Getting It Off My Chest

So here's what is going on. A while back...probably three weeks I confessed my attraction to this guy at Icehouse. I had been attracted to him for a while...well I ended up working one weekend of Evita and I figured..."ah, what the heck. I'll go for it.". So we all went to the Frosty Mug and I told him I was interested in him..and he told me he was interested in me. There was a lot of talking about relationships, and wanting relationships, and past relationships, and how we were feeling that we weren't going to meet anyone. Then we walked around Mt. Dora some and there was a kiss or two. He came home with me and we both fell asleep. Pretty innocent. Pretty tame. The next morning we woke up and one of the first things he said to me was "I can't do this.". I just wanted to ask, "You can't do what? Get to close? Feel something? Be in a relationship?" But I didn't...I played it cool. I said, "That's fine. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'll give you my number and you can call if you want." Then that night at the show we totally avoided eachother for the whole first act. During intermission I bit the bullet and went over to him and said hey. He then uttered those time honored words that usually translate to "You won't be seeing much of me after today...and when you do...it will be awkward as all hell." I am of course talking about "We Need To Talk" I hate those words. Anyway...He told me about how his friend had been trying to get ahold of him all night because he had had an emergency and couldn't and he needed to deal with his life right now and all that stuff. I continued to play the cool guy role...and said that was fine. And he said he did want to keep in touch with me and I said great. he said I'll give you my number after the show...I said great. Then I went back to to do the show. Then after the show..he vanished..and I didn't see him or hear from him again until tonight at auditions. I know it sounds stupid and melodramatic...but I really like him....and everything is just kinda....there...and I have a really hard time just letting go. That is what's bothering me. I was sure we wanted the same thing....and I was sure that it was going to happen..and it didn't...but was left with a window of possibility. But I don't want a window of possibility..I want reality. So tonight he shows up at auditions and I waited a few minutes...then I went back and sat next to him and said hey. It was awkaward. I was hoping for a "Sorry I didn't call you, I've been busy."..any kind of excuse or even just a "I had to go right after the show and I forgot to give you my number...here"...I don't care..but all I got awkward conversation about how he wasn't going to auditoin and decided to last minute. How his show is going kinda ok. It was just painful. I guess I just expected to much. Fine...I'm greedy...fine I'm selfish...fine I'm melodramatic(that one I know is accurate...look at this freaking blog.)...but that's me. And I'm still hurting.