. respectively. East Coast Best Friend and West Coast Best Friend for those of you who don't read minds. Went 5o Disney with Lorri, Berto, David, Tracy, Billy, and Annie. That was fun. It was great being back in the parks...a lot has changed. I am auditioning for parade characters..that will...fun. Yeah...we will go with fun. Played some video games with the guys. That was fun. SO all in all..it's been fun. I am back at my house now, after weeks of not being there cause I have housesat for everyone in the greater orlando area. I am going to Cali this summer...don't know how..but it's going to happen. I think that's about it. I'll blog later.

New Year's Mellow

Last night I decided to boycot the whole New Year's Party thing and have a mellow. We drank, ate, played poker, played other games, drank...drank...drank. It was fun. IT's all the fun without all the party dramatics. I had a blast. Macy's Holiday Parade ended today...that's sad. Mostly cause I have to find a new job now. That sucks. Anyway...blog later.

Building Detachment

I'm Sorry doesn't mean it didn't happen. It means that you both acknowledge something DID happen and that the person who is apologizing recognizes that they handled the situation poorly. Accepting an apology doesn't mean that you will forget what happened. It just means that you also acknowledge something happened and that the person feels remorse. There is an understood statement behind it of "We will both do all in our power to make sure this doesn't happen again." When the act is repeated numerous times the "I'm Sorry" becomes less effective and starts to become mearly a detachment from the act. It hurts when, what sounds like a true, well-meaning apology, feels less real over time, even if you know it was given with the best of meaning and intentions. It just stops feeling like "I'm Sorry, it won't happen again." and more like "I'm Sorry...again." People sometimes seem to forget that...and it seems to be a valuable thing to remember.

Picturepost Part 2...Still Fun

My Cousin Tristan lounging about in the car on the way to lunch.

Will in Rollerskating Carhop get-up

Me and Alyse after running over a guest in my rollerblades

This was supposed to be a muscle pose..but somehow we became the pirates of the clown carribean

Scarecrow Jared looking all sullen without his poinsetta girlfriend Carrie.

Pins And Needles

Ok..so the original plan for the blog was to type whatever I was feeling down. At first I didn't think at all about who was reading and now..that's all I think about. I wish we lived in a world where you couldn't be to honest...but it appears I do not. Honesty is not the best policy. The best policy is keep your mouth fucking shut unless someone asks..and then only tell them the truth they want to hear or a severly watered down version of what you want to say. What's the point in blogging if I can't say what I am feeling without thinking "Will this get me kicked out of a show?", "Will this end a friendship?", "Will this piss off a friend of a friend?" I would try the whole secret blog thing..but someone would eventually find it and then I would have months and months of whatever I was feeling hitting me at once after they read through the whole thing and I yet again got bit in the ass for being to honest. I understand that harshness accomplishes nothing..but this is where I put things down. I understand that a private forum may be better..but ya know what? Maybe I don't want these feelings to be so fucking private. If I want to put out what I think about whatever I am thinking about...that's what I'll do. Writing them in a journal and shoving it under the mattress is just fooling yourself. The universe isn't listening to that..not unless you let the universe read it. So you know what? Read away. Welcome to Eric Uncensored. If I lose friends or acquaintances over this..so be it. I don't need whoever they are anyway. This is not directed at any one person. I know several of you will think it is..and I just want to make it clear that this is a release of a lot of stuff. Ever since the Charlie Brown blog got me singled out and mindraped this has been building and now it's coming out. I'd think that my honesty would be a good thing. I try to be tactful..and when I am proven wrong on a subject I say so, in this very same public forum. If you disagree with something I say...that's fine. Tell me. Don't single me out and threaten me or whatever you are planning. Tell me what you think and I will tell you why I came to the conclusions I came to and we can talk it through like adults. This may be a 2:30 in the morning rant..and I may feel different in the morning...but I realized recently that this blog is no longer fulfilling it's purpose. The Universe has no idea what I'm saying or thinking..cause all my important posts are saved in draft form. I want the people I care about to know what I'm thinking..know what I'm feeling... If I say it harshly it's because I'm feeling harsh about that subject at the moment. The next day I very well may reword the statement..but I will rarely remove it from the post. That's how I was feeling..and that's valid. Deal with it. I'll blog later..and it wll be lighter..what with all this off my chest.

Eric's First Picturepost

My parent's got me a digital camera for Christmas so now you get to see my life as well as read about it. I am sure this will lose it's new eventually..but until then...bear with me.

Blot gaurding his new plushie candycane. (Which five minutes later he consumed.)

Sam gaurding his running mouse...of which he is terrified.

Six getting in on the fun and sitting pretty for the camera.

Now onto the Macy's Parade

Me in most of my friends nightmares.

The beautiful Sandi. Ahh...lets sigh a moment.

Me and Trace...clowning around.

I think that's it for the moment. Only have a 16 mb memory stick..so I can't save many pics. I'll post more later.

Perpetual Weekday

So I am in the Macy's flow. It is constantly somewhere around Wednesday. The week has definetly started, it's not over tomorrow, and I'm tired. It's not a bad thing..just a little..wierd. I always have to ask myself what day it is...and more times than not..I have to ask someone else what day it is. Scrooge is over. It was fun. Alyson and I look....eerily in love...on screen. I can't help it...it's wierd. I kissed Alyson...while doing it..not an issue at all...while watching it...it's like "Wait a minute...those are our lips..and they are touching..and it looks like we are enjoying it." Wierded out. We made brownie in a cup..which was a big hit..probably mostly due to the fact that anyone who eats it experiences instant chocolate overload and will most likely be struck down by diabetes sometime next tuesday. That's all that's going on in my life really. Met some nice people in the parade...several of them I am going to make a conscious effort to get to know better in the next few days...Into The Woods is going to be fantastic..exspecially if Chuck gets to do the set he wants to...it sounds amazing..as usual. That man is a genius. Give him some styrofoam and he can give you anything...anything at all. Anyway..that's about it. Rollerblading is fun. I am thinking about taking it up as a hobby. It's a good excercise...except for the week ankles and the falling. But atleast on a normal rollerblading outting I wouldn't have to wear the clown makeup. By the way..if you see me..the make-up does make me feel like a kid again...mostly cause of the thrusting me back into puberty by causing huge acne breakouts all over my face...well not all over..just in two eyebrow patches above my eyes, two triangles under my eyes...and around my mouth(which is pretty much constantly a redish hue from the oversized smile that never seems to totally wash off.). Oh well. I'll blog more later.

