Actively Waiting

So I am going to wait this out. The not having money, the worry about my job, the trying my damnedest to get things to work, the worrying, the pinching, the clenching, the hating....I am going to wait it out. I have great people around...I can make this work. My life is good...things are getting better at work...the artistic juices are flowing. We will see what comes of that.

I am eagerly awaiting winter...well...Florida winter. It is a shadow of what a true winter is...but I love it. The crispness in the air, not having to use the A/C, dressing in layers, snuggling up in bed for that extra 5 minutes before you run barefooted across the cold carpet to a hot shower. And who knows..maybe I'll have someone to cuddle up with for that last 5 minutes...other than Blot. Christmas show is right around the corner...I will be rapping in the show..that should be..interesting. I feel my prowess in dancing has increased...though my rankings does not show that...but who am I to say. I love my job..when I get to do it...and I wouldn't mind the escorting if I wasn't making the same to escort characters now that my dad made in custodial over 30 years ago at Disney. Things will get better...a fortune cookie told me.

Results from the Christmas audition should be very very soon...they said 2 weeks..and that would be Tuesday..so...hopefully I will know something by then. And now..for a poem...cause I felt like it.

Waking from a dreaming dance,
the air cool and crisp,
snuggling under a cotton sea,
the waves warmer each wisp.
Time wishing to stand still,
the sea of sand still flows.
when this dance of tides will end,
only the snoozer does know.
A barefooted run across the ice,
that crunches and surrounds your toes.
Into a fall of warmest showers,
the dreaming finally coming to close.
Wrapped in wool,
you start your day.
Each moment clearer still.
Each solid breath,
bringing you closer,
to the dance of dreams you fill.

Eh...I've written better...oh well.

Exhausted

So I am finding that letting go of things is much easier if no one is involved. I am probably asked 4 to 5 times a week why I am not going back to the place that I once called my theatrical home. Not saying names...cause..well..it isn't necessary. Here are a few ramblings that came from my last conversation with someone relatively new to the theater.

"M: why aren't you coming back? tired of the drama?

Eric: Pretty much. it's not the place I found when I was younger....it's twisted...it changed...I can't be there.

M: it has changed...even since i first got there, i feel.

Eric: It's just not the place I loved.

It's a dark and twisted version of what I remember...my wonderland became my hell.

M: wow that's pretty intense

Eric: You don't understand how much that place meant to me when I was little.

M: you're right...i have no idea

Eric: I had no where to go...no one to listen to me... no way to express myself...and I found (theater name)...and finally..I could be me.

M: sounds like you described a great place
or...what used to be, anyway

Eric: Whether it ACTUALLY was or not..I don't know...but for me..it was.

It was my wonderland. Beautiful and mysterious...terrible and frightening...a place where what I thought was not what I thought and what I knew was not what I imagined."

That sums it up in yet another way if anyone was still wondering....and reading. lol. Remember that that came from 48 hours and 5 hours sleep. Anyway...I thought that part of what I said was fairly artistic...so I'd post it.

Forgotten Things

So I have been thinking alot lately about my life and the things that are important to me. I have recently discovered that what really matters to me is having people I love around me...and for them to be happy. And in that I am truly blessed. I think I have found a core group of friends that I can depend on whenever, for whatever, no matter what.

And I love them. I truly do. Fen Fen with her hours and hours of spectacular conversation and movies and beauty and just being together and knowing everything we say is safe and heartfelt and honest. L and K with video games, and tv, and 80's show times, and food, and beer, and scary stuff, and creativity that would fill most till there was nothing left but shards of over-expanded consciousness. DJ with judabequa, and drunk colette, and improv, and laughter, and fun, and brilliance, M with her honesty, and listening, and humour, and just everything that is wonderful and brilliant about her. Sarah always being there for me...at home or not and knowing that I can say anything I want to her as well...even the difficult roommate things and she's ok. B..even though he drives me crazy sometimes...knowing he has my back if necessary...and I probably won't even have to ask. And really...there are just to many beautiful, funny, brilliant, wonderful people to mention her right now. They are what is keeping me afloat. I am happy alone...that's something I learned to be...but they definetly make life better than happy. I love you all.

I know this is random..and new...and unexpected..and probably a little jarring and stalkery...but still..there it is. And I know it's ok...cause I have lain myself out before these folks before...and am sure I will again.

The Fall of Winter

It's days like today that make me want furniture for my balcony. It's a beautifully clear day with a hint of chill in the air. Just enough that you consider a long sleeve shirt so you can feel like you are still cuddled up under your comforter. I could take my dog to a dog park but then I'd have to share this day with others...and I know that sounds selfish but I am in Florida and don't get many of these beautiful days and I want it to be all for me. I will sit in my livingroom, eating chili and reading a good book while gently patting Blot on the head. Days like today make me glad to be who I am and where I am.

One Of Two

So you know those couples where there are two people but when referred to they are always referred to the same way? One person is always the other one's significant other? For example when referring to Steve he is always referred to as Betsy's boyfriend. Betsy is never Steve's girlfriend. Or Brad is always Tom's boyfriend and Tom is never Brad's boyfriend. Those things tend to show themselves in the relationship itself...one person kind of falling into a dark patch of the other person's shadow. I have refused to be this my whole life...is that why I don't have anyone? I'm curious..I mean I have seen many a couple who doesn't have that distinction...they are equally represented in the relationship..however most of those couples fight a lot and are happy..but not as happy as they could be if one would relinquish power I suppose. I don't know...just something that is bothering me tonight..as I sit her alone...about to crawl into my big queen size bed alone...and sleep alone..yet again. I am tired of being disappointed.

Barely Breathing

I find myself barely breathing lately. Constantly with my nose just above the waters of life. I know that this a common thing in these hard times where the flood of bills and expenses is rising higher and higher each day, but I find it particularly taxing in reference to my own life. Every time I think I have found a shallow spot I lose my footing and slip, surfacing sputtering, coughing, and disoriented. I am tired of being a have not. I am tired of working constantly doing something I love but never having the money to enjoy the rest of my life. I am tired of it..but I wouldn't give it up for anything. That is a strange sensation. I truly do love my job...I truly do love every minute of every day that I am out being who I am. It saddens me that other people, ranked higher than me, don't have the same experience and could care less that they are there and that they have been given such a great chance. We are something that few people get to be...we are children's idols...we are who they love...we are who they rush to see every morning...we are who they snuggle up with at night just before sleep..we are heroes. That should be something that you feel honored to be..not something you do from 9-5 to make ends meet. I for one am honored...and know that that means very little in this industry..but still...I am honored.

Long Time Coming....

I am constantly reminded that I have lost my Eden. The place that I once thought was beautiful, full of life, beauty, natural art...it is twisted forever. The person I once thought a direct line to all knowledge constantly reminds me with a forked tongue that they are no more than a serpent. I continue to go to this oasis hoping to quench a thirst that I see others lacking but all I find is sand and dust. There are those there that are desperately drilling trying to find the fertile soil that once not only produced it's beautiful variations of sustenance but supported every vine and branch in the garden no matter how young, old, green, or out of place they seemed. Unfortunately it appears that the dust has taken over and most of the life that once teamed through this place has long found other patches of green. The few who struggle there don't reach their potential. They are beaten down by harsh winds, be it in the light they are dried out under the brutal visage of the unrelenting heat of the sun, or at night when the they experience the bitter cold of the glaring stars that sit in the heavens in their 12 thrones. These titans not even able to decide if what they feel is right among themselves constantly throwing fire and bitter waves of radiation.

I thought I had found a chance of survival for the place I once knew in a seedling that was budding. However I see now that it will never be able to reach it's full potential. It will only be weeded out until everything looks like everything else. A desolate wasteland of angry sand and resentful winds. And this saddens me to the core.

Waiting...

So lately I feel like I am waiting. Waiting for a person, waiting for a job, waiting for a new place, waiting for money, waiting for the waiting to end. I feel like I need to grab hold of my life and veer it into the direction I want to go...but I am not really sure how to do that right now. Work is going well...cause it's Halloween Horror Nights and that always goes well. School is still on the back burner for a few more weeks and then I am going back to finish a degree I am not really sure I am going to use. I don't know how I feel about finishing something simply for the fact of finishing...but that's what I am doing. Actually..I do know how I feel about finishing for that reason...and it's not good. But that seems to be the best course of action at this moment. My friends are good..though complicated. My love life is...complicated if not nonexistant. I keep waiting for my parent's land to sell so that I can start over. Everything paid off...with some money in my pocket and a new place to live..with Blot and Sam. I will be moving...when it sells...I am leaving Florida. New York, California, Chicago..I don't know..but I am going to be done with this place. I love some things about it..mostly the people...and Universal..but still... I was talking to someone the other day at work and I constantly find myself saying things and then going...that's good advice...why don't I do that? The current piece of advice was "Why not do something when you have the opportunity? Why stay somewhere simply because that's where you are? When you can go...go." So that's what I am going to do. When I can go...I am going. So..here I go.

