2 A.M. Fever-a-thon

Well..it is 2 a.m. and I have taken 2 doses of Nyquill but I can't get to sleep because I can't get my fever to break. I took a cold bath, I wrapped up in blankets, I sweated and sweated but I still didn't get the fever to break. It is standing at about 101 right now. So I am calling in to work right now...due to the fact that if I fell asleep right now...I would only get 5 hours before I had to get up and go to work...and with this fever I can't go to work tomorrow anyway. I gotta get better so i can do the show tomorrow night...THIS SUCKS. I am going to continue to try to get my fever down...It's not a big deal...if I wasn't missing work. But I am. and it sucks. My mom found out that I didn't go today...cause I told her in due to the feverish stupidity I have been in all day. She gave me a hard time..as usual. Said I should go to work...and I explained to her that at my job they would prefer you to call in rather than come in sick. ONE: It is much harder on them if you come in and have to leave cause you are sick as hell. TWO: We use mouth pieces at work on the mics that we have...well if you talk in one for 15 minutes and then pass it to another person...and you have a fever...GUESS WHAT!?!? You just passed sicky germs to your friend at work...and it gets passed to someone else and then someone else. Leaving the whole attraction sick....NOT GOOD. I am just really annoyed right now...This fever needs to break. I haven't gotten to work in 2, now 3 days, and I REALLY like my job. And I haven't gotten to see my friends in 2 days. Billy, Jen, and Lu Lu all called to check on me. The first 3 friends in my entire life to ever do that. The ones I had in High School would wait till I came back and be like, "Hey, Where ya been?" I would call and check on them when they were sick...but no such concern was taken on my part. Just goes to prove that the friends I had in High School weren't much of friends at all..Don't even speak to them anymore. The ones I have now are true friends....One's that will last more than 4 years. I'll post later with my condition.

Why Won't This Cursed Illness Leave Me?!?!

So I woke up with a temperature of 102.7 this morning...after sleeping the night away on Nyquil and sweating enough that you would think the fever would have broken. So I had to call in today as well. I am going to my parent's house this afternoon anyway...no matter how sick I am...and to rehearsal. My mom will NOT know about me calling in today. I can't take another lecture about how I need to be more respinsible and crap. I have taken another dose of Nyquil and I am going back to bed. If anyone wants to talk to me...you can try calling. If I am not in a comatose state I will answer the phone. If I don't answer....just leave a message and I will call you back when I wake up.

Another Rehearsal Missed

Well at around 4 p.m. I woke up and I was running a temperature just north of 100 degrees...so I opted to avoid going to rehearsal so that I can go to work tomorrow. I have slept most of the day and I am feeling better than I did earlier. Still running a fever. That's pretty much it. I hate being sick, but I guess it is part of life. I'll be fine though. I gotta figure out how to get my immune system built up better than this. It may just be stress, or standing in the rain all day yesterday, or whatever..I don't know. Either way I'll go back to work tomorrow, back to rehearsal tomorrow night, and to my parent's tomorrow afternoon between the two. My Mom gave me a hard time this morning about being sick. "Eric you need to take more vitamins and get yourself built up. You can't keep missing work. You have to grow up and be responsible." Why is it that people try to pick fights when you're sick? Or is it that you are hyper sensitive when you are sick and so helpful suggestions seem like fights? I don't know. But I got in a fight with my mom about it. I was like "I know Mom. This is the same conversation we have had everytime I have gotten sick since I was 15. I take more vitamins, I still get sick. I take more vitamins, I still get sick. I take more vitamins, I still get sick." Yeah..that conversation didn't end well...but none of the ones like that that we have had since I was 15 have turned out well. I think I am pretty damn responsible for a guy my age. And this is probably feverish ranting that you are reading now. I will just go watch Smallville and Angel. Then I will take some Nyquill and pass out for the night. Hopefully helping me wake up feeling much better.

