I Hate Feeling Like This

I am so tired of working at Moonlight. Tonight was terrible. I came in and built the puppet show theater and got everything ready for the night. Nathan didn't come in early like he was supposed to and set up the projector so he was busy with that and we didn't get to rehearse with him in the box before the run through tonight...so we didn't even get to use it. I am the worst Stage Manager ever. No one listens to me and everything I try to do turns out wrong. I am so glad I dropped Midsummer..because I couldn't take another show. Jan came in and gave the note, "I have seen the show with just the three and I like it better that way."...translation..I would like the show better if the crew wasn't in it. I shouldn't take that personally...but I do. She gave me that sickingly sweet attitude the one time she talked to me tonight..she is pissed cause I dropped the show. WHATEVER. Then I snapped at Laura because she was giving Jen and me a hard time because Nathan didn't use the puppet show thing tonight. I came close to cussing her out..which would have been bad..but it would have felt good. No one listens to me. Layne does...and she will do what I ask her to. Brittany is bitter because she isn't stage manager I think...I don't know. She just doesn't listen to me. I know I am not the best....I KNOW THAT. I SUCK AS A STAGE MANAGER! It's my first time ever. DEAL WITH IT! We got our notes and I dashed before I started yelling, or punching, or crying..or I don't even know what. That's that. I'll blog later.