Scared, Confused, Angry, Disappointed

I am sitting in my room...where I've locked myself in...to try to keep the world out. It's just too much right now. I could have cancer, I may just have a cyst, I could end up sexually disfunctional, or sterile, I don't know what I want, I don't know who I want to be there. I just want to the world to stay out. I want to leave my body, leave my feelings, and just exist for a while without any need for anything. But I don't know how to do that. Everyone keeps telling me, everything will be fine... because no one EVER says "Well, ya know what? Everything might not be fine. There is a chance you have cancer. There is a chance that the next few months will be filled with Chemo, pain, vomitting, and a complete lack of sexual function. There is a chance that for the rest of your life you will feverishly check for lumps daily in fear of a relapse. There is a chance you might not even wake up from the surgery on Tuesday." I am scared. More scared than I have ever been in my whole life...and I don't want to let anyone in. I have been throwing myself at everything else in my life to keep from thinking about the truth. I have been being angry at JP for doing what JP does. Fixating on the apartment and every task that I do to try to keep it livable and blaming my other roommates for not doing the same. I have been thowing myself into a relationship that I am not sure I am 100% into. I have been working and dealing with work constantly. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this. I am strong...everyone keeps telling me how strong I am. Even before this... I am strong for dealing with my mother, I am strong for caring for my family. I am just strong...but I have never felt so weak as I do right now. I go into surgery on Tuesday knowing nothing...spending money I don't have. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to put my fists through walls. I am 25. I am TWENTY FIVE. I realize I have good things in my life. I realize that I have people who love me very much and people that I love very much. I realize that I have made accomplishments thus far. But I also realize..that much like this death that is growing inside me...I am going to have to eliminate some of the things that make me feel this way...even if I am scared of the process and what it may cause. I am scared. I am really scared.

Fears

Sometimes I think I am a horrible person. I am finding it very difficult to feel happy for people I love when they get parts they want or feel sympathy when they don't get parts they want. Because I can't even audition. I feel bad about it...I hate myself for it. I know that this job was my choice...I know it's the smart thing...I know that it pays more than I would probably ever make in theater...but I feel like a part of me is missing...a very happy part of me. And others are noticing too. I was a happier person when I was paying my bills with the change that I found in my couch cushions and a 600 dollar pay check was something to celebrate(Not to mention probably a quarter of my yearly salary). I find myself not even wanting to go see theater because it stirs the artist in me...wakens the hunger that lies just below the surface most of the time and pulls it to the front...scratching and clawing it's way through my being. Part of me keeps telling myself that if I just wait a few years I'll be high enough that I will have time for theater again..and another part of myself tells me that if I even just wait until school is out I'll have time again...but there is part of me that is starving. And eventually I will have to feed it or I fear it will die and with it the friendships I cherish most of all.

Who's Wants Are These?

I can't even begin to know what I want anymore. I don't know what to do with myself. Am I going to school cause it is what is expected of me? Do I even WANT to be a chef? Do I even WANT to work with food? Do I want to be on stage? Do I want to write? I have no car, no money, a job that I am getting less and less fond of everyday, no relationship, I am unhappy with school, my family life is not good. About the only thing I have REALLY going for me right now is my health and I don't know how true that is..cause I haven't been to the doctor in a while and there could be a silent killer laying in wait just under the skin and I wouldn't know. Wouldn't be the first time...but I doubt that is the case. Miserable people don't die...miserable people live forever. It's the moment they find what they are looking for that death closes it's icy fingers around their throats. Theater has taught me well. What do I do? Other than sit here..in my dark room...face glowing in the light of my computer screen...and cry.

What I Know

Burning behind my eyes,
pushing the orbs of my soul.
Deprevation of rejuvenation,
making my visage seem old.
Where am I going?
Why do I go?
What is the value?
How do I know?
My head feels heavy,
heavier by the day.
Laden with questions,
expectations I can't delay.
Is school where I'm going?
Why do I go?
Is my learning of value?
How do I know?
My soul burning, wanting.
A life I could reach.
A world filled with heroes,
Antagonists, music, and speech.
Is theater where I'm going?
Why do I go?
Is my talent of value?
How do I know?
I want someone to share with,
to hold and hold me
Someone who knows me,
better than I could ever see.
Is love where I'm going?
Why do I go?
Is my person of value?
How do I know?
All I know is I'm wanting.
For what, I don't know.
Just have a yearning,
A daily, sharp blow.
I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know why I go.
I don't know the value.
That is all that I know.
-Me

Wait...A Grown Up Job?! You Mean Like...With Benefits And Shit

So it looks like I will be working at a new coffee shop/sandwich shop concept called Volcanos. I am not going to post the whole thing on here...but they have great coffee..that they roast inhouse..which is cool. I am going to help to standardize their menu and be the area manager for a minimum of 3 stores, including their flagship store right in the heart of downtown in a highrise building that is complete with a movie theater, condo's, and several other retail stores. It's gonna be great..very exciting. This is a great way to get into the business...they hope to open a lot of stores in the next few years and I will be managing a lot of them. Gonna be making some money..very, very excited about being comfortable. Anyway..J.P and I are gonna play some scrabble. Blog later.

But Now...I Hurt

I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to do.
I want to slip into nothingness
And just stop wanting you.
I feel betrayed.
I feel mislead.
I don't understand this life
that leaves my insides dead.
I'm tired,
I'm hollow,
and forever searching blind.
Not waiting,
not looking,
but this forever on my mind.
Once I felt young,
Once free,
my feelings overt.
The error was revealed,
but now...I hurt.

Uh...Excuse Me God...I Think You Forgot To Throw In That Order of Patience

I like to be able to view things..knowing the factors in play...so I can make my next move. Kind of a birds eye view of the board and the pieces. When I was a child I was the same way..I was the kid who, before he even touched the playdough, had a complete blueprint of what he was going to build..complete with measurements and color-coding. So I have always known that I have no patience. No patience for stupidity, no patience for lack of drive, no patience for a lot of things. But first and foremost, I have no patience for relationships and waiting for them to develop. Within 5 days I want to know where this is going, if the other person is thinking about me when I'm not there, if the other person misses me at all or if I am just a passing fancy. I've always been like this..and I try to ease the blow by saying things like "I know this sounds stupid..." or "So, just for kicks, I was thinking..." or some other line before I say things that I am afraid is going to send people running for the hills.

I just don't understand why those things scare people away. I guess it's just cause if I want to know something....I assume they want to know it. And as I find myself wondering, "Are they missing me at all right now?"...cause I am sure as hell missing them..so I tack an "I miss you a little..lol" to the end of a message. And seeing as I try to make sure that if I have some spare time I offer it to them, I say things like "You free tonight?"..which I just see as an open ended invite..no pressure...for real..but some see that and go.."God...He wants to see me again?!?" That's cause I want to see them daily....it's just who I am..when I with someone..I'm with them... Anyway...this is something I felt was blog worthy...maybe something else will come along soon.

End of an Era

So you may have noticed that I don't update my blog as recent as I used to...I don't know if anyone is still reading on a regular basis. I know that some check it on occasion to see if I bothered to type anything. Well...I think that this lack of writing might be a trend that continues....let's face it...I get myself in enough trouble when I open my mouth, I don't need to post it on the net all the time. Yeah..life is complicate, yeah relationships are hard(be it friend, foe, or love), yeah money's tight, but I am fairly certain that that my little rantings aren't helping any of that. Maybe I will start facing my demons in person, rather than writing them out for the world to see....or who knows..maybe I'll be back in a few weeks with something exciting. If you want to know what's going on with me...call me..or ask me. That's really your best bet from now on.

I Just Need To Vent This

Life is good...I think it could be better...but it's good. I won't go into detail...but there is one specific aspect of my life that sucks right now...2 people in particular and they are pretty closely related. Anyway...I know that this blog makes no sense...but letting it go into the universe might....so that's what I'm doing. Today was Pork Day 1 in meat fab. I love me some pork....my pork chops were cut perfectly, perfectly cooked, stuffed perfectly with the breading that my team worked on, and then covered with my Sauce Robert..which did I mention..was perfect. I have an 89 in meat fab right now....and that's only cause I missed a day..if I hadn't missed that day..I would have a 98...but that's ok. Things are mostly good...mostly. That particular area of my life may be getting better....the removal process I believe began a while ago..and now the actual surgical strike is about to begin...followed by what I am sure will be a long process of irradiation to destroy the remaining bits of the relationships. Anyway...I'll talk to you later.

Epiphany

So this morning I woke up and realized something. I can do anything. I know how that sounds...but when I look back over my life...anything I have truly wanted to do..and tried to do...I have done. The things that I have failed at were things that I had no desire to do or things that were totally out of my hands. I can act, I can sing, I can dance well enough to get by, I can cook, I can fix things.... Shaggy is a great example. I hadn't prepared...I had never tried to do a Shaggy voice..but 5 minutes after they gave me the side I went in with it mostly memorized and did it well enough for them to consider me for the role. Culinary School is going very well...I am pulling an A in most every class. Relationships are harder...and different cause they are two way. I think that is why I get so angry when someone questions my ability to do something. For example a role I want to play. When someone who I am close to tells me that they don't think I can do it I get upset. Because I KNOW I can. I have faith in my ability. I can make my life work. That is where I am right now. That is my mind set. And if you think I can't do it...then I think I can convince you that I can...the question is...do I have a desire to waste my time trying?

WOW...just....WOW

So I am finished today's project today about 5 minutes BEFORE he started explaining how to do it. I HATE THIS CLASS...4 more days...just 4 more days. This guy is an interesting individual....
Anyway....my first solo Spidey party was yesterday. It went pretty well...the kids loved me. They were asking what superheroes I hang out with. It was pretty cool. On top of all of that...it was in the park I grew up playing in..Park Pals. Brought back some memories. I went to the reading for Tom's new play..that was cool.

TONIGHT IS HEROES NIGHT!!!! YAY! Sarah will be there! Maybe just Sarah..the rest of the crew is a little iffy. Billy and Tracy are busy as usual...they might make it..they might not. Adrian has company so he is going to try but there are no promises. So it may just be me, Sarah, and Hiro Sandwiches. GOOD TIMES!

