Uh...Excuse Me God...I Think You Forgot To Throw In That Order of Patience

I like to be able to view things..knowing the factors in play...so I can make my next move. Kind of a birds eye view of the board and the pieces. When I was a child I was the same way..I was the kid who, before he even touched the playdough, had a complete blueprint of what he was going to build..complete with measurements and color-coding. So I have always known that I have no patience. No patience for stupidity, no patience for lack of drive, no patience for a lot of things. But first and foremost, I have no patience for relationships and waiting for them to develop. Within 5 days I want to know where this is going, if the other person is thinking about me when I'm not there, if the other person misses me at all or if I am just a passing fancy. I've always been like this..and I try to ease the blow by saying things like "I know this sounds stupid..." or "So, just for kicks, I was thinking..." or some other line before I say things that I am afraid is going to send people running for the hills.

I just don't understand why those things scare people away. I guess it's just cause if I want to know something....I assume they want to know it. And as I find myself wondering, "Are they missing me at all right now?"...cause I am sure as hell missing them..so I tack an "I miss you a little..lol" to the end of a message. And seeing as I try to make sure that if I have some spare time I offer it to them, I say things like "You free tonight?"..which I just see as an open ended invite..no pressure...for real..but some see that and go.."God...He wants to see me again?!?" That's cause I want to see them daily....it's just who I am..when I with someone..I'm with them... Anyway...this is something I felt was blog worthy...maybe something else will come along soon.