Of Chicken Soup, Macy's Parade, and Smallville

So this week has been pretty busy. Most of it is a blur so I won't bore you with the inaccuarate details of it all. I am a rollerblader in the Macy's parade and I am having a blast. I haven't fallen yet..not even once...and I am actually getting pretty decent. The cobblestone section of the parade route is kinda....tedious..but otherwise..fun. Today I came back to Tracy's afterwards and we ate some homemade chicken noodle soup and watched the episode of Smallville that we missed. It was good. Not great..but good. That Lex...always being evil. Umm...yeah..that probably all that's going on. Scrooge is still going on..it's good. Kinda lost that trill of new show...but still good. I am going to be housesitting the latter half of December and the beginning of January..fun times. That's all I gots. Blog later.

Old People's Theater

"That was wonderful. I don't know why we are here but it was wonderful....oh! Like the pie...would of been better with real sugar but that Splenda is something else. Did you see that boy with the ears? He was amazing. Oh look...cookies. These cookies are a little dry. The cookies at the home are wonderful." That was the extent of the conversation at the theater by the elderly women's club that rented us out at 2 p.m. today. It was....entertianing...I suppose. I'll blog later.

Why Am I Incapable Of Rational Thought And Action?

So I just got in from the Jaws party. Glad I saw them..not so glad I went. Three of my biggest crushes ever...one with a date and the other two flirting with eachother constantly and eventually almost leaving together. Yeah...that's fun. I wish I could turn my liking people off. It would make life so much easier. The show is going well...first friday hell weekend is well on it's way. 2 shows tomorrow. Joy and rapture...but mostly just a pain in my ass.
Eric's Comment of The Night: They really should bottle this awkwardness that comes out of me....Calvin Kline could make a killing
I'll blog later.

Has Eric Finally Learned His Lesson...We Will See

So I am really pissed off at a couple people right now...and I want to blog it all..but I can't..cause it would get out to everyone and their brother and then people would get hurt and I would be left with fingers pointed at me. So I typed it all on my computer...an incredibly angry rant of what I would have said had I realized what was going on. It will stay here. I may let others read it...but only a select few and that's a huge maybe. So what I will say here is that Into the Woods is going beautifully. There have been some cast changes...but none we can't handle and a few that I welcome. My hair is a beautiful brown with a hint of red...It's nice. Don't ever ask me to try to find this color again..but it's nice. I'll blog later.

Jumping

Life is complicated. This is something I have come to realize. I was watching Dead Like Me…which is pretty much a nightly ritual (I know..it’s a problem…but have you SEEN that show? I mean come on..awesomeness on tap.)….and something was said that I felt was blogworthy. It seemed very relevant to several current situations. Here it is.

Set up- (Riverside. Betty has just pulled herself out of the water after jumping off of a nearby cliff.)
Rube: Where you off to?
Betty: I’m going again. That was a hoot.
Rube: Oh, you like falling do you?
Betty: Well it’s not the falling, it’s the jumping.
Rube: Well, you know, I’d feel a whole lot better about the jumping if it weren’t for the falling.
Betty: Falling’s easy. You just fall. Jumping requires strength of will.
Rube: Unless you’re on a plank.
Betty: Then it isn’t your choice, but if it is, it’s the best feeling in the world.
Rube: And you don’t care where you land?
Betty: Landing’s a lot like falling. You just land.
Rube: (chuckles)You’re a force of nature.
Betty: You should really try the jumping. It’s the greatest feeling in the world.

So today I am going to close a little differently. You must have the strength of will to jump. Be confident that you will land where you are supposed to. Our friends and family are the cushion that will catch us. And I know that my cushion will never fail to support me when I jump. Be a jumper. Be a force of nature. And love every minute of it.

One Weekend Gone

So the first weekend of Scrooge went well. Well...my first weekend of Scrooge went well. So did everyone elses...but this was there second weekend of Scrooge..and only my first...but it went well. Alyson and I found that we play love for eachother pretty well...we also realized that generally when we are doing that...we are looking at our own reflection in the other's eyes. What does that say about us? It says that we are actors...and apparently fairly self centered actors at that. After realizing that we realize that we are doing it and burst into giggling fits in the middle of scenes..it's good times. Luckily giggling is a sign of lovesickness....so it works out. Nothing else really happened this weekend. Billy is in California...so total loss of contact with him...that was sad. I work at Jan's school tomorrow...YAY! It is going to be fun. On a totally random and disturbing tangent that has nothing to do with anything that was said in this blog up to this point...I was propositioned last night online...by an old guy. He offered me 250 dollars for...intimate touching. I'm not cool with that. I politely declined...several times...and then blocked him. It was incredibly disturbing...and for some reason..kind of a little flattering. I'm worth 250 dollars... Is that wrong? I think it might be a little...but atleast it's honest. I'll blog later.

Day of Delicious Turkey Death

So I got up at 5:30 this morning and cem over to Orlando to my Aunt Jackie's house. I am cooking the turkey, stuffing, gravy, and a maccaroni pie. So good. Hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving. Ok..so what am I thankful for? My family, my friends, my acting theater life, the call from Universal offering me rollerblader for Macy's, the call back from Universal saying the days I have to take off is ok, my health, my dog, my cat. Lots of stuff. Can't think of a whole lot that I am unthankful for at the moment. A romantic relationship of some kind would be nice...but I'm not pushing. I really enjoyed my time with the elementary kids this week at the montessori school. Now I must go and continue with the basting. I'll blog later.