Cruel Illness Leave My Lungs

So remember that gunky feeling I had in my throat last night. Well i drank some tea, took some vitamin C, took some medicine, and went to bed. Well when I woke up this morning I can't speak, I can't breath, and my chest hurts. I my friends have apparently developed a BAD chest cold in one day. FUN TIMES. I blame Stacey...she had the flu last week at work and I drove her home. DARN IT STACEY! So now I can't breath and I can't go into work. If you can't speak it is common knowledge that you call in. It sucks. But I will get better...lots of medication and wads of coughed up gunk will do me good. I hate being sick...but that's part of life. I am still planning on going to rehearsal tonight if anyone who is involved with Shakespeare is reading this and wondering. I'll be there...I have missed to many of them as it is.

All In All A Good Day

Today was a pretty good day. I worked in the rain which was not fun...but not entirely unfun. Mario, Adam, and Bowman came and saw my show at Jaws today. They are 3 of the 6 members of Halloween Horror Nights 13 Jurassic Park Zone 1 Cast A group. The other two are Nathan and Stacy..but we never see Stacy cause I am pretty sure she moved..either that or her crazy husband has her locked in a closet somewhere. ANYWAY. They saw my show..the first one's as of yet and they LOVED IT. They said it was really good. Now whether they said that cause they are my friends or if it was really that good is yet to be seen. It's wierd...they are my ONLY jock friends. Mario and Bowman that is. Adam isn't really a jock..but acts like it when he is with Mario and Bowman..but so do I to some extent. It's wierd. I walked around with them for an hour and I did feel like a jock kinda...but I also knew that as long as I was with them...I was the least attractive guy in the group. Weird feeling. Backdoored us into MIB..always fun to do. And just hung out with friends I haven't seen for a while. Then someone I knew from the theater showed up and rode my boat...Also cool. So after being there for 2 months and no one riding my boat...4 people in one day..Fun. Then we went to Carabbas Italian Grill and met Lu Lu, Erika, Cindi, and Lu Lu's friend Debbie. Lu Lu owed me a meal cause I paid for her food at Ruby Tuesday's the other day. We had a really awful waiter but really good company and good conversation. It was a great time. Then I came home and talked to Jen on the phone, walked my dog, drank some tea cause the rain seems to have left my throat kinda...gunky, and watch my dog pee on my bed. I really hate him sometimes. So now I am waiting for my sheets to dry so I can slip off into sweet, sweet sleep.

Another Day Off, Another Nothing Done

So today I spent the majority of my day trying to take care of the business of living. I got some bills paid, got another temporary tag cause mine was expired and the slackers who were supposed to fill out the paperwork for my permanent tag just did it today...a month after I got the car. OH WELL! So I drove all the way to Sanford...talking to Jen all the way. The only person who stands behind Jan and her decision to do what she did...casting wise. And I understand that's her perogative...I don't understand it..but I understand that she has the right to think that. She has some good points in her argument. Points I couldn't counter. But that is the game of life. I have accepted the part of Thesius. I will do the best I can to make it more than the guy who sits backstage for 3 hours. He will be the guy who was onstage for the best 30 minutes of the play. I am done auditioning for Jan...cause I truly feel that she has lost that special spark that I saw in her years ago. She is directing at Moonlight simply to be directing at Moonlight. The vision she had before is gone...and most of the care that went into it. It's sad...but that chapter has closed. I will continue to audition for Chris...and I plan on auditioning for Sylvia when they do Forever Plaid. I am going to broaden my horizons...move out into the great theatrical world that is Orlando and go to California with Billy this Summer. Meet his other best friends. They seem like cool people...and any friend of Billy's is a friend of mine. And hell...maybe I will like it out there and move in a year or two...try to break into...something. Still would like to look into New York. Life is full of possibilities...I just have to start looking into them and stop wasting my time taking roles that mean nothing in the long run. It is sad that my refuge from harm and arguments, danger and pains has now become almost a constant cause for them. But hopefully it is just a missinterpretation on my part and it is really the great place that I remember and I am just a bitter actor who is no longer good enough to run with the big dogs of Moonlight. I will find out when I audition elsewhere. I went to Shakespeare Rehearsals tonight. I am worried. I really don't think that Nathan truly grasps the idea of the show. Less is more. That is a key element of the show. He is trying so hard to be funny that he isn't funny. The simplicity of the script is what lends itself to the hilarity of it. If you try to be ridiculously funny...you won't be. You'll be the star of the high school production in the community theater that could have been so much more. I hope that he sees the soon. Andrew is along the same lines...but not nearly as bad as Nathan at the moment. Andrew's character is a wild character..therefore not as big a deal when he goes a little wild. It will all work out in the end I am sure. Now I am home, Billy is crashed on the couch and I am soon to go to bed myself. Work is edging ever closer and I fear it will come all to soon. Tomorrow the old Halloween Horror Nights JP Zone 1 Scrumptralescent crew is gonna come and ride my boat. I CANNOT WAIT! I really wish I could have hung out with them. It will happen soon. I miss my jock friends. My only jock friends. Life is really good at it's core. Just covered in a layer of crap at the moment. Just gotta find the water to wash all that away and I will be fine.

