Are My Insecurities Showing?

OK...so we will start by going over a dream that I recently had. It was bizzare and disturbing. All of my friends (Lu Lu, Billy, Jen, Cindi, and Erika) along with a couple of people who aren't really my friends (Nathan and Amber) and even a guy I don't even know go to a club. I don't really like clubs but I was still really excited to go. On the way there Lu Lu explains that the only way you can get in is if the bouncer deems you worthy. There are two doors. One door the bouncer looks at you and determines whether or not to award you entrance based on your looks. The other door based on your talent. We go to the first door which happens to be the looks door and I am a the end of my group of friends. Everyone gets in but me. But being that I didn't get in we all go to the other door. Then we get to the other door and everyone gets in except for me again. But this time, everyone goes in and has a good time and leaves me standing outside. I wait and wait and wait...but no one ever comes out of the door so I walk around to the other door and assk if the people I came with had come out there. The bouncer said he didn't remember me. So I walked around to the front of the building and just kinda fell on my back in the middle of the side walk. The last thing I saw was a huge sign on the front of the club. The name of the club was Life. Then I woke up. Wierd dream. Definetly some of my insecurities creeping out. Then yesterday Lu Lu and I went to Moonlight to see "A Midsummer Nights Dream". It was good. Alex did an amazing job for his age playing Puck. Billy was a great Peter Quince..true Club worthy talent. Cindi was beautiful and performed BOTH of her roles like a pro in a place where direction is determined by a compus. Jen...well...Jen was her normal amazing actress self. Kyle did a really good job with his part too. The uncomfortable part of the evening was the people who run the theater. Now I admit this may be all in my mind...but I felt almost...unwelcome. I walked in and everyone kinda mumbled there hellos and stayed in their seats. Lu Lu walked in and everyone jumped up and gave her a huge hug and asked her how she had been. It just hurt. But that's over. I hae physical therapy. I'll blog more later tonight.

Another Encore!, Another Moving Experience

These people never cease to amaze me. The show last night was amazing. I did enjoy the last show more than this one, but that is due only to the style of music. This was definetly the best patriotic/gospel pop concert I have ever been to. I went with Billy and Cindi...ended up meeting Kyle and his girlfriend Katie there so we all stayed together, me brandishing my scar occasionally for cringes and once...even a scream. Lu Lu did an amazing job on the piano..and keyboard. If I could play even a millionth as good as her I'd be happy. And then on top of playing amazingly..she still managed to get a laugh from the crowd atleast once during the night. Truly an amazing performer. My friend Debbbie Sussman wsa a precussionist...I didn't even know she knew how to play precussion. She did an amazing job. I saw Matt-Linus sing, and Josh E/C stole the show...proving Lu Lu's point that whereas I have heard him sing...I've never actually HEARD him sing. And then on top that all of that...Clay directing it all. I really can't wait to be part of that whole experience. Anyone who reads this who hasn't already seen the show that can see the show...should. Amazing, moving, patriotic good time...and for a good cause. I spoke to Clay after the show and told him that I ended up having my knee surgery the day of auditions and that is why I didn't audition...and he told me not to worry about it...and that if anythign like that happens again..just call him and it will all be taken care of. I keep meeting and getting a decent feedback from all of these talented people that I meeting through Lu Lu....kinda makes me think I might be talented too. We will see. Off to breakfast with my mother's neuroses(sp?) and my 7 year old cousin's Power Rangers, and my Aunt's...wonderful Auntliness...and then...TO THERAPY!