The Municnexorcism of Eric's Nose

So that chest cold I have had for a week is finally on it's way out. I went and bought some Mucinex. Damn that stuff works. I took one dose and the next morning I woke up and there was green stuff everywhere. It was awful. But seriously....you get a chest cold that just won't quit...leave the priest alone..get mucinexorcised. Just as good. I think maybe I will write a commercial for them. Anyway...I worked for Jan's school the last couple of days. I really enjoyed it....a lot. Those kids are really great. I got to cook with them...even though the soup turned out awful..cause of the stone in it. We were making stone soup...with a stone in it..just like the story...and the only problem with that is...you can't stir it on the bottom...cause the huge honkin' stone in the bottom. So it got burnt a little..and the whole soup tasted as such. Made cider too...that was a hit with the kids. They loved it...and so does Alyson. Gave her the rest. There was like a gallon left. So Thanksgiving is tomorrow...I am feeling much better..and I am cooking an awesome turkey tomorrow. So...yeah...that's all really. I'll blog later.

Stop The Production I Want To Get Off

Stress city. I have discovered something new about myself in the past few days....I have trouble accepting compliments. I am not sure why. I always justify them with something along the lines of "Anyone else would have done the same thing. I just did what was right." Even if I don't say that...that's what is going through my head when I say "no problem." or "Thank you." Everyone is saying I am doing a wonderful job as Ebenezer....even though I am not entirely thrilled with my performance...but I am never entirely thrilled with my performance...on stage, in a relationship, in life. I always could have been a little more convincing, could have been a little more caring, or could have made better choices. I got a call today from the Macy's Parade at Universal...not the whole parade..as it finds it hard to coordinate and make a phone call...but a coordinator who speaks for the parade. I was offered Rollerblading clown. That's right...Eric got the ever coveted position of rollerblader. I get 10.80 an hour verses 7.15. It's cool. Then I told them about Scrooge and they told me they have to get back with me to make sure that the 2 Sundays I have to miss aren't so big a deal as to take away my role. If they call back and say that it is..then I will tell them I can probably get out of one of them..and then call in one of them. These are the days of my life now. Everyone pray for me...cause if I get this job...you get presents. On a related note...I said happy holidays to someone today on my way out of the grocery store...and I got all giddy with holiday cheer. There's a chill in the air, candy canes on every shelf, the smell of pumpkin pies and cinnamon and gingerbread fill the air in publix. I love this time of year. Sure...I don't get to scare people...and it's no Halloween...but what is. Christmas has a singular charm I wouldn't trade. I love you guys. Blog later.

Schroeder Tired

So the first weekend of Charlie Brown is over. The houses have been...pretty empty..but receptive. There have been some really funny "Baseball game" moments. I don't want to spoil anything...so that's all you get. I'll blog later.

Do What Now?!?

Ok so tonight is our final dress with invited audience...and the first time we are running the show without stopping. FREAKING OUT! Blog...terminated.

Why Don't I Care More?

My uncle died today at about 3 p.m. I am not sad. I feel like a horrible person cause I don't feel horrible. He was in the hospital for a few days...got pneumonia. He had cancer. A spot on his pancreas, a spot on his lung, and his liver was messed up. I know I should be sad..but I'm not. I gotta learn to let go..but...I just can't. My dad's side of the family and I just don't get along...we exist together..that's about it. They live 10 minutes away, have only two nephews, and they can't remember our birthdays. They have never tried to come to one of my shows...or even ask how they are. They bought sporting equipment for me for Christmas every year...until they just stopped buying gifts for us all together. He died...and I'm sorry that my aunt reba lost her husband..but I am not sad yet. I don't know if I will be. Maybe I don't have a soul anymore..maybe all the joking is right. I'll blog later.

Proudamaboy

So this blog is dedicated to Alex. He's awesome. Saw him in Salt And Pepper today...and it was awesome. Rather than type it all out I am going to copy and paste from a previous entry during Lost In Yonkers. "Alex (Arty, the youngest of my two sons in the show) is truly amazing for his age. He is 15 and doing things as an actor that I don't think I could have pulled off at his age...and really just an all around great kid while doing it." So the opening of Charlie Brown looms in the not so distant future. We open one week from today. Show dates and times are as follows.
Friday 11th- 8 p.m.
Saturday 12th- 2 p.m. & 8 p.m.
Sunday 13th- 2 p.m.
Friday 18th- 8 p.m.
Saturday 19th- 2 p.m. & 8 p.m.
Sunday 20th- 2 p.m.

I hope I will see you all there. Go see Salt and Pepper too. I'll blog later.

Wait...What Was I Saying

So I'm blond now. It's wierd. I don't hate it, I don't love it. Halloween is over...I hate that. How does the end of Halloween sneak up on me every year? You'd think I would totally see it coming..but I never do. I am profiling to be a entertainment coordinator. That could be cool. It's atleast in my field. I'm still tired..but not as tired. Ran out of gas at home this morning. No more hot water until Friday...so I will be bumming showers from all my wonderful friends. That's right Tracy and Billy...this means you. That's about it. Blog later.

Freaking Pain In The Ass BBQ

So I got up at 7 to start BBQing for my cast at HHN. Took me 2 hours to get the fire up to standards in the smokers...then I was talking to my father and he told me there was no way the meat was going to be done in time on the smokers...so I had to build a new fire on the main pit. Built a roaring fire on there and transfered the meet over to that pit at about 11:45. It should be fine..just a busy morning. 6 sets at Halloween tonight is going to drain me to the bottom of my reserves...luckily I have people to talk to on the way home. Into The Woods readthroughs are tomorrow morning at 10 a.m...I'll be there..in some form. Probably in pajama's...and drooling slightly from exhaustion but that's ok. I am excited about getting started on that show. However I doubt very seriously that I will be hitting any "Giants In The Sky" caliber notes that morning. The people who haven't heard me sing will just have to go on faith that I can do it. I am missing Charlie Brown rehearsals. I have grown to love this version of Schroeder too as I said I would. I enjoy my time as a 6 year old. It's fun. I'll blog later...gotta keep an eye on the fire.