Fall From Esteem

Isn't it funny how when someone falls from esteem in your eyes, YOU are the one to feel the pain when they hit bottom. They feel nothing unless you let them in on your silent torment. They hit the bottom of a pit that everyone thought was bottomless and lay broken against the crumbled earthen floor and yet they feel nothing. While you wretch and twist on your own two feet as your soul tries to escape from a body still not ready to let go. Isn't it funny? What cruel joke was God working on when he decided to give actor's, the people who will everyday face rejection, an ego made from blown glass? Glass so fragile and thin that breathing to hard on it can cause it to crumble into shards in your hand. That's how I feel right now. Jan has fallen, she lays at the bottom of the pit at the edge of her pedestal.

Damn Fragile Actor Egos

Ok...so I went to call backs tonight, Against my better judgement, and sat through all of the regular shit. Reading, after reading of the same old stuff while I wait to find out exactly what I was sure was going to happen. Then just before handing out scripts Jan gaves us the same old speech, "If you didn't get a part it isn't because you aren't good, it's because you just didn't fit what we were looking for. My greatest fear is someone not excepting a role that I give them." BULLSHIT. Then she asks me to play Thesius. Ok..so Thesius opens the show...he's on for like 2 pages...then he leaves. Then he comes back for the last 15 or so pages. So that would leave me sitting backstage for 2-3 hours. Through the rest of the casting I sat and stewed...very angry..very very angry...Her son Ben got Demetrius...big suprise there...A gay guy got Flute. Which would be fine if he wasn't the only character who absolutley should not under any circumstances WANT to be a woman. I'll get back to who got what in a few minutes...Most of which I am very very happy about. So I left almost immedietly after the casting and went out to my car and tried to hold it together. Amber and Nathan walk up...Amber was upset cause she didn't get cast. I held it together through all of that. My original plan was to stay there until everyone cleared out and then let Jan have it. That didn't work out...cause I had to go and tell a few people congrats on their parts...cause I truly was happy for them. Well the first person I get to is Cindy..one I am happy for and she says she is sorry I got shafted..again..basically. Then Jessica walks up, a great little girl and gifted dancer and says "Eric please take the part."...that was all I could take...I said "I can't afford to take a part to drive 45 minutes to sit on my ass backstage for 3 hours." and then the tears started. I walked away before they got to bad and got in my car and circled the block a few times..trying to regain control. I did and I came back and parked. Kyle walks up and gets in my car tells me that I did really well with auditions, that he understands if I don't take the roll, and no matter what I do he is behind me. The first true heart to heart Kyle and I have had. One that was very unexpected...we have actually become friends...it's great and wierd all at the same time. I hold it together pretty well while he is in the car..only a few tears...and the quiet strong ones. Then Brittany comes up to the window to tell me she still loves me...and same old stuff. It's cool..I thanked her..told her I would be fine...got out of the car and hugged her. Then I got back in....Billy knocked on the window and I waved