Things are rocky on the homefront as usual. I think we have reverted to 12 year olds. Name calling...the whole 9. So now I'm bored and sitting in class...I want to go home...but I will just wait. I guess I could work on my project...but...that would be...working..and I'm not to keen on that. Anyway...lately I just feel like I need to leave and find a new life...start fresh. Things are just a little cloudy. I don't feel like I have much support...I mean I do..from some..but those that I at one time thought were my solid support system are now a lot more like a 100 year old rope suspension bridge..over a chasm. So I am thinking when I graduate I am moving...I don't know where...but atleast I know when. Well...I'll blog more later.

Hurt, Angry, Dissapointed

Things I never doubted would be said eventually have now been said...and some of the people who know me best believed them. What does that say about my relationships with those I think I'm closest to? I'm sick, I'm hurt, I'm angry. It's not because I wouldn't say them...I'm sure I would..but not while sitting in a theater. That's not who I am. It just hurts that it was said...and no one who knew me stood up and said "You must have misheard...Eric wouldn't say that." But I guess you never know someone till it's time for them to have your back. If this blog has ramifications...I guess I'll take them as they come, this is how I feel right now...so later. I'll blog later.

Computer Class

So I'm sitting in computer class now....bored. Just finished my project for the day...outlining the first couple chapters of the book of the class that we just finished using powerpoint. I keep thinking more and more that I REALLY should have taken that test to try to test outta this. SO EASY! Anyway...really not supposed to be blogging now so I'm gonna go. Blog later.

Hoop Jumpin, Penguin Divin, And Liver Killin

So the last few days have been pretty interesting. I went to Sea World on Wednesday with Dustin, Johnathan, Kimmy, and Dani. That was a blast. The free beer was flowin so we started drinking at 12:02. Went penquin diving..illustrated below. It basically cosists of diving on your belly and then sliding into the nearest hole in the "ice". Funtimes. Then we went to the mall so the girls could get a new outfit, then to Dustin's while Noah was gathering all the animals and the flood happened outside. Then off to Chillers were the wall o' alcoholic slushies were only a doller....dear god. Drank, got in a little fight with Nathan, got drivin home by another Nathan. Not great times.

Then I went to Disney yesterday and jumped through all the medical hoops that disney wanted me to so that I don't lose my id. Then off to see Lu Lu in Finding Nemo: The Musical. Which was amazing. The cast is soooo talented. Just an all around great show with my very beautiful friend playing many characters. I was beaming most of the show and then continued after when we met up for the walk out with her friend Josh, who I've just met and think I will attempt to keep in touch with.

Now today I have my first ever official Spidey party. It could be fun, it could be a disaster...only time will tell. About three hours from now I will either be having a blast or groping around 11 scared children trying to find the birthday boy through a mask I can't really see through. I'm hoping for the first one. So yeah. That's the update. I'll blog later.

I'm done

I am done dating. I am done liking people. When I feel the urge to find myself attracted to someone for more than a few hours I am going to supress that. I will be single...I will be who I am. Single works...you don't have to deal with the bullshit. I will be SINGLE. I am an attractive guy. Granted...right now I am a drunk guy...but still...attractive. I will not be treated like shit...and left in bars...and for God's sake I won't cry in straight bars. Anyway...I'm done. Today was good until around 10 p.m. then it started to suck. Blog later.

Rhinestone Cowboy New Years

So my new costume is hot...lol.. Take a gander. I'm shiny.

Conflicted Sunday

You ever look at your life and wonder if you are doing the right thing? School? Theater? Friends? Romance? I know that everyone does. Just at this moment I have made several pretty big choices and I am not sure how happy I am with them. I'll see it through...fairly reliable Eric here...but am I wasting all this money and time for something I may not want to do? I do have a passion for food...but my passion for theater may be the driving force for who I am...I don't know. Just some thoughts before I go out into the Universal world as a 9 foot tall Jester for the next 4 hours or so. I'll blog later.

Come Play With Me

So are you trying to figure out what to do between 3:45 and 6 p.m. any day between now and January 1st? Do you have a great affinity for Eric but wish he was taller? Well oh boy are you in luck!!!! I am appearing in the Macy's Holiday Parade at Universal Studios Florida as a stilt walking Jester. Now you may have noticed that I said Jester and I know what you are thinking...CLOWN!?!?!? Well my friend you would be wrong. I am not a clown...I am a joker looking kinda thing. Anyway...I'm tall..and I'm having a blast.
Now are you not intersted in this opportunity to see a very tall Eric bringing Holiday cheer to lots of people? Well if not..there is one more chance! I will be in the Universal Studios New Years Eve Celebration as well. I'll be a Rindstone Cowboy Stilt. I don't know what that means...but I think someone probably broke out the bedazzler. Anyway. COME SEE ME! I'll blog later.

Why Yesterday Was So Fantastic: A Pictoblog by Eric

So this is what I did yesterday...and it was awesome! Just thought I'd share in a little photoblog.

Spiderme, Spiderme

So I had my first Spiderman gig today at a Charity event and it was fantastic. I had a really great time. Then I went and walked stilts at Universal...continued to have a great time. Now I think it may be time to pass out until 8 hours from now when I wake up. I'll blog later.

Self Doubt

So I know every actor goes through these dry spells..but this one is hurting. I auditioned for Urinetown and didn't get it..which was one of my dream roles...but that's ok. I can take it. Then I audition for Damn Yankees and didn't get it. When you compound that with auditioning for Disney and not getting even a callback. I am starting to think maybe this thing that I tend to need so bad that it's like air is something I am not good enough for. Maybe I am not cut out for this theater thing. Maybe I should hang my masks up and pick up my knives. I don't know. I love theater...it's what I do...it's part of who I am. I just don't know if I am good enough anymore. And don't get me wrong...I know you don't get cast everytime. I know that. It's just like everything else...you don't always win. But I think if you play a few games without scoring even once....you should look at what you are doing and decide if you are cut out to play. I know I have talents. I know I am good. I just don't know if I am great. If I can't make it here in nothingsville florida...how could I ever stand up to REAL life. I continue to watch my more talented friends rise to greatness and leave me in the wake and then I am nothing more that that random blog comment and occasional call. I don't want to be that guy who did that thing one time who keeps calling even though we haven't talked in years. I want to be SOMEONE. Just what's going through my head right now. I'll blog later.

Who Has High Honors?!

So my first week of school is over and I have the highest grade in the class. Score! It's like a 94..pretty cool. It's going really well. They placed me in a classroom setting first..not in a kitchen. Don't get to go there until Dec 4th. Excited.
I got Jester Stilt in the Macy's parade. Very excited about that. My fitting is Dec 2nd. Can't wait to start walking stilts...the more you walk..the better you get...the better you get...the more you walk..the more money you make. AWESOME...not to mention it's great excercise that I will trick myself into doing any my body is gonna rock. Speaking of...I am also probably going to be playing Spidey at kid's birthday parties..that's awesome. The rockin body is gonna help with that. Not to mention my natural smartass...e...ness. Yeah...smartasseness. Shut up.
I also ran into a Chef at Universal that is going to bring me in a couple days next week to work with him..that's pretty cool. Unfortunately it's only 7 dollars an hour and it's probably going to be more washing dishes and less working the line..but that's cool. What else....Auditioned for Damn Yankees today. That went well. It's out at Icehouse...going for the part of Joe...told them I MAY take one of the quartet that sings heart..but I'd really rather be Joe. Got to see some of my Icehouse family which is nice. And I think that's pretty much it. This has been the Eric update. I'll blog later.

Random Theater Survey I Stole From Alyson

LAST SHOW ADDED TO YOUR RESUME:
You Can't Take It With You was the last one I added...technically. The last one I did was Once Upon A Mattress but it was my second time doing it...so I just added a character.

LAST SHOW YOU AUDITIONED FOR:
Damn Yankees ....this afternoon....

DID YOU GET IT:
Not sure. I sang really well...

LAST SONG YOU USED AT AN AUDITION:
"Go The Distance-Reprise" from Disney's Hercules. Don't judge....it's got a high g...and I can hit it.

FAVORITE THEATRE (VENUE):
That's a tough one. Probably Icehouse...just cause it has a lot of space...but Moonlight has a great little way of drawing in the crowd better. Loved the Black Box at Icehouse when it was there.

FAVORITE MUSICAL:
Got a couple hours? The Last Five Years? Avenue Q? Wicked? You're A Good Man Charlie Brown-THE REVIVAL, Urinetown..... I could go on.

Close Runner Ups:
I love them all equally....

FAVORITE PLAY:
Noises Off. Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead. Greetings. 3 Days Of Rain.

FAVORITE ROLE YOU'VE PLAYED, AND FROM WHAT SHOW?
Probably Jack from Into The Woods. I loved getting to know him.

Close Runner Ups:

Schroeder- You're A Good Man Charlie Brown.

Cliff- Cabaret

FAVORITE ROLE OVERALL THAT I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY:
A tie between Jamie, The Last Five Years. Bobby Strong, Urinetown. and Princeton/Rod, Avenue Q.

SUPERSTITION:
Not very many.

LAST PART YOU PLAYED IN A SHOW:
Prince Dauntless, Once Upon A Mattress. Another really fun one....add that one to my favorite list up there....I'm to lazy.

YOUR GOAL IN SHOW BUSINESS:
To be happy. I will continue to do theater and entertainment for the rest of my life most likely...and if I find a way along the way to get paid to do that..great. If not...then I won't. I would like to try my hand at Broadway..or atleast some "proffesional" theaters.

FAVORITE DIRECTOR:
Joel is really good at making look at who my character is and pulling that out of me. I really admire that in a director.