No, I Have A Penis, That Was Sunday's Point Of Ridicule

So it's been a long week. Sunday I finally got to be a Checkerboard. It was fun. Except for the tight pants that made my package...well...incredibly visible. Then on Wednesday at rehearsal the director said I throw like someone with a vagina. OK PEOPLE! Which is it? Penis or vagina? I know what I have..but if everyone else makes up their mind I think the world will be...THE SAME! Move on. Tonight I was a blizzard boy at HHN..I yelled a lot. Told a kid I lived under his bed...he started crying..ah the joy. Now Charlie Brown opens on November 11th. Friday at 8, Saturday at 2 and 8, Sunday at 2 for 2 weeks. COME TO THE SHOW...if you want....to stay on my good side...which isn't particularly nice most of the time..so..imagine the bad side. Just kidding..come if you want...don't if you don't want. Whatever. It's gonna be good though. I'll blog later.

Commence With The Bloglin!

So last night was fun at Halloween Horror Nights. I was in the water mole room with Billy and we came up with out own code words. At one point he pointed out this woman who was shaking and saying things to herself and near tears and yelled, "Eric! That eggs about to crack." and I jumped out and brought her to her knees crying. Then I came back into the room and said, "I think I just made an omelette!" This is only one of our exchanges...and they are hilarious...cause no one could hear us. It was fun. I am over at his place now and we going to go run some errands and get some lunch..and I am going to have a talk that needs to be had...one way or another. Halloween is still very fun....Macy's is shaping up though. I'll probably be walking stilts or coordinating. Anyway...I'm gonna go and I will blog later.

Disturbed Sleep

I had a really disturbing dream last night. Woke up at 6:00 a.m. and didn't fall back asleep for half an hour cause I was thinking that maybe someone was in my house. I was in a house...really messy. Filled with books and computers. I found a peanuts comic book and read it but it was all about snoopy for some reason..no Schroeder...and I couldn't get the lights to turn on right...they just kept flickering. This guy showed me a secret level on Doom...and it showed you a movie trailer or something. Then I went outside and some girl pinned me to the ground and tried to gouge my eyes out with her fingers and that's when I woke up..when she was trying to pulled my eye out. It was really intense. That's just the bits that I remember. Anyway..Halloweeen Horror Nights is still good. We are having fun. I had a lot of fun with the A cast last night. I missed them last week when I kept getting stuck with the B cast. I'm having internal conflict about the guy who may have been flirting with me. I promised I wouldn't persue anything cause it may make things awkward for...others. But I'm thinking I may have to just ask if he's at all interested in hanging out outside of work. Just so that if he says no I can crush the crushlet before it becomes a full blown crush. If he says yes it can develop at normal pace without any worry. Computer is being annoying. I'll blog more later.

Blogging At Tracy's

So I am here at Tracy's waiting for the play selection meeting to begin. It will be an interesting experience being part of the selection process for Moonlight. Then I can see what shows they could have done but chose not to. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad. The excitement of Jack is seeping in. Billy accepted the part...so I am excited that we will be able to work together. Ate at Steak N Shake...had a Dark Chococlate Fudge shake...OH GOD YES! That was so freaking good. Killed my tenor range for a few hours atleast..but it was worth it. I'll blog later.

Cleaning Habits Of A Trailer Trash Refugee

That made sense in my head. It's 2:25 and I have just finished doing the dishes, washing and folding all my clothes, and concidering sweeping and mopping the floors. This trailer is disgusting. If the lights worked in the living room/dining room I would go and clean that up...cause that's the worst of it. But they don't...and I don't care how messy it is...I'm not cleaning by flashlight at 2:30 a.m. So the whole cast has yet to be announced. I want to know the rest. Billy has yet to accept or decline the role. Charlie Brown rehearsals continue. More on that later. I did get to see my Schroeder costume..and I guess I am Schroeder as Billy and Tracy pointed out several times. I have almost the exact same outfit. It's wierd really. I mean we aren't going with the purple cause apparently they couldn't find the purple and black shirt and black shorts that he wears in the comic and movie. So they went with blues. It's wierd..but it will work. I'll blog later

Jack Conflicted

Ok...let me start this blog by saying that I am not as melodramatic as my post yesterday. It just caught me off gaurd. The last place I expected to run into that situation was at Moonlight. Now onto the current. Into The Woods auditions went well tonight. I found out part of the cast. I am Jack, Tracy is Baker's Wife, Alyson is Witch, Nathan is Repunzel's Prince, Kyle is Cinderella's Prince, Amber is Snow White/Stage Manager, Tom is Mysterious Man/Narrator, and Billy was offered Cinderella's Father/Wolf. My conflict is as follows. I was exstatic about Jack for about 45 minutes. I was sure that Billy was going to get Baker and now that I know that he isn't..I feel his pain and my own. The true joy that was building about this show wasn't entirely about the part...it was about the people. I know that if Jan cast someone else she has her reasons. She saw something in whoever that she missed in Billy. I know this must be the case. Whatever it may be...I don't know. I was just blindsided by him not getting that part cause in my mind..it was his. Just like Alyson, Nathan, Kyle, and Tom. I was sure that was the parts that they were going to get. I can honestly say I am not as excited about doing this show with another Baker. I mean I am still happy I got Jack. Don't get me wrong..I was suprised. But without my best friend there beside me I am not as thrilled. That is my post for this evening...in hopes that sleep will show itself. I'll blog later.

