Freaking Pain In The Ass BBQ

So I got up at 7 to start BBQing for my cast at HHN. Took me 2 hours to get the fire up to standards in the smokers...then I was talking to my father and he told me there was no way the meat was going to be done in time on the smokers...so I had to build a new fire on the main pit. Built a roaring fire on there and transfered the meet over to that pit at about 11:45. It should be fine..just a busy morning. 6 sets at Halloween tonight is going to drain me to the bottom of my reserves...luckily I have people to talk to on the way home. Into The Woods readthroughs are tomorrow morning at 10 a.m...I'll be there..in some form. Probably in pajama's...and drooling slightly from exhaustion but that's ok. I am excited about getting started on that show. However I doubt very seriously that I will be hitting any "Giants In The Sky" caliber notes that morning. The people who haven't heard me sing will just have to go on faith that I can do it. I am missing Charlie Brown rehearsals. I have grown to love this version of Schroeder too as I said I would. I enjoy my time as a 6 year old. It's fun. I'll blog later...gotta keep an eye on the fire.

No, I Have A Penis, That Was Sunday's Point Of Ridicule

So it's been a long week. Sunday I finally got to be a Checkerboard. It was fun. Except for the tight pants that made my package...well...incredibly visible. Then on Wednesday at rehearsal the director said I throw like someone with a vagina. OK PEOPLE! Which is it? Penis or vagina? I know what I have..but if everyone else makes up their mind I think the world will be...THE SAME! Move on. Tonight I was a blizzard boy at HHN..I yelled a lot. Told a kid I lived under his bed...he started crying..ah the joy. Now Charlie Brown opens on November 11th. Friday at 8, Saturday at 2 and 8, Sunday at 2 for 2 weeks. COME TO THE SHOW...if you want....to stay on my good side...which isn't particularly nice most of the time..so..imagine the bad side. Just kidding..come if you want...don't if you don't want. Whatever. It's gonna be good though. I'll blog later.

Commence With The Bloglin!

So last night was fun at Halloween Horror Nights. I was in the water mole room with Billy and we came up with out own code words. At one point he pointed out this woman who was shaking and saying things to herself and near tears and yelled, "Eric! That eggs about to crack." and I jumped out and brought her to her knees crying. Then I came back into the room and said, "I think I just made an omelette!" This is only one of our exchanges...and they are hilarious...cause no one could hear us. It was fun. I am over at his place now and we going to go run some errands and get some lunch..and I am going to have a talk that needs to be had...one way or another. Halloween is still very fun....Macy's is shaping up though. I'll probably be walking stilts or coordinating. Anyway...I'm gonna go and I will blog later.

Disturbed Sleep

I had a really disturbing dream last night. Woke up at 6:00 a.m. and didn't fall back asleep for half an hour cause I was thinking that maybe someone was in my house. I was in a house...really messy. Filled with books and computers. I found a peanuts comic book and read it but it was all about snoopy for some reason..no Schroeder...and I couldn't get the lights to turn on right...they just kept flickering. This guy showed me a secret level on Doom...and it showed you a movie trailer or something. Then I went outside and some girl pinned me to the ground and tried to gouge my eyes out with her fingers and that's when I woke up..when she was trying to pulled my eye out. It was really intense. That's just the bits that I remember. Anyway..Halloweeen Horror Nights is still good. We are having fun. I had a lot of fun with the A cast last night. I missed them last week when I kept getting stuck with the B cast. I'm having internal conflict about the guy who may have been flirting with me. I promised I wouldn't persue anything cause it may make things awkward for...others. But I'm thinking I may have to just ask if he's at all interested in hanging out outside of work. Just so that if he says no I can crush the crushlet before it becomes a full blown crush. If he says yes it can develop at normal pace without any worry. Computer is being annoying. I'll blog more later.

Blogging At Tracy's

So I am here at Tracy's waiting for the play selection meeting to begin. It will be an interesting experience being part of the selection process for Moonlight. Then I can see what shows they could have done but chose not to. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad. The excitement of Jack is seeping in. Billy accepted the part...so I am excited that we will be able to work together. Ate at Steak N Shake...had a Dark Chococlate Fudge shake...OH GOD YES! That was so freaking good. Killed my tenor range for a few hours atleast..but it was worth it. I'll blog later.