WHAT WAS YOUR VERY FIRST SHOW?:
It was either Headin' For The Hills or At The Soda Shop. It was in middle school...7th grade... In Hills I played a Hick named Goober and in Soda Shop I was Greaser Number 2...apptly named...Tony.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DANCE SOLO?:
No...that would lead to the downfall of modern theater....just trust me. I've gotten pretty close...I had a solo with a partner as well....so...not really.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SINGING SOLO?
Many...many...so....many.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE LAST PERSON TO TAKE A BOW?
Nope...That's still on the "to-do" list. I'll get there eventually.

NAME A SHOW YOU'VE DONE MORE THAN TWO TIMES:
Never done a show more than twice. I did Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat twice....but not more than that. I plan to do it again though.

HAVE YOU BEEN TO NEW YORK?:
"To-DO" list.

HAVE YOU BEEN TO LA?:
"To-Do" list.

WHAT'S THE SCARIEST PART OF AN AUDITION?:
Auditions don't generally bother me...if they are going to...it's in the 5 seconds between my seat and the stage...and then it's gone.

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF AN AUDITION?:
Of the actual audition process?.... Getting the "Better than I was expecting..aka....damn...he's good." nod...it's only happened once or twice...but it's great.

NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN:
That's a tough one. Can't pull one off the top of my head right now.

NAME A SHOW YOU COULD DO FOR YEARS:
Into The Woods. I miss Milky White.

NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD LOVE TO DO BUT HAVE NEVER BEEN IN:
Go back and look at the list of favorites.

NAME A PERSON YOU'D LIKE TO WORK WITH AGAIN:
I generally look forward to working with everyone again. There is rarely a person that I share the stage with that I walk away going "I'm never working with them again"...as far as actors go..directors, stage managers...they fall into another category.

WHAT ARE YOU AUDITIONING FOR NEXT?
That's a tough one. Maybe Secret Garden, High School Musical The Musical, All Stars. Kinda up in the air with school and all.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PERFORMING?:
Pretty much since the 7th grade..

DO YOU CARRY YOUR HEADSHOTS AROUND WITH YOU?
I have some old ones from when I was 70 lbs heavier in my trunk..but they don't really work anymore...

DO YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH PAST CAST MEMBERS?:
I try...but theater people are generally pretty busy.

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW IMPORTANT IS GETTING PAID?:
Lately...10. My time is either school or work...can't cut any school so I have to cut work..and the show has to compensate for that somehow.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE PERFORMANCE?:
I'd have to go with Padre in Man of La Mancha. One of the few times I've really lost it during a solo. Not to the point that I couldn't finish my song...but to the point that I was physically feeling the loss. Cabaret was like that too.

SOMETHING EMBARRASSING OR UNEXPECTED THAT HAPPENED TO YOU WHILE ON STAGE?
How about when I opened my writing desk in Man of La Mancha and found a big black dildo in it...that was pretty memorable.

WHO IS THE MOST DIFFICULT PERSON (ON STAGE OR OFF) THAT YOU HAVE EVER WORKED WITH?
Well...nope...can't do it...I'll give you a hint...It wasn't an actor, it wasn't a director, and foam in a cup doesn't look like wine.

EVER BEEN NAKED ON STAGE?:
Maybe in a few months when I'm in a lot better shape...for most of my life..no one would have wanted to see that.

WHO OR WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST INSPIRATION OR INFLUENCE?:
That's a tough one..but I think I am probably going to go with Jeff, Buea, Loyde Bridges. We are supposed to be related...so I figure..they can do it...I can do it.

BEST PROFESSIONAL SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN:
Never had the honor of seeing one. That will change...eventually.

BEST COLLEGE SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN:
Haven't seen very many...sorry.

BEST COMMUNITY SHOW(S):
That's a tough one too...but Urinetown was really good when I saw it. There have been a lot of great ones devided between Moonlight and Icehouse.

BEST HIGH SCHOOL SHOW(S) YOU'VE SEEN:
Man of La Mancha at West Orange.

ONSTAGE, HAVE YOU EVER...

BEEN KILLED?:
Don't think so...Got the crap beat out of me a couple times...and had a couple seizures.

BEEN DRUNK?:
Nope.

PLAYED SOMEONE HALF YOUR AGE?:
Yeah...Schroeder, Jack...it's kinda a theme lately.

PLAYED SOMEONE TWICE YOUR AGE?:
Yeah... Eddie in Lost In Yonkers was 50..and I played him at 22.

CRIED?:
Yes

FIRED A GUN?
Nope.

DRIVEN A CAR?:
Does Improv count..cause I did that a couple times.

BEEN DRENCHED?:
Yeah. Once Upon A Mattress...the girl playing Fred Used to splash me all the time when she turned after getting out of the moat.

BEEN IN A DREAM SEQUENCE?:
Yeah...it was trippy. It was for a project in Acting 2.

BEEN KISSED?:
Yeah...not until recently..Never got leading guy roles until I lost that weight.

IF YOU WERE ON BROADWAY RIGHT NOW, WHAT SHOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN AND WHAT ROLE WOULD YOU PLAY?
Ummm...lets just say this...if I was on Broadway..I wouldn't be complaining no matter what role I got put in. That's that.

Do you get recess in Culinary School?

So in just 15 hours I am reentering the world of college. I start Culinary school at 7:30 tomorrow morning. I am excited but terrified. I haven't been in school for several years and for some reason culinary school is scarier than theater. I know it's just my own hang-ups getting in the way. So I am trying to forget about the terrified and focus on the excited. I'll blog later.

2 more weeks....

So...I discovered yesterday that my computer will not be fixed by monday as I had previously hoped. The good news is that the harddrive is fine. The bad news however is pretty bad. My motherboard is bad. That costs about as much as my laptop....so I will be going to the Black Friday sale at Best Buy two weeks from now and getting a new desktop computer to replace the hunk of plastic that used to mean so much to me. Anyway...school starts Monday and I am stoked...I'll blog later.

So I feel...uh...I feel...ah screw it

School starts in 5 days...5 days from now I will be re-entering the school setting on my way to being a certified culinarian. In one year and 3 months I will be a certified chef. That's kinda scary. Money is..still an issue. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. To bad that light isn't actually the sun reflecting off a big pile of gold bars or something along those lines..but I guess I can't be picky about this. I talked to Olive Garden about being a server and they love me...unfortunately their only training time is from 9 to 5...and I got to school Monday through Friday 7:30 to 12:30. So they are going to try to come up with some solution for my training issues and try to hire me..that's all I know. Things in my not so personal life are getting better. I'll leave it at that. Want to know more...ask...it's not so personal after all. OH! And my computer is on it's way to being fixed. I made a friend during HHN this year who is a computer genius and he's gonna fix it for me for next to nothing....HOORAY! I'm sure that is seconded by my roommate who has graciously let me use his computer all this time...well I guess we could probably go with tolerated me using it after a long period of arguement...but hey...It was a still a nice thing to do. Thanks Billy! Anyway..I'll blog later.

Update

So my life...right now...in a nutshell....kinda...blows. I never know what is going on. If you look back...I said I wasn't depressed...well I WASN'T...now I am. No money, work sucks, relationships...could fill a whole blog...and if you read back my persuit of one almost has...and school is starting. The apartment is a refuge until I realize that I must pay for said refuge and then it washes over me. I date and I find mysel often confused by dating cause even though Iw ant it it sucks. That's right people dating sucks. Money sucks...and not having any hurts the dating too. School should make me feel better about 5 hours a day..but then make things worse the other 19 hours cause I will have 5 less hours to find money. Anyway...I am only depressed when I stop to think about my impending 25th birthday...and what I have yet to do with my life. One of the things in the forefront is the fact that I have had exactly ONE seriuos relationship..or relationship that I thought was serious only to find out that I was never even dating that person according to him. Yeah...that blows chunks. I will find money, I will find love, I will find happiness. Health, Wealth, and Happiness. Anyway...I'll blog later....hopefully not quite as later as this time.

About Frikkin Time

So it looks like everything is finally working out...kinda. All that is left for my financial aid worries with school is for my dad and I to actually sign the loan paperwork. He has already been approved..so that is done. My record card is finally fixed so I can get my transfer to Disney Characters...nice. Now I just have to get casting on the phone....not so easy...or nice. I will, barring any unforseen disaster, yeah...I'm talking to you God, be starting school on the 13th of November. I am also taking the stilt walking class in 2 weeks...and then I will be joining the ranks of the stilt walking world. HOORAH! Anyway...I'm gonna go. Blog atcha later.

Eric's Perpetual "huh?"

So I am finding myself more and more frequently confused with life in general. No matter what I try things just don't turn out as planned. I get a good job, it falls short. I meet a fantastic person, they turn out to be not so fantastic. I start a great day, it turns into a week I wish I could forget. I am not depressed...I just think I may expect to much of the people and the world around me. I take to many things at face value. I have to stop doing that. People aren't two dimensional...you'd think as an actor I would know that. lol...apparently not. My life in a nutshell right now is confusing.

I'm just trying to find the place where I fit in the world...and every time I think I've found a niche for myself it slips away and I fall face first into nothing. Culinary Arts school is looking fantastic but everyday it is something new. First my financial aid was a problem...well not just first, but still. Now Valencia is refusing to release my transcripts cause they say I owe them money..which I don't. Maybe I should just wait and not do school until after the land sells and I can be financially stable. I don't know.

Not to mention my love life...gah. I don't know...I think I just want to be with someone so bad that I fall faster than anyone ever should. I find someone..they show interest and so I reciprocate and continue on the "TV/Movie" romance track and before the end of a season they move on. And this could all just be me being paranoid. I found one person that I like right now, but I am noticing patterns already and I don't know how to stop it.