Getting It Off My Chest

So here's what is going on. A while back...probably three weeks I confessed my attraction to this guy at Icehouse. I had been attracted to him for a while...well I ended up working one weekend of Evita and I figured..."ah, what the heck. I'll go for it.". So we all went to the Frosty Mug and I told him I was interested in him..and he told me he was interested in me. There was a lot of talking about relationships, and wanting relationships, and past relationships, and how we were feeling that we weren't going to meet anyone. Then we walked around Mt. Dora some and there was a kiss or two. He came home with me and we both fell asleep. Pretty innocent. Pretty tame. The next morning we woke up and one of the first things he said to me was "I can't do this.". I just wanted to ask, "You can't do what? Get to close? Feel something? Be in a relationship?" But I didn't...I played it cool. I said, "That's fine. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'll give you my number and you can call if you want." Then that night at the show we totally avoided eachother for the whole first act. During intermission I bit the bullet and went over to him and said hey. He then uttered those time honored words that usually translate to "You won't be seeing much of me after today...and when you do...it will be awkward as all hell." I am of course talking about "We Need To Talk" I hate those words. Anyway...He told me about how his friend had been trying to get ahold of him all night because he had had an emergency and couldn't and he needed to deal with his life right now and all that stuff. I continued to play the cool guy role...and said that was fine. And he said he did want to keep in touch with me and I said great. he said I'll give you my number after the show...I said great. Then I went back to to do the show. Then after the show..he vanished..and I didn't see him or hear from him again until tonight at auditions. I know it sounds stupid and melodramatic...but I really like him....and everything is just kinda....there...and I have a really hard time just letting go. That is what's bothering me. I was sure we wanted the same thing....and I was sure that it was going to happen..and it didn't...but was left with a window of possibility. But I don't want a window of possibility..I want reality. So tonight he shows up at auditions and I waited a few minutes...then I went back and sat next to him and said hey. It was awkaward. I was hoping for a "Sorry I didn't call you, I've been busy."..any kind of excuse or even just a "I had to go right after the show and I forgot to give you my number...here"...I don't care..but all I got awkward conversation about how he wasn't going to auditoin and decided to last minute. How his show is going kinda ok. It was just painful. I guess I just expected to much. Fine...I'm greedy...fine I'm selfish...fine I'm melodramatic(that one I know is accurate...look at this freaking blog.)...but that's me. And I'm still hurting.

Emotional Gravity

Into The Woods auditions went really well tonight. It's pretty stiff competition. The guys were all REALLY good. Everyone said I did really well..but everyone always says that. It's totally up to Jan to decide whether or not I am charismatic and I can carry a part or not. I ended up singing "Dancing Through Life" from Wicked. Everyone said it was wonderful. Then the director decided to have us read from Urinetown. I got to read for Bobby Strong. It was a blast. Anyway...I'm going to go. I'm dealing with some stuff right now. Someone showed up at auditions...someone I like a lot...a whole lot...and I don't have closure...and that bothers me. The problem is...I fall hard..and I fall fast. Hence the title of this blog. Anyway...I'll be fine. Just tired of being alone. I close with lyrics by John Mayer.

Love Song for No One
staying home alone on a Friday
flat on the floor looking back
on old love
or lack thereof

after all the crushes have faded
and all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

searching all my days just to find you
not sure what I'm looking for
I'll know where
when I see you

until then I'll hide in my bedroom
staying up all night just to write
a love song
for no one

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

you'll be so good
you'll be so good for me
I know you'll be so good
for me
for me

I Wonder If White Statues Bleed Red

So last night I got to be a B cast white statue. It was fun. Discovered that two casts have totally different feels to them. Cast A is creepy scary, cast B is crazy scary. After talking to the performance captain I found that each cast got have the message. We are supposed to be crazy, creepy, scary. Anyway. I had a good time...sort of. They are really nice. They haven't bonded as much as Cast A though. Several of them did come up and say there were really glad that I was going to be in their cast. 2 of them even referred to me as the "King of Halloween". It was kinda fun being Halloween Celebrity. Then one of the White Statues I Was working with decided to give me notes. "I was watching you last set and you need to make some changes." That is what he said to me. Then continued with the changes. Things like..don't go for a double scare. Well I swallowed hard and said "Thank You". I later told my ASM and she said that that was the right thing to do anyway he was WAY out of line. She was like "You're a swing for a reason. It's cause you know what you are doing and can do anything in this house." That was good. Anyway...after observing one of his sets...I realized what his problem was. The way that the 4 lights work in the room work is like this. Each one pulses gently one at time around the room and then they all go super bright for one pulse all together. Well he only scares during that super pulse. That is why he had something to say to me...cause I was scaring EVERYONE and he was scaring every 5th pulse. Anyway...I had fun none the less. Alyson, Travis, Amber, and Travis' sister came through the house. I scared them...but I apparently look oddly attractive painted all white with cracks in my face. I'll blog later.

No I Wasn't Flirting With Him, But I Did Break Someone's Fingers

All true..well..the last part anyway. I very well may have been flirting with him. When did I become flirtatious? I never flirted before...I didn't know how. I guess being an actor...I learned. Apparently he was flirting with me. I didn't notice. I still get very low self-esteemy sometimes about that. Tonight was a self esteem booster though. My Stage Manager told me he almost pulled me to be a coordinator this year for Halloween but didn't cause he knew how much I loved beiong a scareactor, then I found out that most of entertainment is trying to get me to be a coordinator, then my Assistant Stage Manager told me that I AM Charismatic and laughed at the thought that someone thought I wasn't, then an attractive person was apparently hitting on me. Hmmm, It hasn't been such a bad day after all. Happiness is anyone and anything at all that's loved by you. I don't care what you think about the show...that's a great message. Now I think I am going to go and sleep so I can rejuvinate before tomorrow when I have to go to the bank and get money, clean my car, return some rentals, do some laundry, and finish off the night scaring people with a 2x4 in a dark,foggy, windy room. I'll blog later.

Please Everyone?!?! Try Anyone...

