Heartbranded

Having just gone through/still going through it, I find the term heartbreak to be absolutely inaccurate.  When something is broken it no longer works.  It is thrown across the area in various pieces, only vaguely resembling it's whole self.  But my heart still works.  In fact, it is as if it is working too well.  It is so full of conflicting emotion I feel it could burst at any minute.  It's steady drumbeat now more often like hooves of a charging nightmare than the rhythmic metronome that my mind is accustomed.  And yes I feel, at times, that my heart has been divided and that he took a few carefully selected pieces with him.  But it wasn't shattered or smashed...it was sliced with surgical precision and the edges cauterized. This is much more like a burn.  Searing pain at first, unlike anything you think you have ever felt.  Hot metal on flesh, placing his mark in you forever.  A constant sting after that and a tightness that only time will heal.  Then one day you feel you are healed, that the sting has finally subsided, until an unexpected gentle prod brings the pain back anew.  A song on the radio, a joke you shared, waking up and reaching out for what your heart tells you is there but your mind reminds you is not, your phantom companion, plans for the future that now have a void, a chance meeting in a pet supply store.  Yes eventually the pain does go away.  The wound scars over.  Your brand a reminder of the careless person you gave possession of your heart.  Just an observation as I sit here and marvel at the scabs.  This is not a break.  This is a burn.  R.F. forever branded me.  But there is a light other than the harsh glow of red metal.  The brand works as a reminder of good and bad.  Light and dark.  Horrible burns and scabs giving way to new flesh and new life.  My heart may be branded but it is not broken and I will give it away again.  Perfect in it's imperfection.