Eric In Orlando AND Quest For Ice

So I am staying in Orlando for the rest of the week to help watch after my cousin Tristan. He is 7 and being that school is cancelled but the rest of the world is still going on he needs someone to watch him. So here I am, being here, but not really doing much because he is a pretty self-sufficient kinda kid. I cook him meals and stay out of his way mostly. Little stuff like making sure he takes a bath and stuff is pretty much the extent of the babysitting that I have to do. My cousin Dawn and I spent ALL day yesterday looking for ice. We drove all the wy from UCF area to Clermont/Ferndale, ending in us stealing ice from my mother and my grandmother's freezers. Well...less stealing and more borrowing with no intent to return. I wasn't a bad day all in all...lots of driving around looking at damaged places. It is really strange that I sat and played Super Mario Sunshine, not really even worrying about the storm, while other people lost everything they ever worked for in the blink of an eye. The wierdest thing is seeing trees that withstood the force of the winds but have been bent into a shape that makes them look like the wind is still blowing just as hard. Anyway...I am just grateful that everyone I know is allright....with minimal damage. My family and I just keep countering complaints with well atleast you still have...whatever. (i.e. "My freezer is a mess." "Well atleast you still have a freezer to clean up.") Lu Lu called me today...it always seems to put a smile on my face when I get to talk to her for a few minutes. She has really great news...which I am sure she will blog about soon...so keep checking her blog. I woudl tell you guys...but I don't want to give away her great news. REALLY PROUD OF HER! Jen has gone back to Gainsville. That just feels strange cause I didn't see her at all since the surgery...so I feel like I missed out on a major portion of the summer. No word from the Jaws gang on when we are getting together for another...get together. Billy and I are planning on going to see Alien vs Predator Wednesday night and I am hoping and get to go and see the Encore show Thursday. And it looks like I will get to see the much talked about Midsummer preformance at Moonlight this sunday. I'll blog later.

Bonnie and...Charley? Anti-T.V. meterologist morons...

So last night was relatively uneventful. I went to my grandmother's house after running around like a chicken with my head cut off all day long. My brother and I hooked up PS2 and Gamecube on seperate T.V's and I made a big pot of chili. Then we all settled in. Just as we were getting into the video games we rented the power went off. My dad went out and cranked up the generator. So how did I spend hurricane Charley? Playing Super Mario Sunshine..That's right...Super Mario Sunshine. The storm was all over with at around....1..or so...and my brother and I packed up and drove home. Then I woke up this morning to find my knee swollen to about twice it's normal size..and VERY stiff. I couldn't go to Melissa's reception..I hope everything went well. All the damage that has been reported through my friends and family is at my Aunt's house. A tree branch went through the back glass of her car, her fence was uprooted and distributed around the neighborhood, and atleast one tree is no longer in the upright position. Other than that..everything seems good. My knee has loosened up and deminished in size..so things are going ok. Blog later

Filled with Humor and....general....Ericness

So the last couple of days have been...days. I went to physical therapy for the first time since the surgery yesterday. Caught up with Erin...my beautiful physical therapist (If your out there. Thanks Dawn, even if she isn't interested, having her as my therapist numbs the therapy part a little bit.) , got a bunch of exercises I have to do daily. Then I came home and Billy called. We went and hung out with a bunch of Jaws people at Mike's house. It was a blast. Met this really cute girl for the second time. She has been introduced once before, at that stupid safety meeting I had to go to a while back...she is really cute. We kinda...caught eyes a couple of times from across the room...talked a little but not much. Next time..I talk more. Then Billy and I left, only seeing half of Kill Bill Vol. 2. I took him home and talked to the family a few minutes..then back to Casa Diablo. The AC was broken...so...fun times. Then today I just pretty much sat around..trying to turn off my body heater. IT WAS LIKE 4000 in here. My dad fixed the AC and it worked for all of...2 hours after he left. He is living with my grandmother now..coming home once every 2 or 3 days. NOT FUN. I go back to physical therapy tomorrow. I have made progress in the last day though...My knee bends at almost a 90 with minimal pain. It's nice. On a side note...I gave my number to like everyone at Jaws so they can call when they are going out...I hope she's there next time.

