Building Detachment

I'm Sorry doesn't mean it didn't happen. It means that you both acknowledge something DID happen and that the person who is apologizing recognizes that they handled the situation poorly. Accepting an apology doesn't mean that you will forget what happened. It just means that you also acknowledge something happened and that the person feels remorse. There is an understood statement behind it of "We will both do all in our power to make sure this doesn't happen again." When the act is repeated numerous times the "I'm Sorry" becomes less effective and starts to become mearly a detachment from the act. It hurts when, what sounds like a true, well-meaning apology, feels less real over time, even if you know it was given with the best of meaning and intentions. It just stops feeling like "I'm Sorry, it won't happen again." and more like "I'm Sorry...again." People sometimes seem to forget that...and it seems to be a valuable thing to remember.

Picturepost Part 2...Still Fun

My Cousin Tristan lounging about in the car on the way to lunch.

Will in Rollerskating Carhop get-up

Me and Alyse after running over a guest in my rollerblades

This was supposed to be a muscle pose..but somehow we became the pirates of the clown carribean

Scarecrow Jared looking all sullen without his poinsetta girlfriend Carrie.

Pins And Needles

Ok..so the original plan for the blog was to type whatever I was feeling down. At first I didn't think at all about who was reading and now..that's all I think about. I wish we lived in a world where you couldn't be to honest...but it appears I do not. Honesty is not the best policy. The best policy is keep your mouth fucking shut unless someone asks..and then only tell them the truth they want to hear or a severly watered down version of what you want to say. What's the point in blogging if I can't say what I am feeling without thinking "Will this get me kicked out of a show?", "Will this end a friendship?", "Will this piss off a friend of a friend?" I would try the whole secret blog thing..but someone would eventually find it and then I would have months and months of whatever I was feeling hitting me at once after they read through the whole thing and I yet again got bit in the ass for being to honest. I understand that harshness accomplishes nothing..but this is where I put things down. I understand that a private forum may be better..but ya know what? Maybe I don't want these feelings to be so fucking private. If I want to put out what I think about whatever I am thinking about...that's what I'll do. Writing them in a journal and shoving it under the mattress is just fooling yourself. The universe isn't listening to that..not unless you let the universe read it. So you know what? Read away. Welcome to Eric Uncensored. If I lose friends or acquaintances over this..so be it. I don't need whoever they are anyway. This is not directed at any one person. I know several of you will think it is..and I just want to make it clear that this is a release of a lot of stuff. Ever since the Charlie Brown blog got me singled out and mindraped this has been building and now it's coming out. I'd think that my honesty would be a good thing. I try to be tactful..and when I am proven wrong on a subject I say so, in this very same public forum. If you disagree with something I say...that's fine. Tell me. Don't single me out and threaten me or whatever you are planning. Tell me what you think and I will tell you why I came to the conclusions I came to and we can talk it through like adults. This may be a 2:30 in the morning rant..and I may feel different in the morning...but I realized recently that this blog is no longer fulfilling it's purpose. The Universe has no idea what I'm saying or thinking..cause all my important posts are saved in draft form. I want the people I care about to know what I'm thinking..know what I'm feeling... If I say it harshly it's because I'm feeling harsh about that subject at the moment. The next day I very well may reword the statement..but I will rarely remove it from the post. That's how I was feeling..and that's valid. Deal with it. I'll blog later..and it wll be lighter..what with all this off my chest.

Eric's First Picturepost

My parent's got me a digital camera for Christmas so now you get to see my life as well as read about it. I am sure this will lose it's new eventually..but until then...bear with me.

Blot gaurding his new plushie candycane. (Which five minutes later he consumed.)

Sam gaurding his running mouse...of which he is terrified.

Six getting in on the fun and sitting pretty for the camera.

Now onto the Macy's Parade

Me in most of my friends nightmares.

The beautiful Sandi. Ahh...lets sigh a moment.

Me and Trace...clowning around.

I think that's it for the moment. Only have a 16 mb memory stick..so I can't save many pics. I'll post more later.