Cleaning Habits Of A Trailer Trash Refugee

That made sense in my head. It's 2:25 and I have just finished doing the dishes, washing and folding all my clothes, and concidering sweeping and mopping the floors. This trailer is disgusting. If the lights worked in the living room/dining room I would go and clean that up...cause that's the worst of it. But they don't...and I don't care how messy it is...I'm not cleaning by flashlight at 2:30 a.m. So the whole cast has yet to be announced. I want to know the rest. Billy has yet to accept or decline the role. Charlie Brown rehearsals continue. More on that later. I did get to see my Schroeder costume..and I guess I am Schroeder as Billy and Tracy pointed out several times. I have almost the exact same outfit. It's wierd really. I mean we aren't going with the purple cause apparently they couldn't find the purple and black shirt and black shorts that he wears in the comic and movie. So they went with blues. It's wierd..but it will work. I'll blog later

Jack Conflicted

Ok...let me start this blog by saying that I am not as melodramatic as my post yesterday. It just caught me off gaurd. The last place I expected to run into that situation was at Moonlight. Now onto the current. Into The Woods auditions went well tonight. I found out part of the cast. I am Jack, Tracy is Baker's Wife, Alyson is Witch, Nathan is Repunzel's Prince, Kyle is Cinderella's Prince, Amber is Snow White/Stage Manager, Tom is Mysterious Man/Narrator, and Billy was offered Cinderella's Father/Wolf. My conflict is as follows. I was exstatic about Jack for about 45 minutes. I was sure that Billy was going to get Baker and now that I know that he isn't..I feel his pain and my own. The true joy that was building about this show wasn't entirely about the part...it was about the people. I know that if Jan cast someone else she has her reasons. She saw something in whoever that she missed in Billy. I know this must be the case. Whatever it may be...I don't know. I was just blindsided by him not getting that part cause in my mind..it was his. Just like Alyson, Nathan, Kyle, and Tom. I was sure that was the parts that they were going to get. I can honestly say I am not as excited about doing this show with another Baker. I mean I am still happy I got Jack. Don't get me wrong..I was suprised. But without my best friend there beside me I am not as thrilled. That is my post for this evening...in hopes that sleep will show itself. I'll blog later.

Getting It Off My Chest

So here's what is going on. A while back...probably three weeks I confessed my attraction to this guy at Icehouse. I had been attracted to him for a while...well I ended up working one weekend of Evita and I figured..."ah, what the heck. I'll go for it.". So we all went to the Frosty Mug and I told him I was interested in him..and he told me he was interested in me. There was a lot of talking about relationships, and wanting relationships, and past relationships, and how we were feeling that we weren't going to meet anyone. Then we walked around Mt. Dora some and there was a kiss or two. He came home with me and we both fell asleep. Pretty innocent. Pretty tame. The next morning we woke up and one of the first things he said to me was "I can't do this.". I just wanted to ask, "You can't do what? Get to close? Feel something? Be in a relationship?" But I didn't...I played it cool. I said, "That's fine. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'll give you my number and you can call if you want." Then that night at the show we totally avoided eachother for the whole first act. During intermission I bit the bullet and went over to him and said hey. He then uttered those time honored words that usually translate to "You won't be seeing much of me after today...and when you do...it will be awkward as all hell." I am of course talking about "We Need To Talk" I hate those words. Anyway...He told me about how his friend had been trying to get ahold of him all night because he had had an emergency and couldn't and he needed to deal with his life right now and all that stuff. I continued to play the cool guy role...and said that was fine. And he said he did want to keep in touch with me and I said great. he said I'll give you my number after the show...I said great. Then I went back to to do the show. Then after the show..he vanished..and I didn't see him or hear from him again until tonight at auditions. I know it sounds stupid and melodramatic...but I really like him....and everything is just kinda....there...and I have a really hard time just letting go. That is what's bothering me. I was sure we wanted the same thing....and I was sure that it was going to happen..and it didn't...but was left with a window of possibility. But I don't want a window of possibility..I want reality. So tonight he shows up at auditions and I waited a few minutes...then I went back and sat next to him and said hey. It was awkaward. I was hoping for a "Sorry I didn't call you, I've been busy."..any kind of excuse or even just a "I had to go right after the show and I forgot to give you my number...here"...I don't care..but all I got awkward conversation about how he wasn't going to auditoin and decided to last minute. How his show is going kinda ok. It was just painful. I guess I just expected to much. Fine...I'm greedy...fine I'm selfish...fine I'm melodramatic(that one I know is accurate...look at this freaking blog.)...but that's me. And I'm still hurting.