bye to him..he left, I lost it. Strong quiet tears still..but a lot of them. Then Jen walked up to the window. Saw me crying. I rolled down the window a little bit and told her I would be fine and drove away. She called me on my cell. I told her I would be fine. I just needed to cool off...so I was driving around downtown Clermont trying to regain control. She convinced me to come back and talk. I pulled in and her and Nathan were sitting there waiting. I opened the door and got about three words out before I lost it...and not in the strong quiet way. I spilled all of the stuff that has been killing me for months. How I am tired of everyone telling me how great an actor I am and me never getting cast. How I always get the last part...the part that's left. The one no one wants. This is what I want to do with my life...and things like this make me reconcider that. I know that Moonlight doesn't matter at all..but it does. If I keep accepting nothing roles I will constantly be tied up at Moonlight...leaving me in Clermont my whole life doing nothing with it. How I spent 5000 dollars on acting classes in college...and that's not a lot of money I know...as far as acting classes go..but it is a lot to me. And how I have nothing to show for it...cause I still get cast as nothing. I cried, I choked, I lost it...all of this with Jen's hand on my shoe and Nathan's near my shoulder...everyone very worried about my fragile mind. Joking at one point saying, "Just us actor's and our fragile ego's." Then Jan walked up. She came up and said to me, "You want to take this home and look over it." I said, "No. I have it at home...I've read it several times. Thanks." She said, "Well I gave you that part cause you said you didn't want a small part...that's why I didn't give you one of the mechanics. I know it's hard when you don't get the part you want. But it's hard not to give peope the part they want too. You can't always get the part you want." I said, "I know Jan. I've been doing it a while now." She said, "Well you need to tell me if you want this part of not by tomorrow...cause I am calling people." Ok...now I don't know if you noticed in the reading...but where I said..."I know Jan. I've been doing it for a while now." that was a really hard point. I almost lost it and told her exactly how mad I was right then and there and why. But I didn't...cause I have control...and no balls...or big balls..i don't know right now. ANYWAY. I held it together. Told Jen and Nathan I would be fine...and drove away...calling everyone to make sure they knew I was fine. Now on a happier note. I am glad Alex got Puck. Great kid, great job. Love him to death. If I have kids and they are anything like him..I'll die happy. I am glad Cindy got Titania and Nathan got Oberon, well cast. I am glad Jen got Hermia, and Andrew got Bottom. Good to see them give Andrew a role that has a little substance to it...and glad to see Jen getting parts that she deserves. Billy...they screwed him just as much as they screwed me. He deserved to be a lover. He read it very very well...he really did. He was cast as Quince. A good role...but not what he deserved..and if politics didn't factor in. HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT ROLE. But they do...cause we are in a nothing theater in the middle of nowhere that amounts to nothing in the big picture. And that's how I feel right now. I have lost my safe haven of acting, my home away from home. It is dead and gone and I feel it will not be returning ever again.