Perpetual Weekday

So I am in the Macy's flow. It is constantly somewhere around Wednesday. The week has definetly started, it's not over tomorrow, and I'm tired. It's not a bad thing..just a little..wierd. I always have to ask myself what day it is...and more times than not..I have to ask someone else what day it is. Scrooge is over. It was fun. Alyson and I look....eerily in love...on screen. I can't help it...it's wierd. I kissed Alyson...while doing it..not an issue at all...while watching it...it's like "Wait a minute...those are our lips..and they are touching..and it looks like we are enjoying it." Wierded out. We made brownie in a cup..which was a big hit..probably mostly due to the fact that anyone who eats it experiences instant chocolate overload and will most likely be struck down by diabetes sometime next tuesday. That's all that's going on in my life really. Met some nice people in the parade...several of them I am going to make a conscious effort to get to know better in the next few days...Into The Woods is going to be fantastic..exspecially if Chuck gets to do the set he wants to...it sounds amazing..as usual. That man is a genius. Give him some styrofoam and he can give you anything...anything at all. Anyway..that's about it. Rollerblading is fun. I am thinking about taking it up as a hobby. It's a good excercise...except for the week ankles and the falling. But atleast on a normal rollerblading outting I wouldn't have to wear the clown makeup. By the way..if you see me..the make-up does make me feel like a kid again...mostly cause of the thrusting me back into puberty by causing huge acne breakouts all over my face...well not all over..just in two eyebrow patches above my eyes, two triangles under my eyes...and around my mouth(which is pretty much constantly a redish hue from the oversized smile that never seems to totally wash off.). Oh well. I'll blog more later.

Of Chicken Soup, Macy's Parade, and Smallville

So this week has been pretty busy. Most of it is a blur so I won't bore you with the inaccuarate details of it all. I am a rollerblader in the Macy's parade and I am having a blast. I haven't fallen yet..not even once...and I am actually getting pretty decent. The cobblestone section of the parade route is kinda....tedious..but otherwise..fun. Today I came back to Tracy's afterwards and we ate some homemade chicken noodle soup and watched the episode of Smallville that we missed. It was good. Not great..but good. That Lex...always being evil. Umm...yeah..that probably all that's going on. Scrooge is still going on..it's good. Kinda lost that trill of new show...but still good. I am going to be housesitting the latter half of December and the beginning of January..fun times. That's all I gots. Blog later.

Old People's Theater

"That was wonderful. I don't know why we are here but it was wonderful....oh! Like the pie...would of been better with real sugar but that Splenda is something else. Did you see that boy with the ears? He was amazing. Oh look...cookies. These cookies are a little dry. The cookies at the home are wonderful." That was the extent of the conversation at the theater by the elderly women's club that rented us out at 2 p.m. today. It was....entertianing...I suppose. I'll blog later.

Why Am I Incapable Of Rational Thought And Action?

So I just got in from the Jaws party. Glad I saw them..not so glad I went. Three of my biggest crushes ever...one with a date and the other two flirting with eachother constantly and eventually almost leaving together. Yeah...that's fun. I wish I could turn my liking people off. It would make life so much easier. The show is going well...first friday hell weekend is well on it's way. 2 shows tomorrow. Joy and rapture...but mostly just a pain in my ass.
Eric's Comment of The Night: They really should bottle this awkwardness that comes out of me....Calvin Kline could make a killing
I'll blog later.

Has Eric Finally Learned His Lesson...We Will See

So I am really pissed off at a couple people right now...and I want to blog it all..but I can't..cause it would get out to everyone and their brother and then people would get hurt and I would be left with fingers pointed at me. So I typed it all on my computer...an incredibly angry rant of what I would have said had I realized what was going on. It will stay here. I may let others read it...but only a select few and that's a huge maybe. So what I will say here is that Into the Woods is going beautifully. There have been some cast changes...but none we can't handle and a few that I welcome. My hair is a beautiful brown with a hint of red...It's nice. Don't ever ask me to try to find this color again..but it's nice. I'll blog later.