My financial life is...bad. I frequently find myself wanting to crawl into bed and just not get up...ever. Maybe that's why I throw myself head first into relationships, cause if I am there...I'm not here..and I'm not thinking about any of this.

I did do something today that I rarely ever do...cause I know I am a little self-absorbed. The person that I like was having a bad day and I listened and didn't say a word about what was going on with me. That is rare...I frequently get branded as the one-upper..cause when someone says they had a bad day I chime in with what happened to me. I hate that about me...and I try not to..but before I realize I am doing it..I'm done. I think my thought process is that "misery loves company"...so if I tell them that I had a bad day too..maybe they won't feel so bad about theirs. I don't know. It's stupid. I just want to know what to do with my life. Part of me wants to move far away and start over..but that takes money...and initiative...and at the moment I don't think I have either. Anyway...that was my random blog for the evening. Blog later.

A Very Quick Plug

Once Upon A Mattress opens this Wendesday and runs Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday...starting at 8:30. I will talk to all of you later. You come to the Epcot Cast Parking lot to get your tickets and go to the show. If you need more details call me and I'll give you what I have. Tickets are 10 dollars. Later everyone.

Funny....Really Funny

So my internet is back up...as I stated in the previous post...however my computer is dead. I got the blue screen of death people. You know the one...the "I'm not even gonna open in safe mode" blue screen...FATAL ERROR! Strongbad would totally know what I was talking about. All else is as it was. I'm single...confused...less broken that before...and getting closer to fuming. So..yeah. I'll blog when I can.

I'm Back...On The Net

Not really a lot to say. Work is going fine, life is fine, the shows going to be amazing. I freaking dance my butt off in this show...it's wierd. K...call me. I'll blog later.

A Little Stronger

The days are almost back to normal. Training for Mission Spacerace. It's a blast. Love this venue...enough that I wouldn't mind being there 5 days a week. School is...coming...kinda. Financial Aid...sucks. Once Upon A Mattress has become my saving grace. Keeps me sane. I haven't talked to Swank since it all went down. I want to...but it's a hard subject to approach. It will be approached eventually...hopefully soon. That paired with the fact that my cell phone has been turned off until Friday...make it very hard to find answers...closure...peace. Whatever. Anyway...off to today's Sollow Saloo. I'll blog when I can.

Empty

The last couple days has been taxing. Work is coming along and rehearsals for "Once Upon A Mattress" at S.T.A.G.E. are going swimmingly. Last night both the musical director and the director at one point, seperately, said that the part of Prince Dauntless was tailored for me. A perfect fit. I think I probably would have blushed if not for the events of the night before. I have been kind of numb since I woke up Tuesday morning. I know things will grow back together and feelings will return to working order eventually. Anger is so easy...and not being able to feel it through this thick cloud of confusion is frustrating...but that too has fallen deep within the folds of the harsh cloud. But I do see a future just beyond the mist. I have a job, I have school, and I have people who love me. Even if at times they do things that I don't understand. I will blog later with more info about Mattress. I know it opens on September 20th and runs some wierd days. That's about it. Please come see it...It's going to be awesome. I mean as they said....the part was tailored for me. :) Later everyone.

Outage

Hello out there. Just a heads up. My internet got turned off last ngiht due to a complete lack of money. It will be back on eventually...Probably a couple of weeks. On a related note I am not going to be around very much cause I am scheduled 60 hours this week and 56 next week. That's gonna stop real soon...cause I am not going to let it continue...and that may lead to me letting my school place me in a job somewhere in the Culinary Arts field. Yeah...that's right...my school. I got accepted yesterday. I will be attending The Orlando Culinary Academy Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Arts Program starting November 13th. Yay for me. Sorry in advance to anyone I may see while I am in the foul mood that I have been in for the last couple days...work is not making me happy. I'm sure it will pass. I'll blog when I can. Goodbye world.

A Great Day

So today was my 24th birthday and it was fantastic. It all started at midnight as I was still awake and striking set for Encore! Spark of Creation which was wonderful. I went to Ale house and had some drinks with my new friends and Swank. Then he came over and spent the night. This morning I got up and left him to sleep while I went to breakfast with my mom, dad, brother and the rest of my mom's side of the family that lives around here...along with Bob and Donna (Close family friends). Then I came home and Swank and I went to Cocoa Beach He gave me a swimsuit, a day at the beach, a Target Gift Card, a book about Pop Psychology for Superheros, and (my favorite of the gifts) a day with him. We played at the beach for a few hours getting some sun and not enough sunscreen in a few places, then headed back home for a shower and dinner at Cheesecake factory with about 20 of my closest friends. It was fantastic. The best birthday I have had to date. Luerne gave me a book of poetry from Billy Collins with the sweetest thing written inside, Billy and Tracy gave me a Target gift card, Alyson gave me a button that says "Hooray 4 Underpants" and I got some really great cards from everyone..not to mention their company which is what I really wanted for my birthday anyway. Truly wonderful. I love you guys. All of you. I'll blog later.

Marching Into Battle

So I am going to work in about an hour to find out if we can resolve this whole thing peacefully...and then tonight..ENCORE! begins. I'm excited. The show looks like it is going to be truly amazing. I hope most of you can make it. Anyway...my blogs are going to get even fewer and farther in between very soon. I will be losing both cable and internet for a while. It was supposed to get turned off yesterday but the guy never showed...so..yeah...whoohoo! Anyway..I'll blog when I can. The forecast is a 2 week blogging dryspell...but then we should be up and running again...unless it happens sooner.

Bullshit

So I'm home. I went into work today at the place that I work that shall remain nameless. If you know me you know where that is. They changed my schedule and no one informed me. I check the internet posting Friday morning and they must have changed it Friday night. I was supposed to be in the last two days aparently. No one called me..they just asked around to see if anyone knew where I was. BULLSHIT! Then I went in today and found out that I am not in today or tomorrow. They had traded Sunday and Monday for Tuesday and Wednesday. So yeah. I talked to my manager and they said that basically they can do whatever they want and there's nothing I can do about it. BULLSHIT! So I will continue to work there and play it safe for a while..but I will be letting Le Cordon Bleu place me if this Entertainment Coordinator thing doesn't work out. Fun times. Sunday marks my 24th year on this planet..and still...I don't know where I belong. I just know where I feel happiest. Maybe this year I'll find that those two things will for once overlap. I'l blog later.

No Place I'd Rather Be

So the last month has been fantastic. As Swank said...I have a lot to be happy about. I find myself smiling almost constantly. I try to decide what my favorite thing is..but I can't pinpoint it. Going to sleep together, cuddling all night, waking up together, cuddling in the morning, laughing together, Watching TV together, going to Brunch together on Sundays, texting all day, having a second place I feel at home. So now that you are all sick of my blog..I'll move on. Innoventions is...thus far..dissapointing...but it will get better. I am officially applying to Le Cordon Bleu at the end of the week hopefully to start somewhere around Novemeber or December. Very excited about that. I am also going in to take some tests and interview for an Entertainment Coordinator position that I interviewed for like 6 months ago at Universal and they just called me last week about it. That could pay off. Anyway...I'm gonna go. Happily Signing Off.

The Future Tastes Wonderful

So a lot has happened since I last blogged. I started training for my new job at Innoventions. It is going well. Swank and I are seeing a lot of eachother and have very little to complain about..and I think it's probably making those around me just a little sick to their stomach..but hey..I'm happy...deal. Now onto the thing most of you know NOTHING about. I toured Le Cordon Bleu Orlando Culinary Acadamy Monday of this week. Talked with a liason and went over their Culinary Arts program and a course of action for myself. I got a recommendation to attend starting as early as October of this year. It is a one year program in which I would earn an A.S. and become a Certified Culinarian. It's very exciting and terrifying. So that's that. There will be lots of practice for people to eat..and as most all of you know...I love to cook for people I love...and I kinda love everyone lately...lol...so yeah. YAY FOOD! I'll blog later.

Practice Makes...Better

So after weeks and weeks of looking for a job I finally found one..and a good one. Benefits, the whole 9. I will be working at Innoventions starting next week. I went to a costume party on Friday night at Jon's. It was fun. I was Spiderman, Swank wore a Toga, Billy was "the worst roommate ever", and Tracy was a pirate wench. We had fun..I was glad I finally got Swank, Billy, and Traccy in the same room. All is well. So..yeah..dinner now. I'll blog later.

36 Hours Of Random Wonders

Ok...well only like an hour and half was really random..but whatever. I had a great couple of days. A BBQ with swimming and Lilo and Stitch, 13 hours of sleep, Brunch with a group of great people and one little girl who loves to touch other people and thier food, "The Devil Wears Prada", a walk around Lake Eola, my first trip to Wine Bar, dinner at Anthony's, Dessert at Gelatone, Family Guy, The Simpson's, The Venture Brothers, 8 hours of sleep and a kiss goodbye. It really was great. So now I am back in reality...but still happy. So anyway....I have Encore tonight, 4th of July tomorrow, and the rest of the week is kinda up in the air. I will be going in for my 2nd interview at Disney for Innoventions presenter sometime at the end of the week. That's all I know..and Friday night is the costume party...that will be fun. I'll blog later.

Now Before You Call Child Services...

That was just for Swank. Anyway...life is good. Spending a lot of time helping out my family at the moment, and job hunting, and with Swank. I'm finding happies incredibly easy to come up with lately. I am going to interview for a job at Florida Hospital as a Bill collector. Not my ideal job..but it will pay the bills and provide me with time to do theater and hang out with whoever I so choose. :) Mom's here to go with me to buy ribs and stuff for the BBQ tomorrow. I'll blog later.