Tonight I was a White Statue at Halloween Horror Nights. It was SOOOOO much fun. One of the best roles I have done so far. It was like being in the streets again. I loved it. So if one more person says I am too thin I am going to scream. 2 years ago I was overweight and everyone couldn't tell me enough..now I am skinny..not underweight...still not in great shape but everyone still can't get enough of telling me that I am too skinny now. I am 6 ft tall and I weight 160 lbs. That's not underweight. I do not agree with medical science when it says that I could lose another 5 lbs before I was at the ideal weight for my height....but I am happy with my current size. I want to bulk up, build some muscle, get somewhat cut..but I do not want to lose more weight. Now onto the whole, people calling me a slut issue, (no Billy it's not just you, and this isn't even directed at you, you just happened to be the most recent of the Eric's a slut proclaimers, and I know it wasn't said to be hurtful or anything, and it really wasn't..just stating the facts.) I, for the first time in my life, am occasionally having intimate moments with people, I get caught up in it and hope that more will come of it. I know I have to slow down, I know that a kiss on the night that I tell someone I am interested might be a little fast..I know these things. I am not saying that I want you to stop caring, I am not saying I want you to stop voicing your concerns. It's great that you have all found someone, that you are all blissfully happy. My lifestyle at the moment just isn't working that way. Every single time I have "gotten myself into trouble", as I have recently reffered to it, it truly was with intent of a relationship of some sort to form. It however was not in the cards. I want to be happy, I see the pattern, I just don't care at the moment...and I am happy. This is truly just venting after a long night of scaring the crap out of people. I am not upset, I am not angry, I am not even mildly irritated. Just venting what I am feeling at the moment. Which is what I do on this blog..as stated previously. I will not however be posting again in a few days, weeks, months or whatever to explain this post. So no one post angry comments.

K, This Is Getting Ridiculous

So here's something I cooked that was really good. I call it Chicken Parmesan Quesadilla's. It's a chicken breast baked in the oven with an italian bread crumb crust. Then chopped and put inside a quesadilla with some mozzerella and parmesan cheese. Now the one I made the other day as a trial had no sauce...I dipped it in spagetti sauce. It was good. Tweeks are going to have to happen before it is restaurant worthy...but it is good. I'm thinking about adding some sauce, basil and oregano to the actual quesadilla. Anyway...you fry the tortillas for a few seconds until crispy on both sides. Put the cheese, chicken, and sauce(optional) inside and then pop it in the oven at 350 until it cheese is melted and everything is heated through. I enjoyed it. Alyson you can leave the chicken out and it would still have a very italian taste with the mozzerella and parmesan rather than the normal fontina and monterey jack that is in quesadillas. And that is Eric's Cooking Corner. I'll blog later...like...45 minutes from now at the rate I am going.

DOUBLE BLOG!?!?!?

I would just like to say for all those out there who are tired of "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown" that you do not have to come to the show if you do not want to. You will however have 100 cool points deducted from your account. You will also be missing out on some quality Eric, Billy, Tracy, and Andrew comedy with special guests Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty. Account balances are listed below.

Alyson- 400 cool points
Lu Lu - 350 cool points
Jennifer-300 cool points
Sarah- 500 cool points
Sarah F- 450 cool points
Joel- 600 cool points
Amanda- 437 cool points
Lynne- 754 cool points
Gerard- 400 cool points

Please do not overdraw your account or there will be reprecussions.

Evil Rainbow Scvoils Attack!

Sorry I haven't blogged lately. I just feel limited as to what I can blog as of late. Things will get better I am sure. Scrooge is going well from what I can tell. YAGMCB is moving along. We are off book...mostly. Rehearsal got cancelled tonight so I went to check in with my Moonlight peoples. I will be more open with my blog somewhere around mid November until then it's all rainbows and kittens I guess. So...this is for Blog supporters everywhere. Today it was exactly 76 degrees all day long and it only rained when I was inside. There were puppies and kittens and a rainbow constructed entirely of starburst and skittles. A creditor called me today and told me not to worry about paying off my debt, he understood and he would take care of it. I found 50 bucks in my shoe and someone waved me through a toll booth. Then I got home and Blot met me at the door with a gentle lick and a newspaper that consisted entirely of the funnies. I had hot chocolate and ice cream before bed and I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. Ahh...life is good. I'll blog later.

Because I Can't....

::Shakes fist at the sky weakly::

Heavy Chest

There are many things I would like to say right now but fear has robbed me of my outlet. I am truly sorry that the things I said in my previous entry about "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown" hurt people's feelings. That was not my intent. I keep this blog as a reminder of how I felt on the day that I wrote it. My entries are what has upset me, what I am happy about, or just incoherent ramblings about nothing in particular at times. Even when I typed those things I didn't mean for them to be hurtful to anyone because I forget that people even read these. When I type these it is to get whatever is on my chest off of it and go from there. And even so, isn't it better that what I wrote is exactly as I set it down the day after auditions. Totally untampered with, without constant revisions through a twisted game of telephone. Those words are there for me to eat...every single one of them..exactly as I wrote them. I understand that people like face to face interaction, but this truly was never to go farther than off my chest and into my blog to be filed away and revisited later, most likely followed by me seeing it as a childish thing to get so worked up about.

As far as the things I said about the musical director, director, and Charlie Brown. The things that I said were totally pieced together through things I had heard and put together on my own. I made assumptions about why Charlie got the part and posted them on my blog, yet again for my own personal storage, yet again forgetting that this is a public forum. After a week of rehearsals I can see that the director is molding the character in the way she sees fit and she cast the show the way she saw fit. Yet again I am sorry for hurt feelings, this was in no way my intent. Quite frankly if I was out to hurt feelings there are much more sure-fire ways of doing so than posting a rant in my blog on the net and I am lazy...and therefore much more direct about these things.