On Bended Knee

So the last couple of days have been fun and interesting. I can bend my knee...but not as much as I want to..and when I bend it as much as I physically can..my body gets mad at me and tells me so the next day. So I got the brace off on Thursday...Friday I kinda took it easy..but then Saturday...I went to Universal and parked far far away and walked to to JAWS and said hey to everyone..then walked back. Then I went to the McCoy's house and delivered my thank you card for sitting there with me for hours on end and just basically being all around good people. Then I went to lunch with my parent's and walked around an Office Max for like an hour looking for school supplies for my little brother. Then I almost couldn't stand...so my dad dropped me off at my car and I drove home. Then on Sunday I, Like the idiot I am, over worked my knee...but I did have a lot of fun. Erika and I saw "The Bourne Supremecy". There was pretty much NO plot, the camera work was awful, but all in all...not UNenjoyable. Then we walked around the mall until about 4:30 because the Atlantic Ocean had decided to relocate itself to directly over the West Oaks Mall. Being that I can't run at all, much less in the rain...we stuck around. We went to Ruby Tuesdays and talked and ate, it was good times. I called Billy and he met us at the mall at about 5:45 and then he and I went back to Ruby Tuesdays and I had dessert while he ate dinner. It was fun. Then we went and saw "The Village". Great Movie. Very...thinkie. Then we went our seperate ways...Billy to his home, me to mine. Tiredness was setting in for both of us. I came home..and passed out..but apparently didn't rest well because I fell asleep several times today, in the middle of normal everyday activities...like internet surfing, game playing, and TV watching. OK, so not EVERYONE's normal everyday activities...but definetly the normal everday activities of a 22 year old who has recently found himself temporarily crippled. Physical Therapy starts tomorrow with my evaluation. Good, Good fun times. I hope to get a haircut and maybe hang with Billy for a while..but we will see if tomorrow holds those events for me. Blog later

Eric's Birthday

Not the worst birthday..not the best birthday ever. I spent the majority of the day running around with my Aunt. It was fun. We got my car washed, filled it up with gas, picked her car up from the mechanic, and ate at Sonny's. With yet another trainee waitress. Then I drove home. Didn't get my physical therapy scheduled. But that's ok...I'll get it soon. Then I came home and played some Mega Man. Then I went to my grandmothers and we all ate some pizza. It was a good time. There is supposedly a present that my parents are talking about getting me but they aren't sure. My mom put my dad on the spot about it and he said that he hadn't had time to look into it and that was the end of it. No idea what it is...well there is an idea...might be a CD burner..but I am not sure. Now I sit at my parent's house, knee unbraced, watching Celebrity Poker. It is a good night. Blog later THE BRACE COMES OFF IN NEGATIVE ONE DAY! COUNT IT NEGATIVE ONE DAY!

Leg Mobility Is Closer To Being Mine

Well I went to the doctor today and he removed the brace on a kinda temporary/permanent basis. I don't have to wear it unless I go out in public and feel wobbly. Basically I just have to be REALLY careful because if I fall now, that's it...new surgery...no questions asked. My knee feels really wierd. No pain really...just REALLY tight...really really tight...and weak. But good all in all. I can't bend it at a 90 yet...that will take a few trips to physical therapy. Which turns out, I can't take at my doctor's office. For some reason my insurance pays for my doctor's services but will not pay for physical therapy at his office. WIERD. So I am going to try to go to my old physical therapist. Why try to build a whole new relationship with a therapist over a 6 week period when I already went through 3 months with another one. The doc told me I can start living my life again. He said, "No running in the rain. That's bad." that was pretty much his only piece of advice. I asked if I could do Halloween, he said, "no problem." I asked if I could ride roller coasters, he said, "You can start doing what you want to do again." I just have to careful. My Aunt and I went out and gourged ourselves at Olive Garden. Good times. Then we went and ran a few errands and I listened to LOTS OF MUSIC..missed it. Then we came home for a few and then my cousin Dawn picked us up. We went and rented some movies. Dickie Roberts Child Star, Gothika, HellBoy, and Tristan got Small Soldiers. So far everything I have seen was good. Haven't watched Gothika yet. Then we went to dinner but my Aunt and I just had dessert while Dawn and Tristan had appetizers. Both places we went today we had REALLY terrible service. Olive Garden I ordered Chicken Parmesan and got Soup/Salad/Breadsticks. Red Lobster we were there 45 minutes and all we did was eat appetizers and desserts. Then we came home and started watching movies. I slept through Hellboy...seen it once and I guess not having that brace on is what my body has been waiting for to sleep...for 2 hours...now I am wide awake...whatever. That's pretty much it. I am trying to start my physical therapy today..my birhday...good times. I will blog about the Eric Birthday Unbash tomorrow. later