Conflicted

So today I am profoundly conflicted. My day started wonderfully in a bed snuggled up with Swank. Got up, kissed goodbye out in the driveway and went our seperate ways to work. Then there was no work for me at Universal so I came home, still reeling from the conversation and the nights events. Get home and call my mother to say hi. Then she tells me that she let Sam out..on purpose because he was annoying her. Now I don't know how much blog time I have dedicated to Samarai...but he's my cat. I've had him since shortly after Figaro died. My mother just let him out...they are in the worst possible place to do that. High traffic on one side and woods on the other...filled with foxes and other male cats. He's gotten out a couple of times before...for a few days at a time..and when he's come back he's been all cut up from fighting. All I could think is..don't you think I've got enough on my plate right now without this? I mean you know I am strugling with my financial standing right now. Anyway...enough about that....I'm working on it and it will get better. I'll blog later.

Oh What A Night

So I went to John's pool party. It was a lot of fun. Stayed longer than expected, drank more than I should...but I did meet some amazing people...one in particular. It was a strange experience. It was pretty much the first time I have ever gone to a party pretty much knowing no one. But it was fun. Found out that I don't like Tequilla....at all. I only had one shot but that was enough to decide that it will probably be my last. It was also the only pool party I have ever been to where I was wearing a swimsuit but never got in the pool. Then I saw "Over The River And Through The Woods" at Moonlight yesterday. That was an awesome show. Now you may or may not remember that I played the lead role of Nick in that a year ago....it was an awesome role...a horrible experience..but an awesome role. Go back to last May and you'll see what I'm talking about. So I am sitting at the show, sobbing..it was horrible. I was sympathizing with Nick(the actor playing the role), Nick the character, and the Nick that's left inside me from playing the role...it was like he was losing his grandparents all over again. Crying and crying..the lady beside me turned to me just before the end and said "Are you alright?" I just sarted laughing. It was really good though. Sharon N did an amazing job...best I've ever seen her..and Nick and Tonya were amazing as well. The show is just so superbly written...really a breathtaking piece of theater. I have the script if anyone ever wants to read it. Annyway..I have Encore rehearsal tonight....YAY! I'll blog later.

A friend showed this to me and I just had to post it....SO true. Later Guys.

"Costumed Character Etiquette

There is a somewhat unsavoury phenomenon occurring regularly at theme parks and other establishments or venues where costumed characters can be found which many people find bemusing. Upon coming face-to-face with a sports mascot or cartoon character, normally sane human beings suffer some sort of breakdown in their moral and ethical behaviour. They feel the need to poke and touch while spouting demeaning inanities.

This is not to imply empathy for the character's situation is completely lost - studies show three out of five people will immediately find it necessary, upon encountering one of these characters to comment on how hot said costume wearer must be. It can be something as simple as 'It must be hot in there'. It could also be something more complicated such as 'I hope you have air conditioning in there... I had to wear a mascots outfit... The Fighting Doberman back in high school and it was so hot my eyebrows fused together' You get the idea.

As much as the costume wearer may appreciate the empathy, hearing this repetitive garbage every five minutes is, at best, annoying. Don't think you are original or novel, it's all been said before. The performer will feel more appreciated if you smile, offer good wishes, join in the fun, whatever, as long as your behaviour is unthreatening.

Staying in Character

For most performers staying in character is uppermost in his/her mind. They are bemused when someone treats them otherwise. It is also rude. You do not go to a theatrical production of Hamlet to shout at the main character, 'Hey, Hamlet! Isn't your real name Bill?' or 'So, Hammie, do you get paid enough for this?' The costumed character or mascot is there to entertain you just the same as any other performer or entertainer is. And yes, while they are often paid, the reimbursement is always paltry.

Look, Don't Touch

Never, ever, assault a person in costume. Don't even do so playfully. How many strangers do you go up to on the street and punch in the belly? How many celebrities do you walk up to and give a big bear hug then try and knock down? Do you pinch people as you walk around in a mall? Do you allow your children to approach a stranger and start kicking and jabbing at them, or grab at their face, or hang on their arms and legs? Of course you don't. You are all civilised people. For some reason, though, people think they can get away with this sort of behaviour when it comes to a costumed character. It's ridiculous. There is a person inside that costume, the costume is probably not entirely comfortable to begin with and a physical assault can sometimes be amplified, pain-wise, by the costume itself. It's not nice.

The Ground Rules

Be happy and entertained. Don't sympathise - they know their situation.

Treat them as the character they portray. They take the time to portray it for you, respect that.

Do not attack them or be rough with them. That's a real person inside there.

Also, you should remember this important fact. Fully enclosed costumes conceal the wearer. What does this mean? This means that while you have no idea who's in the costume, they know exactly what you look like. They will remember you.

Oh yes, they will remember..."

The Things I CAN Say...

So I think I am going to move when my lease is up here...like...to another state. Get away from everything I know. I mean I love you guys...well most of you...most of the time...but I think I need to get away. That was what Bonnaroo would have been for...a temporary vacation from reality..but that just wasn't in the cards. I frequently find myself under a hypocrytical disapproving gaze....and I don't know how long I can handle it. I hang out with some of you occasionally and cherish every minute of it..wish I could hang out more. I had a great time with Ty, Ryan, Erik, and Amanda yesterday at Universal before rehearsal. Encore rehearsals start tonight...that will be a blast. Meet other people who love music and can sing and have an excuse to hang out with them and not feel bad about using the gas to get there. I know this blog seems wierd..but I am just feeling like a lot of the things that are bothering me could be not bothering me if some people didn't think I was a complete moron. Anyway..I'm hoping my parent's land sells before April of next year cause they said they would fund my move if I wanted. A move to Chicago, New York, or California to see what I have to offer the artistic community. Orlando is great, my family is here, my friends are here, my past is here...I think it's time I try to find myself...and my future. Either way..I think some of you are going to start to see a new Eric...and a confrontation is building. I'll blog later.

Somone To Fall Back On

You know how sometimes you run across something and it just kinda...fits. Well this song has been right under my nose for months...and today...it fit. Can't sleep so much...or really sing it very well at the moment...but I'm happy and content with who and where I am. Regardless of what anyone else might say or do.

By:Jason Robert Brown

I'll never be,
a knight in armor,
with sword in hand,
or a kamakazi fighter.
Don't count on me,
to storm the baracades,
and take a stand,
or hold my ground.
You'll never see any scars or wounds,
I don't walk on coals,
I won't walk on water
I am no Prince,
I am no saint,
I am not anyone's wildest dream.
But I can stand behind
and be someone to fall back on.

Some comedy
Your bruised and beaten down
and I'm the one
whose looking for a favor
still honestly
you don't believe me
but the things I have
are the things you need
You look at me
like I don't make sense
like a waste of time
like it serves no purpose
I am no prince
I am no saint
and if that's what you believe you need
You're wrong
you don't need much
you need someone to fall back on.

And I'll be that
I'll take your side
If I'm the only one
I'm used to that
I've been alone
I'd rather be
the half of us
the least of you
the best of me
and I'll be your prince
I'll be your saint
I will go crashing through fences
in your name
I will I swear
I'll be someone to fall back on
I'll be the one who waits
and for as long as you let me
I will be the one you need
I'll be someone to fall back on
Your prince,
Your saint
The one you believe you need
I'll be
I'll be someone to fall back on
someone to fall back on.

Jaws Living

So I'm back at Jaws for a while..and I missed it..but I will be glad to get my voice completely back when it's over. I have reconnected with some old friends, made a couple new ones, and met one person that I don't quite understand but frequently find myself intrigued. Life is progressing, my voice is suffering but coming back slowly. I can sing again...not as well as I could before...but pretty close. Encore! rehearsals start Wednesday..I AM SO FRIKKIN EXCITED! I'm going to find the schedule that works for my voice...tomorrow I am working from 8:30 to 9:15. That will be interesting to say the least...I am excited about opening on boat...I can't wait to sing around the island for the first time in a year or so. That was my favorite thing to do at Jaws when I worked there before. Something amazing about singing around your the island of Amity. I went out with some friends tonight..that was fun. Don't know what to think about some situations...but I'm sure the fog will clear quickly. Money situations should clear next week. Can't wait for that...my acne will go away again. Damn stress acne. The apartment is pretty quiet most of the time...can't wait to have some people over. I will also be going out more as soon as I have a little dough. That will be fun. Haven't really been out since the whole Kermit fiasco....and I am due for a stress free night where people openly are interested in me. I just find myself frequently blinded by blasts of bitter confusion...and when the smoke clears I don't know which way is up. I'll blog later.

How's The Water? Kinda Cold...and Bitter

So I went to the audition...I was there for 3 and a half hours... Did the movement combination pretty well, did my animation very well, then got called back in for a Puppeteer audition. Then I came out and waited..and I was LITTERALLY the LAST person called at the end. What do I get? "Congratulations, you passed your audition. Good Job. Unfortunately we have nothing to offer you at this time. So we are going to put you in our Character Pool and if something opens up in the next 6 months we'll give you a call. Would you be interested in something other than Full time Characters? Maybe Attractions?" So they are going to call me next week...AFTER the job fair and see if there is something available for me. Good luck Eric. So..the upside is I am a competent actor and passed he audition...the downside..I still have no money. We'll see where this goes. I'm working a 6 hour shift at Jaws tomorrow, took Beth's shift cause she can't work it. So...there's something. I'll blog later.