Now onto the original show vs. the revival. I reffered to the show several times in my past entries as crappy. I understand why we are not doing the revival. Financial issues, rights issues, performance space issues, not to mention orchestration. Let me revise my statement to say the following. In relation to, AND ONLY IN RELATION TO, the revival...the original show is lacking. As a stand alone show...the orignal is very well written, the music is really good, and the characters are very true to the peanuts comic. The only reason I hold a special place in my heart for the revival is the fact that I have seen it quite a few times in the past year and I own the CD. That is the show I know and it is wonderful. Yet again..I repeat..I understand why we aren't doing it. It just isn't within our capabilites in our current space with our current financial means. A really well done original will be better than a lacking revival due to the lack of means.

Also I would like to say that I do not think Schroeder is a bad part. I love the part. Even when I mentioned the part of Schroeder it was always in a positive way. I was learning a song to play for the part. The way I saw it in the beginning was like this. It would be like playing Romeo & Juliet but cutting the famous balcony scene. It's still a great show, but you would still miss that scene. I am a musical person...I just happened to find it much easier to relate to the revival Schroeder because of some of the amazing musical numbers they put in for him. I am finding other ways to relate to the original Schroeder, but I was originally just dissapointed that I was going to be missing out on that musical connection. I will honestly say I do like the character of Schroeder alot whether it be in the revival or the original.

Now onto what I think is the final issue for me to deal with on this entry. It has been said that I have driven a wedge between the cast..almost right down the middle. I really do not feel that this is the case. Since I posted that blog I have been to rehearsal everday and worked as hard as I can. There would obviously be a stronger bond between myself, Billy, Tracy, and Andrew...just because we have a history. I have known 2 of them since I was 15 and the other is my best friend. I am the guy who goes to a party and stands in the corner if he doesn't know anyone. I don't draw people to me. If I ever, in any way, excluded someone from any activity at rehearsal I yet again am truly sorry. I feel that I have worked hard in and outside of rehearsal. I am working on getting off book, I know most of the music, we are almost through with blocking, and any suggestions I made in regards to things we could do in the show were purely because they were things that at the time seemed like they might be a nice addition to the scene. I really feel that everything that I am saying is truthful. Since the day that I got those things off my chest I have not acted out in anyway in regards to driving the cast apart.

I wish I had been able to articulate this clearly today before rehearsal but in all honesty I was absolutely shocked and couldn't take it all in and even form complete sentences outside of "I'm sorry.", "That's how I felt, not how I feel.", and "It was for me.". Yet again I resort to the written word and I will eat every word if necessary.

"Did You Die Today? No? Oh Well, There's Still Tomorrow

So today was the last day of fire drills. It was fun. I was unconscious, resp above 30, unrresponsive. I almost died. 2 Firemen carried me out of the building, dropping me three times along the way. It was fun. The best part was probably the fact that health proffesionals...from health services...weren't sure whether or not I was acting or not. It was cool. Anyway..that's it. Later.

Bloggin At Billy's

This weekend was fun. I went to Universal with Tracy and Bill. It was good times. Universal tried to make it not good times...but we showed them. Halloween Horror Nights continues to rock hard and it will rock even harder once Billy is one of us yet again. He is auditioning on Tuesday and we will see what happens after that...I know he is going to get cast..cause well...he's an actor..and this is the lower level of acting...basest of all animalistic urges. I gotta say it's good to be home..in all respects. I'm at my best friend's house for the first time in a long while hanging out, I'm doing Halloween Horror Nights and hanging out with all my HHN friends. It's just a good time. Even if I still have no money and the calls from the creditors are getting a little threatening. Charlie Brown is still exciting..it will be more exciting after tomorrow when we find out if we are going to be able to get Doc to do the revival instead of the original crappiness of You're A Good Man Charlie Brown. Now off to watch me some Buffy. I'll blog later.

Blogger Spam?!?!?! Nothing Is Sacred

So this blogger spam thing is annoying as all hell. 2 posts and three spams...that's not very good. Anyway..things are good. Cold Blind Terror is going to be amazing. Blog later.

Halloween Horror Nights

It's here again folks...and it rocks! My house "Cold Blind Terror" is going to scare the pants off of everyone. Charlie Brown is still the same...we are going to try to get them to do the revival..and I am learning to play the Moonlight Sonata so that I can be an even more convincing Schroeder. I'll blog later

You're Not So Great A Guy, Charlie Brown

So auditions went wonderfully...it's the casting that wasn't so great. Billy and I were marvelous Charlie Brown's...easily the best ones there. Unfortunately the musical director's son was auditioning and said he would only accept Charlie Brown. If he didn't get to do the show then his mother wouldn't do the show and then we wouldn't get to do the show at all. I ended up cast as Shroeder, Billy as Linus, Tracy as Lucy, and Andrew as Snoopy. The four of us are going to rock..and the patty is gonna be good too. Charlie Brown...not quite as much. We are currently doing the original rather than the revival...so I don't have the kick ass song. I am of course reffering to Beethoven Day. I am going to fight for that one to get put in. Cause I can sing it...and it rocks...and I wanna sing it...and that's that. So anyway...I'll blog later.

Charlie Brown Here I Come

I am over at Tracy's trying to decide what to sing for Charlie Brown auditions. They are on Sunday. We are gonna rock. Tracy, Billy, and I are going to sing "I Wish I Could Go Back To College" and then each of us has a solo piece ready as well. We are hoping things go well and we all end up part of the show. On an unrelated note I am a swing in the "Cold Dark Fear" haunted house this year at Halloween Horror Nights. That's all I know at the moment. I'll blog more later.

Eric's Back In Blac....Um...Tanish, Brownish Hue

So I am back from Phoenix. It was a beautiful ceremony. I am also told that Nathan and Amber's ceremony went off without a hitch..well..except for the one that was planned..cause they were getting hitched. Anyway...I had a blast in Phoenix. I love the west. Desert climate wasn't so bad. I can tolerate 108 if it's not ridiculously humid. I swam, I tanned, I danced, I ate, I slept, I had a great time! Perfect ceremony. On the edge of a lake with mountains in the distance...fairy tale setting. I spent a lot of the weekend hanging out with Christian, Madeline, Joel's family, and his best friend Brian. They are all really great people. Glad I got to meet some of his Cal Arts friends. Brian told me there is work for me at his store in New York if I were to decide to move up there...granted I would make almost nothing. 7.50 an hour plus 2 percent commision selling bean bag chairs at The Love Sack. It was nice of him to offer though. I'm glad I am home. I LOVE flying by the way. I will blog more later. I'm hanging with Billy as he house sits for the newlyweds. blog later.