Emotional Gravity

Into The Woods auditions went really well tonight. It's pretty stiff competition. The guys were all REALLY good. Everyone said I did really well..but everyone always says that. It's totally up to Jan to decide whether or not I am charismatic and I can carry a part or not. I ended up singing "Dancing Through Life" from Wicked. Everyone said it was wonderful. Then the director decided to have us read from Urinetown. I got to read for Bobby Strong. It was a blast. Anyway...I'm going to go. I'm dealing with some stuff right now. Someone showed up at auditions...someone I like a lot...a whole lot...and I don't have closure...and that bothers me. The problem is...I fall hard..and I fall fast. Hence the title of this blog. Anyway...I'll be fine. Just tired of being alone. I close with lyrics by John Mayer.

Love Song for No One
staying home alone on a Friday
flat on the floor looking back
on old love
or lack thereof

after all the crushes have faded
and all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

searching all my days just to find you
not sure what I'm looking for
I'll know where
when I see you

until then I'll hide in my bedroom
staying up all night just to write
a love song
for no one

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

you'll be so good
you'll be so good for me
I know you'll be so good
for me
for me

I Wonder If White Statues Bleed Red

So last night I got to be a B cast white statue. It was fun. Discovered that two casts have totally different feels to them. Cast A is creepy scary, cast B is crazy scary. After talking to the performance captain I found that each cast got have the message. We are supposed to be crazy, creepy, scary. Anyway. I had a good time...sort of. They are really nice. They haven't bonded as much as Cast A though. Several of them did come up and say there were really glad that I was going to be in their cast. 2 of them even referred to me as the "King of Halloween". It was kinda fun being Halloween Celebrity. Then one of the White Statues I Was working with decided to give me notes. "I was watching you last set and you need to make some changes." That is what he said to me. Then continued with the changes. Things like..don't go for a double scare. Well I swallowed hard and said "Thank You". I later told my ASM and she said that that was the right thing to do anyway he was WAY out of line. She was like "You're a swing for a reason. It's cause you know what you are doing and can do anything in this house." That was good. Anyway...after observing one of his sets...I realized what his problem was. The way that the 4 lights work in the room work is like this. Each one pulses gently one at time around the room and then they all go super bright for one pulse all together. Well he only scares during that super pulse. That is why he had something to say to me...cause I was scaring EVERYONE and he was scaring every 5th pulse. Anyway...I had fun none the less. Alyson, Travis, Amber, and Travis' sister came through the house. I scared them...but I apparently look oddly attractive painted all white with cracks in my face. I'll blog later.

No I Wasn't Flirting With Him, But I Did Break Someone's Fingers

All true..well..the last part anyway. I very well may have been flirting with him. When did I become flirtatious? I never flirted before...I didn't know how. I guess being an actor...I learned. Apparently he was flirting with me. I didn't notice. I still get very low self-esteemy sometimes about that. Tonight was a self esteem booster though. My Stage Manager told me he almost pulled me to be a coordinator this year for Halloween but didn't cause he knew how much I loved beiong a scareactor, then I found out that most of entertainment is trying to get me to be a coordinator, then my Assistant Stage Manager told me that I AM Charismatic and laughed at the thought that someone thought I wasn't, then an attractive person was apparently hitting on me. Hmmm, It hasn't been such a bad day after all. Happiness is anyone and anything at all that's loved by you. I don't care what you think about the show...that's a great message. Now I think I am going to go and sleep so I can rejuvinate before tomorrow when I have to go to the bank and get money, clean my car, return some rentals, do some laundry, and finish off the night scaring people with a 2x4 in a dark,foggy, windy room. I'll blog later.

Please Everyone?!?! Try Anyone...