Here Goes, Here Goes

So here I am....11 minutes before I need to leave for my Characters audition and I am still nervous as hell. This audition has a lot of weight on it. I need the job, and it's a job that I have been wanting to do for a long time, and it partially is dependent on being a positive person...which according to some people I am not. But I guess life doesn't have the best timing sometimes...but that's ok. Anyway...I'm nervous, but lots of people seem to have a lot of confidence in me..so I guess I'm alright. We'll see what happens...according to Lori I have nothing to worry about and either way I'll get a job at Disney again cause there are casting people at the audition to offer jobs to people who don't make characters...kind of a coselation(sp?) prize. So anyway...I should be employeed very soon....with a company I still love...so good. I'll blog later. To those of you who called or texted or whatever today to wish me luck...thank you so much. I'll blog later.

50/50

So the results of my Negativity poll were pretty much split down the middle. Oddly enough most of the people who answered on here said I was atleast somewhat negative whereas the people who answered on Myspace mostly said I was just honest and the people who answered to my face were devided fiarly evenly as well. So that's that. Now onto what's going on now. I had this dream I thought I would post on here. It freaked me out. Woke up breathing heavy and all twisted up in my covers. Not sure if I was screaming out or not..no one here to notice. So here it is.

I was sitting in the light booth watching "You Can't Take It With You" at Icehouse Theater (the show I just finished at the place I just finished it). I couldn't figure out why the actors were freaking out and covering so much..and then realized just as the last act was starting that I was the one that kept missing his cues..cause I had been watching the show. Then i got up to try to make it to the stage and got tangled in the cords and fell out of the booth. Then I ran backstage and tried to get my costume on to get out there. I didn't make it cause I got lost in a huge curtain. I got all tangeled in it and couldn't breath...and I kept hearing people tell me good job Eric...and then I woke up.

Really freaked me out. What does it mean? Who knows. I am pretty sure it's something to do with me not meeting the expectations of those around me. That's kinda how I been feeling lately. Anyway...Disney auditions are Thursday at 4. I'll blog later.

Negative, Honest, Too Honest?

I want to ask all of you something. I mean this seriously. Do you find me to be an exceptionally negative person? Do I express more bad days than good? Do I never have a good day? I am not angry or upset...I am curious what you all think. I can't have an unbiased opinion...so I come to you...the people I love. I am just curious. I don't know if knowing this will cause me to change the way I am or the way I interact with the world...but if I do frequently burden those around me with negativity I am sorry. Could you just comment and tell me what you think. Thank you guys. And if it would help you can post it anonymously, Just click the comment button and choose to comment anonymously.

Eric

A Time For Celebration

So I know my blogs been a lot on the...negative side. I have lots of good news for this one. First of all on the work front. I auditions for Disney characters on Thursday June 8th. Excitemed, nervous, jittery, confident, thrilled...just the tip of the iceburg of how I am feeling about those auditions. NOW...onto something even more exciting...even though it's finacialy not going to be helpful. I got cast in Encore: A Spark of Creation. I'm going to be in the chorus as a tenor II and might have a solo...won't know for a while...but I am still very excited. The show is in the first couple of weeks of August..and it's amazing...it always is. A cast member has made me cry at 2 of the 3 shows I've seen. So amazing. I'll blog later.

Hello Anonymous

So here it goes...I am going to say this...and that is that. I appreciate the thought Anonymous commenter...but the truth of the matter is...if you have loved me for six years and you wish for all of those things...tell me who you are. Atleast the people who have told me they don't love me have told me to my face...and that's better than this crap you continuously pull. I am not a fan of the Secret admirer game...so either tell me who you are...or stop playing the game.

Always The Friend, Never The Boy

So that didn't take long...what the hell is wrong with the world? Why can't I be with someone? Not to be too...TMI..but if all I wanted was sex I'd have no problem at all...but I want more. I want to cuddle on the couch and watch movies, and feel love...and good morning calls to see how I'm doing. I want to say babe and sweetie and hear them in return. I eventually want to hear I love you...and say it... But again..I don't get to. Am I a horrible person to be with? Am I just to hard to be around? What the hell is wrong with me? I just want to break something....I feel broken and now I want to pass that on. I now have no job, no relationship, no money, and a shit load of bills. I just want to know what's wrong with me. There must be something. In science you try the same experiment and if something goes wrong every time and there is only one variable that is the same..that's the flaw...well I am the flaw in this experiment. In almost 24 years I have not found love...even once. Most everyone I went to high school with has gotten married or dated seriously or something. I'm still single, solitary, unlovably lovable...me. And I guess I should just accept that. I'm good enough for sex...but not for love. What have I accomplished in my life? I haven't amassed a sum of money. I haven't built a lot of quality friendships and brought people together. I mean don't get me wrong...I have friends...but most times the ones I hold most dear hide things right in front of my face and I just go on pretending I don't notice. I haven't passed on my genes. I haven't found my calling. I haven't changed the world. What is my purpose? Why am I here? Atleast Princeton had Kate....all I have is temporary false families onstage that I lose contact with as soon as the curtain closes. They tell me I'm talented, I'm attractive....but it doesn't matter...because they only have to deal with me for 2 to 4 hours at a time....and in scripted context. I'm tired of being me...I'm tired of being alone...I'm tired of..being. I'm not suicidal...I'm not that much of a coward...or that brave..or however you want to see it..so just don't. I hate this...bye.

How I'm Feeling Lately

Rejected, alone, crowded, disappointed, hurried, stagnant, annoyed, excited, alone, lazy, disappointing, unhappy, angry, loved, alone. Those are the ones I could come up with before rehearsal. I found my sallow saloo...and in it's truest form..when I get close it dissapears. This is my final sanctuary..but I will probably have to answer for this later...cause I can't voice an opinion or a concern or a worry or anything without it biting me in the ass..just like everything else in my life. Before I get the calls and the messages...just don't. I'm not suicidal, I'm not thuroughly depressed...so just...don't. Later.

Le Shudder

So I've been here since 8 and I have yet to have a single break or a lunch. Yeah..this is fun. NOT TO MENTION...the fact that the meeting has been going on all day and I still have o idea what's going on. Am I rejoining the job search...gah.. Blog later. Hungry now.

Best Laid Plans

So today is shaping up to be..delightful. My two bosses and their boss are in the office have a serious meeting while I watch the shipping board. Normally this would be fine..even if the meeting does concern my employement status....I can handle it. But I also have this other guy who is slightly above me in ranks standing over my shoulder. He stepped away to do something giving me a few minutes to blog. I missed my first break..but being that we don't do anything on days like today when there is nothing going on in the pyrotechnical world...it doesn't really matter. Fringe is coming up! I can't wait! Bonnaroo is coming up....SO EXCITED! Rent is due soon...less than thrilled but more than discouraged. :) As far as my social standing goes...I frequently make my roommate uncomfortable or angry, my parents are obliviously happy with my life and situations, my friends are there for me when I need them and concerned about my well-being when necessary...now if I could just find a good date I'd be all set. I am going to Universal this Saturday with a group of friends...that will be fun and I am going to a bar at some point with Tracy to meet some quality people. I know what you are thinking...quality people at a bar?!?!? All I have to say is that it is a step up from the internet. I'll blog later.

Another Day, Another Dollar...s...

So here I am at work...Production is slow, shipping is slow..and it's one of those gentle rain days that I think should be an internationally recognized paid holiday. All anyone wants to do is sleep...so why not let us and get paid to do it? Anyway...the big meeting is tomorrow...you know the decide my fate kind of meeting where everything becomes clearer in my financial standing and work related life. Or atleast that's what I've been told the meeting is...we will see. I am running shipping by myself the next couple of days...so..I'll probably blog on occasion. The show is going well...Jack "the reviewer" said it "didn't meet his expectations" but lets face it...he was probably expecting crazy characatures and got real people...whatever. He knows very little about theater and even less about our directors vision..the audiences are loving the show...and that's all that matters. Work is...going. The apartment is...there. Money is...not. Anyway. I'll blog later.

Darkness Falls

So the show is going pretty well. Last night we had a power outage just as I finished my big scene...that was fun. A few good saves by my fellow actors. Anyway...I've been sick as all hell for a week now...no fun. That's all that's going on in my life. I'll blog later.

Breath

So the show has a soft opening tonight with an invited audience and about a hundred red hat ladies. Fun. Anyone who wants to come can. House opens at 7:30 and curtain is at 8. It's free...so enjoy if you can. The show is called You Can't Take It With You and is at Icehouse Theatre in Mt Dora. The website is www.icehousetheatre.com. Now...onto how rehearsal went last night. Apparently I finally got it...after 8 weeks of rehearsal and about a million times on the notes and everything...I finally found Tony. And I gotta say I kinda like him. I hope you guys can make the show before it closes...it's going to be a good one. I'll blog later.

Hell Week...Here I Come

So hell week for You Can't Take It With You is finally here. I am diving in head first in hopes that I land somewhere close to where Joel wants me to be. I am rather dissapointed in myself in this show. I keep trying to be where I should be..and it's just not working. I am working on it...but not as much as I should because of work and the move and other stuff. So yeah...I hope I get there before we open cause I am sharing the stage with some really amazing talent and don't want to make them look bad being on stage with me. Ok..so I'll blog later. Gotta rejoin the work force...and that is a task in itself...no joke. Want to know more...ask me outside of this public forum. lol. Laters.

So This One Time, At The Gala

Tonight was the 2nd annual Moon's and Star's Gala..it was fun. Here's some pics.

Look...I got all dressed up.

My wonderful tablemates Denise, Melissa, and Layne.