Fun And Merriment In The Heat Of Hell

Well tonight at the theater was interesting. They forgot to go in yesterday and turn on the air...so today at 6 p.m. when they got there it was about a hundred in there...and they expected two old air conditioners that are way to small for that building to cool it down for the show...OH SO WRONG! When we closed the doors to go home..it was still 90 inside. FUN TIMES! On the upside I have decided that if they ever cast for a Tobey Maquire look alike at Universal ever again...I will be there. EXPLAINATION! ONE: Two years ago when I started working Halloween Horror Nights I had a friend who decided I looked like Tobey Maquire...ie...SPIDERMAN...Then everyone started calling me Spidey during that year of Halloween. TWO: Then I started working at Men In Black: Alien Attack also at Universal where eventually the same nickname picked up with a few coworkers totally unrelated to the previous ones....and several guests who swore I was Tobey Maquire..working at MIB...WHY?!?!? WHO KNOWS! THREE: At Jaws a few weeks ago a young girl got off of my boat and ran to her parent's exclaiming, "SPIDERMAN WAS MY TOUR GUIDE! He said his name was Eric, but I know it was Peter Parker...I saw the movie." FOUR: Tonight as I was standing in line in the sweltering heat waiting to meet our audience a guy walked by me, came back and said, "You should go and audition at Universal." and I was like, " I already work there." "OH where?" "Jaws." "THAT'S WHERE I KNOW YOU FROM! I used to work there. But I was talking about for the Bill and Ted show..or Peter Parker. You look JUST LIKE TOBEY MAQUIRE!" So that is why I have decided that by the time Halloween Rolls around I will audition for Spiderman for Bill and Ted. The show was interesting....Amber was having anemic fainting fits...which Nathan rushed to the rescue everytime for. He is such the boyfriend.... He is apparently annoying a lot of people around the theater...there is talk...it is at a low rumble right now...but it is there. I will not attribute or stop it at this moment. I have no defense...and I have no solution. So I will let it fall on someone else's hands. And that is that. I am losing inches pretty quickly. I think maybe it has something to do with me not eating and working my butt off...but every inch I lose on my body, is an inch closer to Spiderman Fame in the Bill And Ted Show. YAY! I'll post soon.

Pain!...Lots Of Pain!

Just when I think it's safe to not worry about my knees...I find out that I AM OH SO WRONG! Today at Jaws..I was going along...minding my own business..fighting giant sharks..and all of a sudden BAM! I'm on my butt in the bottom of the boat. My right knee gave out and I fell in Scene 4 just before Bridewell's gas station was about to explode. I shot the grenade launcher from the floor of the boat...which was funny for the audience. Then I got up by supporting myself with the steering wheel..then I fell again at the attack shark...and ended up shooting him from the floor of the boat too. It was not pleasant at all. My bump came through and I went to the next position in my rotation...which happened to be unload. I really do have to say that the Leads at Jaws are some of the best in the park...great people. They got me out of rotation right away and Dan, one of the best of the best of the leads, helped me get my knee back in place (he has bad knees too...so he was a lot of help. He knew EXACTLY what to do.) They asked me if I wanted to go home, I told them I should be fine...but if it popped out again I was going to have to go home. They agreed. I went back into rotation and within 30 minutes my knee popped out again and I told them I had to go home...that was at noon. I was supposed to go home at 3 originally, then it was 12:30 when Shawn came in...well Shawn thought he was in at 3 so he was late...Dan called him and he ended up getting there at 1:30 and I came home and got my knee all iced and took 1200 mg of Motrin...good stuff. Laid in bed for a long time....then I got bored and hungry..so I cooked. Now I am watching Smallville and typing in this...I should be at rehearsal..but I need to get this knee fixed so that I can work tomorrow...and rehearse tomorrow night. Well...I am back to Icing my knee again. I will update soon.