Eric Does Dallas...in a totally platonic, not sexual way

I'm in Dallas. Flying was awesome. HUGE AIRPORT! I have 2 mnuutes left on the internet kiosk. Fun, fun, fun. Karaoked last nigh for Nathan and Ambers parties. Was fun. Runing out of time. No more money. Blog later

What's Up Doc?

So I went to the doctor today after weeks of uncomfortableness just got to be too much. I have strep throat...and a possible chronic case of sinusitis. Basically my sinuses are clogged with mucus that harbors viruses, bacteria, and fungi. That in turn makes me sick over and over again. HENCE...all the spitting...I mean...being sick. I am heavy doses of antibiotics and decongestants until I get back from Phoenix next Monday. Then I am getting a catscan of my sinuses so we can actually tell if the doc's theory is true. It's a good one though. Works going well...friends are doing well..mostly...and all is good. LATER

Priority Check

So I am house sitting for these rich lawyer people that my friend Allison knows.(Notice...different spelling...so it's not Awesome...it's Allison.) These people are loaded. 5000 dollar painting, annoying persian cat, 6000 dollar mattress, 400 dollars down comforter...you get the idea. Guess what's missing...HOME PHONE...INTERNET. I'm sorry but if I had oodles of money...I'd get those before the painting. You can access art on the internet. It's a cool painting though. I just would have gotten internet. That's just me...a child of the technelogical age. Anyways...I gots to go take care of a spoiled rotten persian. I get to brush him 2 times a day, wash his water bowl two times a day, 3 treats a day, 2 meals a day...spoiled...I only get one usually. Anyway. I'll blog later.

I Thought...

That was the title of a poem I wrote when I was 16 years old. Just seemed fitting. Work is going well...making about 50 dollars everyday at lunch...that's not bad for lunch. Dinner is the place to be though. Someone supposedly brought in 420 dollars in tips the other night. Dear God....let me make half that in one night..and I will be happy...er... There's a lot of drama going on as of late. Nick is no longer speaking to me...don't know why. And the only reason I would want to know is so I can decide whether or not I give a shit. There's all kinds of drama surrounding some of my most favorite people but I am not blogging all about it on here. That's their stuff..not mine. Just lots of worries are out and about. I am going to a house warming party for the people that I will be house sitting for starting next week for a week. I will watch their house until I fly to Arizona for Joel and Amanda's wedding. Then I come home on Monday and the work goes full force. I miss Cabaret...I miss Cliff...I miss Sallyy..and I miss the hookers. But life goes on. I'll blog later.

That Little Old Lady Just Stole My Pen

So I have realized that I am a bad blogger. I get busy and I forget or my computer doesn't work. But I think I make up for it with my witty titles and interesting commentaries. I'm like Harry Potter novels...long awaited but greatly rewarding. And I'm modest too. Anyway...I've been busy as all hell since the Eric's Birthday Bash at Tracy and Bill's thrown by Alyson. It was amazing..my cheeks are still a little red from all the embarrassment...and I have forgotten how to spell. Anyway. Cabaret is over..I miss it. Houlihan's is open..and busy as all hell. My first day I worked a double, I was lunch and dinner closer (basically amounts to dining room supervisor), they are going to train me to be a trainer, I made 45 dollars in tips on opening night..and it was a soft opening. That's not bad concidering 3 of my tables didn't top (EDIT:Um...Correction...They didn't TIP me at all. Damn vowels.) me at all cause they were foreign..or assholes. I went to Encore...I nearly cried. It was so amazing. Luerne was beautiful, amazing, perfect...I can't even describe it. Now my computer is trying to screw up so I will blog more later...I promise.

Happy Freaking Birthday

So today is my birthday, according to the calender anyway. My family is going through a rough patch financially...it's pretty much the last 23 or so years..this is an especially rough patch though. So anyway...long story short...no birthday wishes for me...atleast for a couple weeks. Not being negative about the whole thing just kinda hard to be excited about a birthday free of birthday festivities. It being my birthday is actually depressing my parents. Anyway...I have a show tonight..that should be good. Everyone and their brother is coming. Tyson, James(his boyfriend), Mom, Dad, Mathew (my brother), Bob (my dad's best friend), Donna (his wife), Cindy M. (from HHN and Forum). That's just the one's I can think of right now. Then after the show I am going to Bill & Tracy's to hang with people. I'll blog later

There Was A Cabaret

Well kids, it's almost over. This is the last weekend of Cabaret. It's going very very well. We have a waiting list of 90 for our last weekend and we are TOTALLY sold out. It's wierd to be part of a show that is this successful. Hoolihan's still isn't open but they are saying they are going to be doing orientation sometime next week. Things are not bad right now. I know...shock! I am still pretty broke, still single, still all those things I was last week...but I have wonderful friends and a family who tries their best to make sure I have what I need. And I do. I am not going ot worry about the rest. Atleast I am going to try not to worry about it. It's hard to go cold turkey on worrying. I am at Tracy's right now waiting for her to get ready so we can go to the show tonight. Tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY! Score! It's good times. Nick and I are talking..some. We have talked about going to a movie next week...we will see if that happens and judge how things are going from there. That's pretty much it on my end. InkBlot and Samari are doing very well...running, jumping, and playing constantly. I do want to thank everyone for coming to the show though. I can honestly say there were only about 2 nights about the 15 night run that I didn't know someone...or someone didn't come up and talk to me about a previous performance they had seen me in. It felt good to know that people cared...and they came...and they saw. Thanks you guys...Christian was right...All you need is love and I got it. I'll blog later.