Amber and Tracy sitting at another table...across the room....whatever... :)

Alyson....sitting with Amber and Tracy...

Melissa is either amused or angered by dinner.

Rob and Nathan singing Agony.

Our Masters of Ceremony Nathan and Andrew hamming it up.

Denise and Rob singing Secret Garden

Jan And Cathy....who can do anything better than who?

Cloud 9

So life is pretty good. I'm working a lot, making money, living in an awesome apartment, my entertainment jobs are pretty steady, I have a skip in my step and someone on my mind. I am performing a couple songs at the Gala on Saturday at Moonlight. That will be fun..get all dressed up and sing and stuff. Might even wear a tux. Gotta go buy some shoes. Money is a little tight due to all the having to spend it on the apartment and stuff..and we will be having a Walmart Card party here pretty soon. The idea is you come see the apartment and rather than bringing us stuff we don't really need you bring us a walmart card so we can add them all together and get the stuff we need. That way no one has to worry about anything...a couple dollars goes a long way....and if you don't want to bring the walmart card...that's cool too. I mean..we will glare at you the whole party with a shameful countenance...but still...we'll probably still love you...in time. Anyway..I should get back to work. I'll talk to you later.

We're Here

So Billy and I moved in today...gonna be a good time. The A/C isn't working up to par...but we will get that fixed. Later.

A Night In Cyberland

Ok..so last night was probably the most boring 6 hours of paid time in my entire life. There were about 3000 computer programmers at that event..and dear god. How interesting can the same story about computer chips being made out of silicone and alluminum be? Not very...that's how interesting. So yeah...all in all it was a good night. I got a date..with a fellow performer..not a computer programmer....I don't think I would have the strength. Get this...Rob Thomas was there...and he sang a few Matchbox 20 songs..and he slowed them down. I miss Angst Rob Thomas...he apparently decided that the computer programmer crowd would be more into the Mellow Intensity Rob Thomas. He misjudged. But it was still a good concert. Now I'm off to...get paid...and not really have anything to do. Pretty slow here. I am running the whole factory by myself today basically. The big boss, my boss, and the repair boss are all in meetings all day. At 12:30 or so I am taking a 2 hr lunch and going to juggle for Tracy's class carnival...thing. I learned a new trick...the juggler apple eating juggle trick. You know...where you juggle 3 apples and eat one while you are doing it. It probably has a better name..but that one works for me. K...I'll blog later.

The Calm Before The Storm

So it's kinda slow at work today. I did all the shipping pretty much by myself...and helped to install some A/C units for the magazines. Tonight is a big night at Universal. Not gonna lay down the details..but it is...wish me luck. Billy and I officially move one week from today...and I have yet to pack a thing. I will end up doing it all Wednesday night...I have all day off Thursday to get everything situated. It will be nice to be closer to the world. I have abs..that's kinda wierd. The other day I did the obligitory "I'm so fikkin hungry" stomach rub and stopped and went.."WAIT A MINUTE! I have abs?". Yes they are under a thin layer of fat...but they are there....I give it 3 months and I will have that fat ebbed away and I will be all...ab...d. Mardi Gras is great. Love the people I am working with...made some great friends....learned how to dance a little more comfortably. "You Can't Take It With You" is right on schedule according the director Joel. He says it is going to be a good show. We already have half a house sold for opening night on May 5th. That's cool. K...yeah...That's it. I'll blog later.

The Game That Stole My Heart...(And Other Cheesy Headlines

So I have been playing Kingdom Hearts 2 pretty much every spare moment of my life for the past few days...getting only the required amount of sleep to function and drinking AMP by Moutain Dew. The game is great. Love it. Got a PS2...and this time I swear that is my last frivilous spending for a while... I am going to Bonnaroo again this year with Joel. That was fun last year...so why not do that again. One of the few vacations in my entire life that I came back feeling rested from...just got away from the outside world for 4 days...it was nice and it will be again....and this time I will have a little money to buy my friends nice hippie merchandise. Anyway..work calls. I want to go to the movies tonight if anyone is interested give me a call or a message or whatever. I was thinking horror...but if no one contacts me I will delve back into Kingdom Hearts 2. I'll blog later.

So My Conscious And I Got Together And Talked About It...

And we'er not going to feel bad about this. "Yeah...f you!" he he he. That was one of the many highlights of last nights rehearsal. I know it's only the second rehearsal but this show looks like it's going to be great. And not even cause of me...I'm pretty...boring really. The rest of the cast is hilarious...and we've only blocked the first Act...and there are 3. Gonna be fun. I'l blog later.

Return To Solla Solew

So last night was the first real rehearsal for "You Can't Take It With You". It's so good to be back. I only did a few minutes of work last night..but it was great. Having a director talk to me about voice placement and characterization. It's just...refreshing. So...I'm back..and I'm happy. It was good to spend the night thinking about Tony's crap rather than Eric's crap. And it continues tonight. On a totally different note...a pretty nerdy one..KINGDOM HEARTS 2 COMES OUT TOMORROW!!!!! If you lost respect for me...sorry...you would have lost it pretty soon anyway. It's going to be hart to tear me away from the ps2 for until this weekend....well it will be hard for most people. There are a couple that I would sit the controller aside for. Call to find out if you are one of them. :) I'll blog later! <~~~~What's that mean again? Alyson? Billy? Anyone?

Wants vs. Needs

So I was thinking about life today and where I am at in it and something crossed my mind from a conversation I had with Tracy the other day. I told her that most people focus on what they need and let what they want fall to the wayside. That society forces what we "need" to do on us and makes us let go of most of our wants. I think that is why I am attracted to the people that I am. Usually they are people who have found a way to make the two things mesh. To make their wants fulfill their needs. I want to be that kind of person. I find myself frequently enjoying what I do...but it isn't what I want to do. I want to be onstage, I want to entertian people, I want to make kids laugh, make mothers cry, make fathers look at their lives and their children differently. That's how I feel when I am onstage. I truly love going on the thrill ride that is being someone else. I sit at work today and while I am doing the job that I am truly enjoying and trying my best to love because I know it's what I "need" to do...thinking about the show I am rehearsing for tonight and the people I will get to see and share the rehearsal space with as we shed ourselves and slip on something a little more unknown and comfortable at the same time. I have to figure out how to make what I want and I what I need to mesh. My mother spent most of her life to this point doing what she needed to do and now she is medicated to stay happy. I know it's a genetic thing...and work didn't have a lot to do with it...but it did have SOMETHING to do with it. I love you all..I really do. You hold me together. You keep me in line. And you are one of my wants that is a need aswell. I don't say it enough..and I don't show it enough. And this job does have the fullfil the want of having the money and the schedule to show you all how much I love you. Please think about this for a few minutes and see if your wants and needs are meshing..and if they are...bravo. You have achieved something that I feel few do. I know that this is kinda strange coming from me right now. I've just been kinda comtemplative lately...about life. I met someone who I find very interesting and think maybe I want to spend some time with and that seems to want to know about me....which made me want to try to know me better as well. I think that's all for now. I'll blog later.

Oh The Stupid

So I got one of the harshest rejections I have ever gotten last night. The exact words used as an excuse for standing me up were, "Um, I unfortunately I got a better offer." ....
....
....
Yeah. That's right. Someone actually said that to me. It's things like that that make you want to just give up on dating and finding someone special all together...cause you just start to think that there isn't anyone special...just a lot of people who are especially ignorant to the way to handle any social situation. On other news...AHHHH!!!! Also.. I am working a lot. La Maitre is fun..most of the time. Building a lot of pyro. That's fun. Also doing Mardi Gras as showboat dancer #4..who I have named Showboat Willy. Just seemed to fit. And my white man dance is apparently getting less embarrasing. In the beginning I was scoring a 1 on the white man scale...now I am up to a 6. The scale works on a reverse numbering system where 1 is more white and 10 is less white. But I have been informed that a 6 on the white man scale is still like a negative 8 on the black man scale..so I got some work to do. Anyway..back to the ol' exploding grind stone. Later yall.

Strongbadia Lives!

So we got the apartment. We move in on April 13th. That is exactly 5 weeks from today so if you guys have furniture or anything that you want to get rid of message me or something and find out if we need it. We will probably pay you for it..or atleast cart it off for you. The apartment is over in Ocoee, just east of the West Oaks Mall. Vizcaya Lakes. Beautiful property. I am at lunch now after 2 days of not working cause I was ridiculously sick...like violently ill...like 104 temp...for 2 days..not good. I am now popping vitamins like they are candy. I'll blog later.

Bloggin From Work

So it's really slow at work...and I know I get no sympathy and I am not asking for it. That seems to be something that people get confused lately...sharing what is going on in your life and how you feel about it isn't necessarily begging for sympahty. I feel like crap...The flu has claimed three people's time and energy at the shop thus far...and there are only 5 of us...and now it's seems to have set it's sites on me. Headache, sniffles, body aches. No good. I am supposed to go to a show tonight called "Musicals of Musicals". That should be fun.
Now...on to what is really on my mind. I want to know...and to apologize if the answer is yes to this...if I have been a little hot and cold lately. Bi-polar I mean. I know it's genetic...and I have noticed getting ridiculously mad over nothing...I just want to know if it's all in my head knowing that symptoms of bi-polar usually show in your early to mid-twenties and I have a history of it. I know I am stressed right now...about the apartment and everything. Just want to get my life going and it seems like everyone else in the world is just kinda trudging along waiting for things to happen...I want to make things happen. And no Billy..I am not directing this at you...We talked...I understand why you didn't go get the paperwork. The apartment complex is taking their time too.
I think that's it for now. Blog later.