And He's Back

Hey everyone.....or anyone who is still checking my blog. Sorry it has been so long since I updated. Just been really busy. Ok...so we are 2 weeks into Annie shows..it is truly an aweful show. There are a few redeeming qualities I have been told. Our Grace has an amazing singing voice and has the part down..she is just very soft spoken and sometimes you can't hear her. The maid in our show are really good..they got a great mention in the review. I didn't get a mention in the review..but I was told by several I was one of few redeeming qualities in the show. The kids have a few cute scenes....And the Oxydent Hour of Smiles isn't too bad. Bert Healy is good..and some of the Boylin sisters. I am not going to talk about the bad stuff in the show...cause I will dwell and I am trying to avoid that. I have been running boats at Jaws for 2 or 3 weeks now..I have lost count...but my voice is feeling it. Really feeling it. I have almost lost my voice several times now. But I am taking the best care of it I can and I think it is finally coming back. I have achieved full time status at Universal and as soon as all the paper work is done, I will be officially a full timer at Jaws. I haven't REALLY talked to Lu Lu in weeks...nearing months. Billy and Jen are happy as ever. Nathan and Amber are pretty happy. I met my soulmate today....but she wouldn't give me the time of day....maybe she was just wearing someone else's shirt. This will need a little explination. I saw a girl at Jaws today wearing a shirt that said "Pineapple" across the front of it. I said hi..she kept walking without even really paying me any attention. So I think she stole the shirt. Jen however thinks that we will meet at a later date and I will be wearing a shirt of some signifcance to her and she will feel the overwhelming need to talk to me and happiness will ensue. If she is right..she gets a bunch of cookies. I am in "Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged" as Stage Manager but my part seems to be growing more and more every rehearsal. if Billy has his way I will be a 4th main character. And I think Nathan and Andrew are behind him on this one. Well atleast Andrew...nathan isn't behind much lately..except Amber...AWAY FROM THAT SUBJECT.... Rehearsals are going well...still don't really like Tim that much..but you can't like everyone. I just did auditions for "A Midsummer Night's Dream" they went very well. I am sooo proud of Alex...my son from Yonkers. He is an amazing kid. He did such a great job at auditions that I stood up and yelled "THAT'S MA' BOY!" This is the cast I am hoping for. Me:Demetrius, Billy: Lysander, Jen: Hermia, Amber: Hellena, Alex: Puck, Nathan: Oberon, Cindy: Titania, Andrew: Bottom. And everyone else..i don't really care at the moment. I HAVE SPOKEN. Call backs are Sunday..and then Jan will speak...to bad we don't have the same voice. We'll see how it goes. My regular work schedule is Tuesday's through Saturdays with Sundays and Mondays off. I usually work morning shifts..getting me out by 3. Talk to you all later.

I HATE IT WHEN I SLEEP ALL DAY!

Ok...so I woke up at 3 p.m. today...after going to sleep at 3 a.m. I HATE WHEN I DO THAT! It's because I only slept like 2 hours the night before...so...Understandable....Understandable...STOP MUSIC! So I got up with all the fury of a guy who had just slept 12 hours....and proceded to get NOTHING DONE! I went to work to get my check...which had just been mailed out, so no check, then I went to the bank that I hate (SOUTHTRUST) to close my account...they closed at 4, no closing, Then I was going to get my oil changed on my new car, no money, no oil change. So nothing was done today...NOTHING. But that's fine. Tomorrow will be my 3rd and final rehearsal for Annie at Moonlight Players. That's right...I am going to be in a show after only doing 3 nights of rehearsal. That's either talent...or a deathwish for my upcoming acting career. (SHUT UP! I know...I don't have one...yet. Upcoming isn't specific. I get one before I die...it's not a lie.) That's it. I get signed off tomorrow for Jaws...at 7 a.m...WHY, DEAR GOD, WHY!?!? Would you sign off someone at 7 a.m....when acting skills are dead...cause they don't come out until noon...EVERYONE KNOWS THAT! Anyway...I have to get in 4 hours...so I'm going to bed. Blog at ya later.

Why I Should Live Alone AND Why I Shouldn't

Today I am annoyed....trying not to be...but still am. I spent most of the day playing Pokemon Colosseum...bad bad Eric. It was a fun day...I cleaned up after everyone in the kitchen. That wasn't fun. Nathan came home long enough last night to make some ice cream and eat it..then left the mess there for whoever needed to use the kitchen next. He spends all of his time with Amber...and I do mean all. Don't get me wrong..I'm glad he found someone who he likes that likes him back that is over the age of 18...it's nice. But come on man...there is such thing as going overboard. I won't even really get into that...cause most of it probably spurs from jealousy. The bottom-line is...I think I should be a hermit. I should go and live in the middle of nowhere away from everyone with my animals...and just take care of me and not worry about anyone else. That's how life is sometimes. That's how I feel right now. But I know that if that is how I lived...I would be bored..and spend days at a time wasting my liffe on things like...POKEMON COLOSSEUM. That is life...