Tonight I was a White Statue at Halloween Horror Nights. It was SOOOOO much fun. One of the best roles I have done so far. It was like being in the streets again. I loved it. So if one more person says I am too thin I am going to scream. 2 years ago I was overweight and everyone couldn't tell me enough..now I am skinny..not underweight...still not in great shape but everyone still can't get enough of telling me that I am too skinny now. I am 6 ft tall and I weight 160 lbs. That's not underweight. I do not agree with medical science when it says that I could lose another 5 lbs before I was at the ideal weight for my height....but I am happy with my current size. I want to bulk up, build some muscle, get somewhat cut..but I do not want to lose more weight. Now onto the whole, people calling me a slut issue, (no Billy it's not just you, and this isn't even directed at you, you just happened to be the most recent of the Eric's a slut proclaimers, and I know it wasn't said to be hurtful or anything, and it really wasn't..just stating the facts.) I, for the first time in my life, am occasionally having intimate moments with people, I get caught up in it and hope that more will come of it. I know I have to slow down, I know that a kiss on the night that I tell someone I am interested might be a little fast..I know these things. I am not saying that I want you to stop caring, I am not saying I want you to stop voicing your concerns. It's great that you have all found someone, that you are all blissfully happy. My lifestyle at the moment just isn't working that way. Every single time I have "gotten myself into trouble", as I have recently reffered to it, it truly was with intent of a relationship of some sort to form. It however was not in the cards. I want to be happy, I see the pattern, I just don't care at the moment...and I am happy. This is truly just venting after a long night of scaring the crap out of people. I am not upset, I am not angry, I am not even mildly irritated. Just venting what I am feeling at the moment. Which is what I do on this blog..as stated previously. I will not however be posting again in a few days, weeks, months or whatever to explain this post. So no one post angry comments.

K, This Is Getting Ridiculous

So here's something I cooked that was really good. I call it Chicken Parmesan Quesadilla's. It's a chicken breast baked in the oven with an italian bread crumb crust. Then chopped and put inside a quesadilla with some mozzerella and parmesan cheese. Now the one I made the other day as a trial had no sauce...I dipped it in spagetti sauce. It was good. Tweeks are going to have to happen before it is restaurant worthy...but it is good. I'm thinking about adding some sauce, basil and oregano to the actual quesadilla. Anyway...you fry the tortillas for a few seconds until crispy on both sides. Put the cheese, chicken, and sauce(optional) inside and then pop it in the oven at 350 until it cheese is melted and everything is heated through. I enjoyed it. Alyson you can leave the chicken out and it would still have a very italian taste with the mozzerella and parmesan rather than the normal fontina and monterey jack that is in quesadillas. And that is Eric's Cooking Corner. I'll blog later...like...45 minutes from now at the rate I am going.

DOUBLE BLOG!?!?!?

I would just like to say for all those out there who are tired of "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown" that you do not have to come to the show if you do not want to. You will however have 100 cool points deducted from your account. You will also be missing out on some quality Eric, Billy, Tracy, and Andrew comedy with special guests Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty. Account balances are listed below.

Alyson- 400 cool points
Lu Lu - 350 cool points
Jennifer-300 cool points
Sarah- 500 cool points
Sarah F- 450 cool points
Joel- 600 cool points
Amanda- 437 cool points
Lynne- 754 cool points
Gerard- 400 cool points

Please do not overdraw your account or there will be reprecussions.

Evil Rainbow Scvoils Attack!

Sorry I haven't blogged lately. I just feel limited as to what I can blog as of late. Things will get better I am sure. Scrooge is going well from what I can tell. YAGMCB is moving along. We are off book...mostly. Rehearsal got cancelled tonight so I went to check in with my Moonlight peoples. I will be more open with my blog somewhere around mid November until then it's all rainbows and kittens I guess. So...this is for Blog supporters everywhere. Today it was exactly 76 degrees all day long and it only rained when I was inside. There were puppies and kittens and a rainbow constructed entirely of starburst and skittles. A creditor called me today and told me not to worry about paying off my debt, he understood and he would take care of it. I found 50 bucks in my shoe and someone waved me through a toll booth. Then I got home and Blot met me at the door with a gentle lick and a newspaper that consisted entirely of the funnies. I had hot chocolate and ice cream before bed and I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. Ahh...life is good. I'll blog later.