It's Back

My laptop is finally back home. It took 2 weeks, 400 million calls, and Billy and I driving over to my old apartment and getting it..but it's finally back. Now I am goingg to use it a lot. So Billy came over today and took me over to my old apartment for the computer getting. Then we went to Chili's for lunch. It was fun. Listened to music, talked to the Jen on the phone, went to Target to get a Thank You card for the McCoys, and then we came home. Fun times. Billy got in a couple games of Mega Man collection before he left. (that was the gift my little brother gave me) Then he went off to rehearsal. Good times. My Aunt called and I am going to spend the night over there tomorrow night to help her out..and to help me out a little..we don't know what my leg is going to feel like tomtorrow. If everything goes as planned I am going to drive home Friday and everything will be just fine. I had to postpone mine and Carrie's tradition for a few nights. Dad came home for the night. That's pretty much it. BRACE COMES OFF TOMORROW!!!

And yet again the universe has given me a sharp kick in the groin and laughed as it walked away.....

It has been a long couple of days. My grandmother came home from the nursing home because they are incompitent morons and didn't give her nitro glycerin as directed when she was having severe chest pains. My father has moved out and is living with her to help take care of her. He is only coming home to shower and to eat....sometimes. My mother is on the verge of nervous break down (being bi-polar...it doesn't take much). My brother starts school Thursday and is generally just being annoying(could be the walls closing in and talking to me as they get ever closer). AND my laptop is missing in action. I wrote Dell an email after waiting TWICE the expected wait time on recieving my laptop. They wrote me back and told me that it had already been delivered to me and gave me a tracking number I already had. You know why I already had it? BECAUSE IT WAS THE TRACKING NUMBER OF THE EMPTY BOX THEY SENT ME TO PUT MY LAPTOP IN IN THE FIRST PLACE! Anyway...I called the shipping company, which had forged my signature on the delievry and tossed it over the fence, and they actually were very helpful...except there was no way they could help. So I wrote Dell back and am waiting on a response. I WANT MY LAPTOP NOW! They better hurry it up. BRACE COMES OFF IN 2 DAYS! COUNT THEM WEDNESDAY-1, THURSDAY-2. Billy is supposed to come over tomorrow and help me get through the day, my Aunt is coming over Thursday to take me out to lunch for my birthday and then go to the doctor, and Carrie has requested to take me out to dinner on Thursday for my birthday. (Her's was yesterday and we started a tradition like...last year where she takes me out to dinner and I graciously accept and say, "Next time's on me.") So my next couple of days are atleast full. THEN LEG FREEDOM IS MINE! IT'S ALL MINE! I hope.

Sleepless Night Ramblings

PLEASE DEAR GOD LET THIS ALMOST BE OVER! I hate this brace. I hate this life of sitting here in my parent's house and doing nothing but being a burden and a vocal punching bag for their plans and expectations for me. I hate laying awake all night because I can't get comfortable and my body has gone in a revolt against sleep. I hate not seeing my friends. I hate not talking to my friends weekly, let alone daily. I hate not working. I hate feeling relatively fine but being confined by Doctor's Orders. I hate hating all of these things even though I know that they are what is best for me in most cases. 5 days left.