Who's Wants Are These?

I can't even begin to know what I want anymore. I don't know what to do with myself. Am I going to school cause it is what is expected of me? Do I even WANT to be a chef? Do I even WANT to work with food? Do I want to be on stage? Do I want to write? I have no car, no money, a job that I am getting less and less fond of everyday, no relationship, I am unhappy with school, my family life is not good. About the only thing I have REALLY going for me right now is my health and I don't know how true that is..cause I haven't been to the doctor in a while and there could be a silent killer laying in wait just under the skin and I wouldn't know. Wouldn't be the first time...but I doubt that is the case. Miserable people don't die...miserable people live forever. It's the moment they find what they are looking for that death closes it's icy fingers around their throats. Theater has taught me well. What do I do? Other than sit here..in my dark room...face glowing in the light of my computer screen...and cry.