Because I Can't....

::Shakes fist at the sky weakly::

Heavy Chest

There are many things I would like to say right now but fear has robbed me of my outlet. I am truly sorry that the things I said in my previous entry about "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown" hurt people's feelings. That was not my intent. I keep this blog as a reminder of how I felt on the day that I wrote it. My entries are what has upset me, what I am happy about, or just incoherent ramblings about nothing in particular at times. Even when I typed those things I didn't mean for them to be hurtful to anyone because I forget that people even read these. When I type these it is to get whatever is on my chest off of it and go from there. And even so, isn't it better that what I wrote is exactly as I set it down the day after auditions. Totally untampered with, without constant revisions through a twisted game of telephone. Those words are there for me to eat...every single one of them..exactly as I wrote them. I understand that people like face to face interaction, but this truly was never to go farther than off my chest and into my blog to be filed away and revisited later, most likely followed by me seeing it as a childish thing to get so worked up about.

As far as the things I said about the musical director, director, and Charlie Brown. The things that I said were totally pieced together through things I had heard and put together on my own. I made assumptions about why Charlie got the part and posted them on my blog, yet again for my own personal storage, yet again forgetting that this is a public forum. After a week of rehearsals I can see that the director is molding the character in the way she sees fit and she cast the show the way she saw fit. Yet again I am sorry for hurt feelings, this was in no way my intent. Quite frankly if I was out to hurt feelings there are much more sure-fire ways of doing so than posting a rant in my blog on the net and I am lazy...and therefore much more direct about these things.

Now onto the original show vs. the revival. I reffered to the show several times in my past entries as crappy. I understand why we are not doing the revival. Financial issues, rights issues, performance space issues, not to mention orchestration. Let me revise my statement to say the following. In relation to, AND ONLY IN RELATION TO, the revival...the original show is lacking. As a stand alone show...the orignal is very well written, the music is really good, and the characters are very true to the peanuts comic. The only reason I hold a special place in my heart for the revival is the fact that I have seen it quite a few times in the past year and I own the CD. That is the show I know and it is wonderful. Yet again..I repeat..I understand why we aren't doing it. It just isn't within our capabilites in our current space with our current financial means. A really well done original will be better than a lacking revival due to the lack of means.

Also I would like to say that I do not think Schroeder is a bad part. I love the part. Even when I mentioned the part of Schroeder it was always in a positive way. I was learning a song to play for the part. The way I saw it in the beginning was like this. It would be like playing Romeo & Juliet but cutting the famous balcony scene. It's still a great show, but you would still miss that scene. I am a musical person...I just happened to find it much easier to relate to the revival Schroeder because of some of the amazing musical numbers they put in for him. I am finding other ways to relate to the original Schroeder, but I was originally just dissapointed that I was going to be missing out on that musical connection. I will honestly say I do like the character of Schroeder alot whether it be in the revival or the original.

Now onto what I think is the final issue for me to deal with on this entry. It has been said that I have driven a wedge between the cast..almost right down the middle. I really do not feel that this is the case. Since I posted that blog I have been to rehearsal everday and worked as hard as I can. There would obviously be a stronger bond between myself, Billy, Tracy, and Andrew...just because we have a history. I have known 2 of them since I was 15 and the other is my best friend. I am the guy who goes to a party and stands in the corner if he doesn't know anyone. I don't draw people to me. If I ever, in any way, excluded someone from any activity at rehearsal I yet again am truly sorry. I feel that I have worked hard in and outside of rehearsal. I am working on getting off book, I know most of the music, we are almost through with blocking, and any suggestions I made in regards to things we could do in the show were purely because they were things that at the time seemed like they might be a nice addition to the scene. I really feel that everything that I am saying is truthful. Since the day that I got those things off my chest I have not acted out in anyway in regards to driving the cast apart.

I wish I had been able to articulate this clearly today before rehearsal but in all honesty I was absolutely shocked and couldn't take it all in and even form complete sentences outside of "I'm sorry.", "That's how I felt, not how I feel.", and "It was for me.". Yet again I resort to the written word and I will eat every word if necessary.