Exhausted

So I am finding that letting go of things is much easier if no one is involved. I am probably asked 4 to 5 times a week why I am not going back to the place that I once called my theatrical home. Not saying names...cause..well..it isn't necessary. Here are a few ramblings that came from my last conversation with someone relatively new to the theater.

"M: why aren't you coming back? tired of the drama?

Eric: Pretty much. it's not the place I found when I was younger....it's twisted...it changed...I can't be there.

M: it has changed...even since i first got there, i feel.

Eric: It's just not the place I loved.

It's a dark and twisted version of what I remember...my wonderland became my hell.

M: wow that's pretty intense

Eric: You don't understand how much that place meant to me when I was little.

M: you're right...i have no idea

Eric: I had no where to go...no one to listen to me... no way to express myself...and I found (theater name)...and finally..I could be me.

M: sounds like you described a great place
or...what used to be, anyway

Eric: Whether it ACTUALLY was or not..I don't know...but for me..it was.

It was my wonderland. Beautiful and mysterious...terrible and frightening...a place where what I thought was not what I thought and what I knew was not what I imagined."

That sums it up in yet another way if anyone was still wondering....and reading. lol. Remember that that came from 48 hours and 5 hours sleep. Anyway...I thought that part of what I said was fairly artistic...so I'd post it.